my mum is dating someone.i am sort of against it but do not any particular reason. i prefer she stays alone. i am not sure i would like to meet this new man who is replacing my father. am i being selfish? iam a 23 old guy.
2007-02-20 23:03:55 · 33 answers · asked by kau la poo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i care a lot about my mum,i have a concern about her happiness too. i am can't be sure this new guy will bring her what she is hoping for.just like my father used to.
2007-02-20 23:12:03 · update #1
Your mum is dating at 55???? Oh my god... WONDERFUL !!!
You're being naturally protective of your mum any good son would be. but you need to realise that your mum gets lonely.
You're mum spends her nights alone in front of the tv or maybe she even has nights out with her girlfriends... but your mum gets lonely. Your mum needs someone to share the little things only couples share, someone to have a private joke with whilst shopping at tescos or after watching something on the box. This man will never replace your father, never, he's in your mums life to give her happiness and love, to care for her and buy her roses on valentines day, to share holidays, etc. He wouldn't want to replace your dad, nobody can do that. I'm sure he'd like to be your friend though.
My sister was alone bringing up two children. She told me that she was so lonely, especially during the evenings. She did meet someone in the end and is now happily married. This man has never replaced the childrens father, but he is their friend.
Be happy for your mum and look upon her boyfriend as a friend, not as a replacement of your dad. And another thing.. at least you won't need to worry about your mum being on her own when you go out dating. Smile
I wish you all the best for the future and hope you can get over this little hiccup in your life.
2007-02-20 23:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by 2dog 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are being selfish, you don't expect your mum to treat you like a child all the time, so why should you only think of her as a mum, she is a person in her own right. You have your own life to live, soon you will move on, and do you want her to be a lonely old woman waiting at home for you to visit once a month it you can bothered. she is still young let her have some enjoyment and love, she will always be your mum whatever happens
2007-02-20 23:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
It is refreshing to see a young man as yourself concerned for his mother's happiness. She is by no means old and she deserves happiness. She is NOT replacing your father trust me! She does not deserve to be alone for the rest of her life, stop being selfish. Wish your mother the best of happiness and let her find another mate in life. I suggest you get to know this man with an open mind, give him a chance. Don't look at him as competing with your father he's just a new path in your mother's life. You on the other hand need to find yourself a path an leave mom to her own decisions.
2007-02-21 05:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by Cyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I can appreciate, and to some extent understand, your discomfort, do you not think that your mum (whether 55 or 75) also deserves some happiness in her life the same as you do, or anyone else? You perhaps need some reassurance that you will still have a special place in your mum's heart. I'm pretty certain that you will.
Give her your blessing. One day you might want her to do the same for you.
Best wishes, J
2007-02-20 23:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by sirjulian 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My mum left my dad after 28 years when I was 21. I was devastated to say the least. They subsequently got married and were blissfully happy for a further 20 years until he passed away last year. I never approved of him, he was a good man but I never thought he was good enough to give my mum the life she deserved. I kept my thoughts to myself of course, it was her marriage, her life and who the hell was I to upset things for her.
Same with your mum, if she is happy then be happy for her, you can always be there for her if it goes wrong.
I think you may be anxious at the prospect of this new man taking her away from you, this wont happen, she will always be your mum, however old you are, and I am sure she loves you to bits. Leave well alone or you could jeapordise that.
2007-02-20 23:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you will feel threatened by your mum going out and dating, but WAKE UP!! You're mum must be so lonely, you are old enough now to leave home, and when you do you'll be off on your adventures, and what will your mum have?
Be happy for her, smile and say you think it's great! Eventually you will come around to the idea when you see how happy she is. She's your mum, she's loved you all your life and encouraged you...now it's your turn!!
2007-02-20 23:09:50 · answer #6 · answered by PrettyKitty 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
well if you care about your mother that much the you'll be happy for her....it's HER life, not yours, she has raised you all of your life, so the least you can do is be happy for her and give her your support, this man is not taking your dads place, as long as he treats her good then i don't see a problem here, the problem is YOU.... she is lonely and needs someone in her life, don't be so selfish, this is not about you, this about her and her happiness, don't make her life miserable because she is dating another man, give her your full support and let her live her life, it's OK you saying that YOU would rather see her alone, but have you asked her how she feels about being on her own...just coz she's 55 does not mean she's dead yet...cut her some slack and stop being such a brat, leave her alone and let her be happy for once in her life, and you my dear....get a life of your own
2007-02-20 23:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think i would be fine with it. She's still got a life and good on her for enjoying it. No one would ever replace your Dad and your Mum will know that, but does that have to mean she can't find someone else to bring her a bit of happiness.
2007-02-21 01:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by **tracey** 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in case you choose the child, then tell your mum right this moment away. Youll experience so lots greater valuable and he or she will provide help to with issues. Theres no ingredient keeping back as issues could worsen. she could supply you the acceptable suggestion as mums do. And basically sit down her down, and tell her, basically say something like, i be attentive to you may no longer be too please yet im pregnant. My mate have been given pregnant at sixteen, and thats how she desperate to tell her mum. Her mum didnt flow mad or shout or something, she basically informed her what she thinks she could do. If i became into you however your rather youthful atm and you wont have a good danger of doing what little ones do acceptable at 18 19 that's clubbin happening trip. Its alot of responcebility, and you may desire to easily be valuable you're totally attentive to what you may desire to do and supply for a baby. My buddy had an abortion and notwithstanding she became into very disillusioned on the time she is satisfied she did what she did now. we are the two 20 atm and we are going out of the country alot doing what us women do acceptable. yet as you be attentive to maximum everybody is diverse. Its thoroughly your determination despite if or no longer you have somewhat one. yet mums be attentive to acceptable so pay attention on your mum she could have the skill to provide help to alot so rather do confirm you tell her chick. all the acceptable hun ?
2016-10-02 12:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by missildine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can stick to your mum and never marry then by all means stop her from dating!but lets face we are called individual to be seperated from anybody, so let her decide for her own life beside shes now in her golden years what could go wrong?she have known life longer than you do give her a chance to have a happy life and if her relationship didnt work thats the time you can shelter her with your love...
2007-02-20 23:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by tisya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋