I've worked very hard and sacrificed for many years to make myself into the kind of man any woman would truly desire for a husband and life partner. I'm told I'm a 'great catch.' Here's the problem: I can't pick one woman to live the rest of my life with. And the years just roll by. I love and am in love with five young women I'm very close to. And all for very good, very different reasons. The truth is I could marry any one of them and live happily ever after and raise a family. But I can't for the life of me pick which one. They're all awesome in their own way and offer different positive qualities. Then occasionally I'll meet a new woman and see the beauty and possibilities in them and won't even pursue them as I don't want to complicate and confuse my heart and mind even more than they already are. I really want to start a family and be married, but I just can't seem to choose which one no matter what. It's also painful to think of letting the others go, too. Please help.
2007-02-20 19:13:44 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Do all 5 women know youre in love with 5 women ? I bet if they dont you wont have any to choose from. You sound like a total player. you dont derserve to be with any of them.
2007-02-27 08:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Lily ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you are going through is completely normal. What I'm going to suggest may seem crude, but it will work. Judge them on a scale of 1 to 10. The first 5 points are for physical appearance and overall beauty. The next five points are awarded for intelligence and conversation. The lucky female with the most points wins. In the event of a tie, go with the one that cooks the best.
Step #2. Slow down. There is no need to get married and have a family right now. Try having a romantic relationship with her and make sure you are a couple for 18 months to 2 years. After that, you can marry her and have kids.
If you are having sexual relations with any of these girls, go with the one that is sleeping with you. If there is more than one sleeping with you (props) stop cheating. Use the method above to decide which one is "the one". If you aren't having sex with any of them, go have sex with a stranger. Have a one night stand, clear the testosterone from your system and then give it a fresh look.
2007-02-20 19:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by Wiseass 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you are confused in a big way! You say you're ready to be married and start a family, but your words and story here say you are not! Anyone with 5 chicks dangling on a string is far from ready to be married. I think you just have a huge fear of being alone, which is why you surround yourself with so many women. Marriage is NOT about " Oh, I'm ready to settle down and have kids so I better draw a name out of the hat"! Marriage is about a person....a person you love FAITHFULLY, unconditionally, and solely. I can understand your having feelings for all of these women, but they each must be lacking in something you need, or else you would've had no desire to seek love elsewhere. If you were truly in love with a person enough to marry them, then the others ( 4, or however many) wouldn't mean jack crap to you! So, I say you ditch them all and start over. Cause if it's taking 5 to keep you happy/fulfilled right now, then either something is very wrong with each and every one of them, OR......You are one hard mother f#$k3r to please!!!!!!! :) Best of luck to you.
2007-02-28 07:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you have problems as a child maybe you were left out or missed out on things that your friends didn't. It sounds to me like your trying to make up for something missing in your early life!!
I have been in a similar situation but with 2 men when i was younger and I couldn't pick and they both found out and I ended up with nobody at the end. Plus I think about 1 of them everyday. Think carefully about what your doing after all a proper man only needs one woman not 5 how on earth do you juggle that.
Maybe you haven't met the right woman yet.
2007-02-27 01:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by top totty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Become a mormon dude!
Society (Christianity) dictates 'thou shalt have a single life partner', and you know what? This isn't a dictate put in place by nature. There are many species where the behaviour you describe is completely acceptable - including Benobo chimps, which are a sub species of the chimps we know and love. Check 'em out - they're real cool.
Personally, I reckon that one of the reasons we're so hung up as a species is this insistence from the (christian) god fearing moral majority that we're designed for exclusive one on one relationships. Clearly you're not. My advice - keep on doing what you're doing until you're ready to change, but make sure you practice expectation management. I'm assuming all your partners know about each other, and that if they in turn decided they wanted other partners you'd be cool with it...
2007-02-20 19:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dogstarrr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be a man... In the deeper sense of the word...
First off... stop what you are doing.... second... remember that having someone for the rest of your life is not a hard thing to think of.... just what is the most important thing for you? If you find the answer to that question... you will get the answer... remember, not the possibilities. But what is important to you...
Beauty is lost... in age...
Intelligence is lost... in Alzheimer's
Cooking can be learned...
All things in this world can be learned...
Remember, that one thing lasts... it is the inner being of the one whom you will be with for the rest of your life...
It is never lost... Even in Alzheimer's...
What would that be? The love baby... The love... If this person loves a lot of things, people and herself... If she is a person who is living her life with dignity and is taking the marrow out of life...(Dead Poets Society) you can live without the others... If she has the zest for life... you will have the best person whatever your situation is...
She will be with you whatever the outcome of your life... because she is the best thing that could ever happen to you...
Remember, the only lasting thing in this world is LOVE... Everything else, is lost...
Who do you love and who would you love to be with for the rest of your life?
Hope that helps...;-)
2007-02-20 21:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by DEADPOOL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not an all or nothing world. There is more than one right woman out there for you, beacuse we are so adaptable.
There are many different paths in life and there are different goodies along and at the end of each of them. As in people and relationship choices!
Life is to be enjoyed. Make a choice, do everything you can to make it work and never regret what you have not known, just make the best of what you do have.
All the best of luck and happiness!
2007-02-26 08:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand the place you're coming from. I even have been in the two form of long term relationships and the sharing i replaced into in a position to do with the guy who replaced into analyzing lots, replaced into academically at a undeniable point - as a usual I enjoyed that extra. besides the undeniable fact that he replaced into additionally a impressive individual, being concerned, open, loving, honest and all the different stable stuff. I enjoyed that i ought to income and enhance with him, interpreting and analyzing a similar issues and have days of discussions approximately it. besides the undeniable fact that - in case you opt for for food on your innovations - you additionally can get that exterior your place in case you may desire to. And if he writes some thing and makes errors - do no longer positioned him down, superb him gently or enable it bypass. in case you adore him and he's a robust individual - than take him with what you notice as fault. anybody is diverse and on a similar time as some human beings will examine and communicate issues, the others are there fixing the leaking roof. so which you would be able to desire to confirm what's extra significant to you and what you opt for for to base your life on. stable good fortune
2016-10-02 11:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee. You ain't gettin any younger, pal. While women peak in their sexuality in their thirties, men are steadily losing vigor.
Choose a woman whom you respect when you find one. And stay with her.
Remember. You aren't getting any younger. You want to be an old man, raising young ones? Decide what is really important to you. If you want to be a playboy in your days of wine and roses, then do so. But don't cry when some day you find you're in your middle age, and whazam! The women are just not like they used to be.
Read Book of Wisdom, in the Old Testamtent, and Guide to the Perplexed, by Maimonides.
2007-02-20 19:19:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry for your situation. I guess it's time to let playboy go and settle down. Heres my advice, w/out thinking of any particuler girl ( i know it's hard ) make a top ten list. i.e. non smoker, blond or red head , smarter or as smart as me, financially stable, etc. Then look for a girl with at least those qualities and then some.. Good Luck! P.S. take it slow
2007-02-20 19:26:31 · answer #10 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋