My husband and i just had an argument, last week i did laundry and i haven't put the clothes away, they've remained in a pile in a basket, well he started calling it our drawer, i just did more laundry this past weekend, but i've been sick so i didn't put any away except for his work clothes. on monday he asked if i washed any of his work shirts i said yeah i put ur work clothes away, so then today he just started throwing all the clothes on the floor from the baskets, found 2 pairs of boxers and 1 pair of socks, i said all ur work stuff is put away, and he said oh, i'm not used to my stuff being put away! i said well i told u on monday and if u weren't a smart a** about it u would've remembered, well he started saying how i don't do anything, i just sit on my a** all day. i said oh then how did the front yard get raked today, ( of course he didn't notice) and oh how did the front room get painted? i manage to do stuff even tho all 3 of my kids including myself r sick and my 1 1/2 yr.
2007-02-20 19:11:50 · 13 answers · asked by mgm_5 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and my 1 1/2 yr. old is glued to me! So i said okay well then i'll get a job! I'm a stay at home mom because none of my family lives close by and we have no babysitter! daycare is very expensive! so i stay home! and he has the nerve to tell me i don't do anything! i'm so upset, so i told him to go sleep with my son tonight and of course he did, oh and all the clothes he threw on the floor, my dog ended up pissing on some because of his stupidity!
2007-02-20 19:12:39 · update #1
well hearing that u don't do anything, when u do and it just goes unnoticed kinda hurts!
2007-02-20 19:20:33 · update #2
well wat r u upset of the most? ur husband doesnt think that u worked hell lot or he went off to sleep with ur son when u said so?
being a lady i can understand that men take women for granted specially when she stays at home. for them it is just that u sit idle at home and overlook wat all you had been doing the whole day long. y u taking all this so very seriously? once he cools down he will b ur man again dont forget he is the one who cares for u at the end of the day and takes you out for dinners. try to overlook such arguments and behave normal. all the best
2007-02-20 19:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by nice_lady559 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important factor here is the children. Are they well taken care of and are all of their needs met? If so you are doing the correct thing. Fighting about laundry is ridiculous and if he is making an issue about it there may be bigger issues that are underlying. I would suggest trying to have a conversation, without fighting, to find out what might be on his mind. Don't expect him to recognize the things you do. That's just how relationships works sometimes. It sucks because it seems to you that you do a lot and have a lot on your plate, but his mind is probably on his job and stress among other things. It ismost important to find out what the bigger issue(s) is in order to resolve it so that there is not any stress on the children. If you can't get anywhere by trying to talk then maybe you should just do everything for your children and you and let him take care of his own duties around the home. He can cook his own dinner, do his own laundry, wash his own dishes, etc. He'll soon appreciate all that you try to do for him and the family.
2007-02-21 03:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by AriKnight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a jerk to me. My wife does the laundry but I do the drying and putting away. But I would NEVER get away with calling a hamper my drawer and tearing through it. It would never be in the laundry room for more than a day. And anyway, that wasn´t what was really wrong. It was wrong that he started a fight with you because you had a problem with him. He should have apologized firstly and not brought up anything else, because that is not how apologies work. And saying you do nothing is very rude too, and I suppose when you are mad at him, that is the wrong time to hear that. Anyway, try not giving him any sex until HE comes around. Good luck. Love and Respect.
2007-02-21 03:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by nassim420 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look honey we all go through that...after a while of being married many men (certainly not all cuz there are many good ones out there who share the household chores) get the feeling that they have moved back in with their mother. I broke my leg last fall. Laundry is in the basement. My husband asked me why his laundry wasn't done. I just looked at him and laughed...asked him if his legs were broken. He got the hint.
Men do not (as a general rule) understand how much work looking after the kids and the house is. They seem to think that it involves watching soaps all day and everything does itself.
I think we all learn in time to let them do their ranting and just move on. You can get you point accross to him in many ways...one of which BETTER NOT be in front of the children. Instead of letting him get to you try explaining you schedule to him in an adult fashion without freaking out ( sometime this is hard I know first hand).
My husband now does not say a word to me if I do nothing in a day. When he is on days off he just lays around for the most part. I don't mind that...so sometimes you just need to remind them that this happened to be your day off.
Good luck.
2007-02-21 03:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off I am a stay at home mom and I do everything except put my husband clothes away. He is an adult, I wash them and press them but its up to him to put them away. How freakin ridiculous of him to complain about something so minor...especially when you're sick!
Sounds like there is an underlying problem and the laundry is an excuse to be angry at you without actually discussing the real issue.
2007-02-21 09:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in that situation once. I worked full time and then I was expected to do the dishes, do all his/my laundry, clean the house and he was always complaining the house was messy! We finally ended things and I stopped cleaning period. I didnt do the dishes, or his laundry. I did all my own and when he had three loads to do by himself I didnt care.
WE lived together again he always bitched about the cleaning then, so he did all his laundry, I cooked and he didnt even notice, I also did ninety percent of the work.
Lesson learned no man is that daft they just want to be passive aggressive assholes.
2007-02-21 14:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! Sounds like you had a hell of a week! Tell your "man" to do his own laundry if he doesn't like it! I know that's easier said than done though. I feel your frustration and hope you feel better and not be sick. I think you got your hands full. That's why I'm still alone. Well I live with my sister and her daughter and her two kids so we got drama too. Good luck and do something just for YOU!
2007-02-21 03:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by Fireman T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear, grow up atleast now or never. things can be made pretty simple. at first i used to think the same way. when my wife left me and my sweet kids i used to think can we survive. then i was seeing the house a mess. every thing was scattered and slowly i did the trick. i used to do the right thing in front of the children and talk to myself loud, my son and daughter listened the monolouge and slowly they started doing things which i was doing for them. your husband should be no different.
any case do not feel sick or lazy. work never kills any body. women are always strong than men like us. men are show off and timid.
try to assert effectively and silently. he has to listen. when on bed give him the best and during the act tell him that had he helped you could have given the best this night and every night in future. beacuse you have build up your body for the love play.
men will understand when they are having sex and do not make it as complaint. make it sound as loud thinking.
good luck. love thy husband.
2007-02-21 03:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by sri577201 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the real reason behind this anger,Clothes socks come on something else is going on.Sounds like you need a break.Take time off you'll feel much better.Your husband must be going through something at work you don't know about,Get to the root of this problem.Talk to him see what's going on.
2007-02-21 08:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by lorraine B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's always the same story in every house hold. ...Just three words... LET IT GO! The great thing about life is that things change with time. Your circumstance is no different. You need to find your Zen and accept that the whole fun of life is the absolute chaos. Good luck!
2007-02-21 03:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by moralityisrelative1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋