Can a marriage be repaired?

Question

My husband and I are not getting along at all. We had a huge blow out and I told him to leave and go to his brothers. well, he left for the nt. and went to a gross motel and said it was the worse nt. ever and he never wants to be put in that position again...I understand this and I told him to come home. He doesn't know if he can come back to me because he feels like I could do this again at anytime and he would be left w/ nowhere to go. He said "what if you do this 2 years from now?"

I just want to get past ALL of our fights and arguments and MOVE FORWARD and be w/ my husband, we are going to a marriage counsler on Thursday and if it's not going to work out then he's going to sign a year lease at some place and moveout. How can he know by one session if he's going to try and work it out or leave?? He says he still loves me but "I'm sorry thingd just aren't the same" ANY ADVISE?? PLEASE HELP!!!I

Answer 1

For sure you need help, you said a lot but not enough about his issues. Did he do you wrong? Doing drugs? Cheating...? or just you too can't get along. ?? Not clear.

If he did something wrong, not in your opinion, but in the real world...then he must rectify that or he should not be able to come back and that is it. If its that you guys just can't keep off of each other's case, then you must learn to be happy ... and relax. As he is the one that was kicked out.. How would you like it if he kicked you out??? IT is a bad feeling to be thrown out of your house, you can never feel its your house..and needless to say that is your wife and put you out.

A lot of times if people are happy in their marriage...they find stuff just to start problems as they do not believe they can be happy and this is not happening to them, so they keep looking for mess till they find it. I hope you are not one of those marriages.

Answer 2

Sounds bad to me. Marriages can be repaired but its got to be a mutual thing. If he's decided that its done then no amount of counseling is gonna matter. although him agreeing to go to counseling is in itself a small victory. if you guys fight all the time and are constantly at each others thraosts then why would you want to stay in the relationship? Love is not to be measured by how much pain you can endure from each other. real love is the complete opposite of that. I hope things work out but if he's looking for a way out then he will find it. The real question is is he going to try to lay the guilt off on you. That is what it sounds like to me. He wants out and you've opened the door. now he wants you to shoulder the guilt behind it while he leaves it to She wanted this to be this way. Its all bad from here on out. Good luck though.

Answer 3

Hi there, I feel for ya woman.. look, nobody likes to get booted out of their own house..but sometimes it is nessesary..sounds like he's trying to get you to promise never to kick him out again. Manipulatively. Depending on why he got the boot..I mean, there are good reasons and bad reasons..tell him, yes,there is a possiblity I will do this in the future, if you do THIS..at least then he'll know what your boundaries are, and can accomidate himself, if he chooses to treat you in a way that is not tolerable to you. You aren't going to like this, but maybe you SHOULD let him move out for a while. Im guessing he's full of crap, cuz he couldnt even handle one lousy night in a motel..he sounds like quite the manipulator..one counseling session? He's going to put his marraige in the hands of ONE session? I think your old man is looking for an escape route and wants it to be YOUR fault. I would call him on that, in front of the counselor. And then open the door wide, and tell him here's his chance. Standing up for yourself is the only way to gain the respect of a man like yours- I know, Im married to one too- and after years and years together, we finally have pushed every button, and had every fight, and are finally able to live together harmoniously. Stay strong, do not let him bully you, it wont make him stay, it wont make him respect you, and it wont help. Whatever happens is going to happen, there are just some things you cant control, and you are just along for the ride until he figures stuff out. Just remember- You dont have to argue with him. All that is-is trying to convince someone to see things your way. You are going to disagree- as long as you can respect one another's right to your own veiws, you wont fight about it. It really isnt about always agreeing, it's about respecting eachother, and allowing eachother to be individuals and having that balance with teh fact that you are also partners, and dont get to go off and do whatever ya want without considering your partners take on it. If ya wanna fly solo, then dont get married..this one took my hubby a long time to figure out.

Answer 4

ahhh I know it gets hard... But i dont know what to tell you... I mean there is hope, I was like that well i mean my marrige was like that.. We was always fighting an one day i just got tired of it an told him I was done an i was gonna move out an there had to be someone out there that was better for me... An he asked for one more chance an every since we have been great i mean we havent even got in a fight in almost a year now, in fact in will be a year next month... But i wish you the best of luck@@@@

Answer 5

yes any thing can be fix, but only if you both work at it,, but honest , what you did was wrong, an here why i say this, you should took time too cool off an then work it out, you let sleep fall on you both,,,please next time take time out to pick what you going to say,,,in stead out push him out are him pushing you out, talk, please dont sleep on it, for when you both wake up, the proble going to still be their, so work it out be fore sleep, if it mean stay up all night, so be it, for if you love each other, , you both got to fight to keep the married,

Answer 6

Keri, this "marriage" of yours can in effortless words have a probability of operating in case you both search for suggestion from from one yet another brazenly. So first: Why is your husband no longer in touch in you any extra? you spot in case you do not comprehend then how can you exercising consultation if he's affordable in his stance? perhaps with 2 small toddlers, you've forgotten what it really is to be a lady eh? you're so busy being a mum, that it really is immediately ahead to easily slump round and not at all imagine that your husband would pick to make sure you searching horny etc. we've some acquaintances who've been married no longer see you later as my husband and that i. they have 2 small boys and she truly is a slob! I gown for my husband (which in all fairness ordinary because i'm no longer a mum) and that i got here downstairs one morning in a skirt and our buddy (male) smiled at me and his eyes lit up in appreciation and raised eye brows etc, then his eyes went to his spouse's decrease back (she became in my kitchen cooking) and he said: oh why can not you position a skirt on or some thing as a replace of those slops? She shrugged her shoulders, smiled and said: nicely expensive, they're yours and that i think tender in them. I gently said to her that I had a skirt that ought to look tremendous on her and she became maximum welcome to borrow it and her reaction: ah thanks; I savour your grant yet i'm truly happy with the way i'm. i'd have hit her!!! that is one rationalization why adult men pass searching else the position!!! i'm no longer conserving you're doing that sweetie, notwithstanding it really is in simple terms an celebration of what takes position at the same time as one has toddlers. As for the different issues: he thinks now that he has advised you the reality, he can do what the heck he needs and so is doing that! you actually favor to charm to close what you're doing that turns him off you sweetie because then you've a footing to grasps and decide even if you pick to wrestle for him or enable him pass. i comprehend that is being placed on you - at the same time as truly frankly, he's being the pig - yet when one isn't in touch of their marriage significant different, then someone has to grant. you should in simple terms wish that once he sees you searching the way you probably did at the same time as he fell in love with you, places that spark decrease back and he thinks: wow - who needs to look else the position, when I absolutely have one of those horny spouse at residing house?! I so wish he falls in love all once extra with you and also you pass on to celebrate many satisfied anniversaries jointly.

Answer 7

he is Leary and may leave. time apart May be the answer. did he hit you? call you names? if none why did you kick him out?? counseling should have been done along time ago. however, its never to late. your friend.

Answer 8

yes, it can you need a day or two. To miss each other. And talk adult it. Like adlus

Answer 9

just give him space show him your sorry and you don't want to lose him that you love him