My poor friend really needs help and I don't know what to do???

Question

A good friend of mine has recently come to me in desperation, she is 23 year old and pregnant with boy girl twins. Her parents are very religious people who don't believe in sex before marriage the whole nine yards and pretty much disowned her for her decisions she has made. Her fiance' walked out on her out of nowhere nobody seen that one coming, and now because she was living with him she has no place to go, I have been letting her stay with me when needed and what not, but what my question is how can I help her get the things that she needs for her children? I am willing to help her out financially with a few things, if anyone on here has any items that they are wanting to get rid of please let me know, I am more than willing to buy them off of you or what not, I just need to make sure that she is prepared for these children who are due in less than two months. She is a dear friend of mine and I really feel for her in her time of need. Thanks

I would love to go the garage sale route to help her out but it is far too early for garage sales to be going on so I am looking for anyway to help her, I am doing this for her because I know she would do it for me. If anyone has any ideas for help for her that is helpful and not rude I would love to hear them

OMGoodness I am so sorry I didn't realize I posted this in the marriage and divorce section, if you still would like to help me with my question that would be nice if not thanks for looking.

Answer 1

Wow sorry to hear about your friend. Please go to http://www.freecycle.org and find your local area. You can then join up and find tons of baby stuff for your friend.

Also, go to thrift stores and whatnot.
Good luck and it sounds like you are a really good friend, which she needs more than ever right now.

Answer 2

You could post an add in your local paper. Do you have a free circular that goes around weekly/monthly? You don't have to give out any names or anything like that.
Just put in that
A local family is in need of baby items. Having unexpected twins. Needs to be nice but can't afford much. Willing to go pick up. Please call.
Put your cell phone so your home number isn't out there for others to recongnize.
My kids are grown or I'd be happy to send anything extra.
If that isn't what you would like to do though. You could call your local church and ask them if they have moms with young children you could get in touch with to see if they have some extra stuff. If you don't ask they won't be able to help.
I know it's easy to type in here and ask but when it comes to actually asking people in person its hard. Your not the pregnant one so you shouldn't feel bad. Neither should she though.
Hope this helps..
p.s. also if you've never been to the local goodwill you should try it. they have some of the best stuff and cheap.
Make sure she has the thought process to go for child support for those two when they get here.
She should be able to sign up for W.I.C. (women, infants, children) program now. It is just a food program.. Not like welfare. That way she can get the food she needs now. If you need help feeding her that is a good start. Something you can do now.

Best Wishes to both of you..,

Answer 3

Contact local family agencies. Depending on the city you live in, their are plenty of services that provide assistance with every aspect of motherhood. Even check with local churches for clothes. I'm mean there are programs that will if she doesn't have a college degree pay her to go to school. I'm not talking about going the welfare route, just the private organization route. Log on and look up services, agencies anything that comes to mind. There is plenty of help out there for women in her situation. This is coming from a women who is now 24 year old, raised by a single mother, who with help, put herself through college twice to receive a masters. My mother received assistance in purchasing a home when I was young also. So, where there is a will there is always a way. Good Luck. Tell your friend it can only get better from here now.

Answer 4

She is lucky to have a friend like you!!! Being a "mother to be" is a stressful and hormonal time for women, let alone all of the crazy drama she has gone through.

As far as finding stuff for her and the babies, check with her doctor to see if they can refer you to local government resources. There may be some churches in your area than can offer assistance too. Since she is going to be a mother, there should be social services available to her to help with food and medical expenses. Anything you can do to help her track down the father will help as well. Even though he left, he still needs to be paying child support.

Also, I hope her family will come around once the babies are born. Again, you are a true friend.

Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 5

First of all, I would like to state that you are such a sweet person!!! How refreshing!!! Ok, this is what I think might help: There is a group called, "freecycle.org" (I think its ".org") anyway, if you join its free, and they most likely have a group in your area, if not you can start one. But the way it works, is you sign up and (I have the messages go to my email), you can review all the posts from the people in your neighborhood that are giving away free stuff, or are in need of things. Everything is required to be free. Please check it out, if I am not mistaken, it is a yahoo group. I will pray for you and your friend and her little babies. God bless you all, and I hope this helps you... Take care, ok?
~M
oh good... i just read the answers that you have received and someone else suggested the freecycle site I was mentioning. I am so glad that is the correct site!!! Thanks!~

Answer 6

There are places she can go and get medical help for her children and also food for them. Some of your local churches may can help her. Some churches may not help, but there are some that will. There may be women in the churches that have children that have outgrown their clothes and other things and would love to pass it on to someone who is less fortunate. I can't believe her parents claim to be religious, but disowned her. That is sad. You are suppose to love your children no matter what. Good luck to you and your friend. She is really luck to have a friend like you. I don't know where you live, but if you live in Alabama, please contact me and I will be glad to help her.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Try "Counsel of Churches" or "Catholic Charities" for donations. They may know other things you can do to help the situation. Don't be nervous about using the charties, that's why they are there and that's why people donate to them. Also, it might be an idea to have your friend find out how she can go after the daddy for support of these children. Hope things work out...

Answer 9

Her parents will get over it! I grew up with ultra conservative and religious parents. They're bark is much bigger than their bite when they see the little darlings she's going to bring home to them. That's all I can tell you. Suddenly, those children will almost replace their religion. And God forbid anybody doesn't see them as the most adorable grandkids on the face of the earth. Believe it!!!

Besides, she's 23 years old. She's going to have to grow up now.

Answer 10

Can you throw her a baby shower? What about her ex-boyfriends family? A grandma doesn't always agree with what their son has done.It's sad that your friends parents have reacted this way.It used to be at one time a couple waited until after mariage to get pregnant.This just proves that men will get what they want then dump a woman. She will need to get a D.N.A. test to prove that the twins are his and get child support for them. Don't blaim his parents they can be of help for their twin Grandchildren.

Answer 11

Check with your local public aid offices, the salvation army, good will, red cross, pregnancy crisis centers... most of those places will help her get on her feet as well as donate some of the items she will be needing for these babies. She may also want to go file for child support. He may not want her but make him help with the kids.