I have these 2 homosexual guy friends and we all have known each other since forever. They have been dating each other for about 4 months now, and recently, the one who is the what I would call 'dominite', he has been sort of agressive to the more passive one. He's always forcing himself on him even when the other one doesn't want to do that yet. The passive one has been afraid to even stop him at this point or even look him in the eye now. His answers are short and quiet whenever the dominite one says something to him, and I've seen him cry. I know that this is wrong and I want to do something, but should I? I mean, come on. someone is being abused right in front of me, what choice do I have? But I want to know: is it okay to take some action and try to work things out between the two, or should I just keep my mouth shut becuase this probraly isn't what they would want me involved in. I don't want to seem like I am a freaking meddler ... but I just can't sit by and watch this happen!
2007-02-20 17:44:56 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
talk to them one at a time, about it
2007-02-20 17:48:31 · answer #1 · answered by Dawn C 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's between the two of them, unfortunately.
This is a lot like someone with a drug or alcohol abuse problem. Until your friend *wants* help there is really nothing you can do but listen and be supportive when they finally do decide to take action.
Naturally, encourage him to seek counseling for being in an abusive relationship. Reassure him that everyone deserves to be loved and the way he is being treated is not love. Help him, as a friend, to try to be more confident and independant. People stay for many reasons like the fear of being alone and that no one else will want them and they don't deserve better.
So don't meddle, but do help your friend with some self-esteem exercises so that he can find the strength to leave. One of the best ways to build self-esteem is to find something you're really good at and that you love.
2007-02-20 17:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes! You need to get the mousy one to stick up for himself, or get him away from the other. If this guy is forcing himself on the other, it won't be long before he's hitting him. You may wind up with only one friend, but it seams to me you'll and him will be better off in the long run.
2007-02-20 17:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask your passive friend if he is happy and is everything okay. Explain that abuse is never okay. He may be waiting for someone to step in. Lets face it, the dominant one will be negative about you butting in, because he's the aggressor. If I had a friend that was being abused, I would step in, but cautiously.
2007-02-20 17:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by applebottom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's domestic violence no matter the sex of the partners involved and it needs to stop before it escalates. Since neither of them is going to do anything about it someone else needs to before your next visit to them is either the county jail or a hospital room.
2007-02-21 04:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this was one of your girl Friends wouldn't you step in and do something? An abusive relation ship Doe's not chews a sex.DO SOMETHING! get your friend out of this relationship.Have him stay with you for a few days, Help him find a new place to live.
2007-02-20 19:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get involved... That is violence...
What I would recommend is 'to teach how to fish'... Just talk to the abused one and get him to realize the situation, together figure out how he can defend himself against ALL such people...
He shall expect seperation if thing s don't work out...
2007-02-20 17:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by e077168 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd advise you to stay well out of it....if you interfere (given that it's well intentioned) it will end up rebounding on you with you being the hurt one...and losing them both as friends.....I hope they work around their relationship for your sake...take care and good luck {;o)
2007-02-20 17:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by PCee 49 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Domestic violence is never right! Please HELP HIM! Please help the awareness effort of Domestic Violence in the Gay Community that it is Real and not a game of like your speaking of "dom and sub". Friends like you are desperately needed. DO NOT GIVE UP! Step in dear YOU ARE NOT MEDDLING!
2007-02-20 17:54:36 · answer #9 · answered by LM 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you should
2007-02-24 23:32:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋