He cheated on me a few months ago and like an idiot I took him back. He kept on cheating on me while he was trying to make things work with me. Now he says he not doing anything, but am I stupid to take him back? I'm driving myself crazy and getting depressed over things he may have done. Getting anger over something I see on TV or outside cause it takes me back to what had happened. I think he really truly does love me and doesn't go crazy when I mistreat him of what happened, but I hate feeling this way. I can't seem to pick up the pieces of my heart and put them back together.
2007-02-20 17:28:34 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Making a bad choice does not mean you are stupid. The guy has cheated on you more than once so he will probably do it again especially if you have only been together a short time. Sounds like he's seeking thrill instead of love. Not to mention the dangers of multiple partners and sexually transmitted diseases. I hope you practice safe sex. It's terribly sad that someone who claims to love you would even make you have to worry about such things in the first place. You have every right to be angry. Unfortunately it's nearly impossible for most relationships to mend back into a healthy relationship once that trust has been broken. He doesn't deserve you.
And if you stay, what is there to build on? I doubt you'll ever feel surefooted with what foundation you have to work with. It will hurt like hell for while but you will at least have your pride and self dignity. Don't think that all men are cut from the same cloth. There's someone out there who will truly cherish your love and affections, faithfully!
Sorry for your pain. I hope your heart leads you to a happier path.
2007-02-20 18:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by wyld_roze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id normally say yes, that it was a mistake to take him back.. but i guess, love does make us stupid at times. Im sure you just love him too much to just let him go. One thing i can say though, the next time he cheats again, that should be the end to it. I think one chance is enough. If he does it again, that ony means, he will never learn. As for now, try to pick up where you left from and start fresh. It may take a while since youre still bruised but if you love him that much, you will heal in time.
2007-02-21 01:44:26 · answer #2 · answered by Jacy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going through the same thing.I know that my husband has cheated &he will not admit to it.But deep down in my heart I know that he has cheated & I also know that he loves me. and every time I think about him being with someone else just drives me insane which I then doubt his love for me.I cant figure out why someone would cheat on you if they really love you.I've been with my husband for 25 yrs.and have put up with a lot of his bullshit and have never once cheated on him.I am still hurting and I do say a lot of nasty thing to him to try and hurt him but there is nothing that I say to him to ever make him feel the pain like he brought upon me.And to tell you the truth If he did cheat and admit it I really don't know how long it is going to take for me to forgive him.And I can't forgive and forget cause he is never going to admit to doing anything.So I guess that i have heard aint nobody doing nothing to you.for the last time.If he weren't cheating I guess he would have been saying I am not cheating on you.instead of the first saying.And I have told him time & time again if there is somebody out there that he wants to be with.Let me know so that i can move on with my life and be happy.He keeps stressing that he is not going to leave me&I am not going to leave him.So the answer to your question is no I don't think that you are stupid.You are just stupidley in love and that is not a bad thing.these men need to realize what love is & recoconize it when a women really loves them back.I am going to add you to my prayers and hope that everythings works out for the both of you.And may god bless you in your time of need.
2007-02-21 08:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to call you stupid. So, I know that deep down inside, you really are a very smart girl. Its just that you have been drowning in the emotions of this relationship which has "clouded" your ability to think within reason. Am I correct? Ok, now, I want you to know that you will never be happy with this guy. He does not love you. He never did. He does not know how to love. And don't think he does, because if you love someone, you care about their feelings, you will not do the things like this that will hurt them, at least not over and over again! So, I want you to think about what your future is going to be like if you continue to be with this "loser", I mean, guy. Do not EVEN consider any of the lies that he keeps telling you about his "love" for you or whatever, he only does that to keep you around while he does as he pleases. Now, do you actually see yourself making a happy life with this fool? No, I didn't think so. I bet you see (if you are looking at it without the rose colored glasses), I bet you see a life of misery, hell and heartbreak, right? That's because that is what happens when we continue to let someone treat us this way, they always continue to treat us this way. Until we make them go away. (Actually, make "ourselves" go away from them). Because you cannot change another human being - EVER. You can only change yourself. Now, go girl, and get this garbage bag out of your life - NOW!
2007-02-21 02:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings of need for him are overriding your better judgment. Even if he deserves forgiveness, that requires time and space. You're not over what he did to you, which is evidenced by the emotions you're explaining. You need to be over it, but you took him back way too soon for that to be possible.
Some people never get over it, and that's definitely a good thing in many cases. It's a protective response. People deserve faithful partners.
Not only is he cheating on you, but you're cheating yourself out of the possibility for happiness with him (or anybody else for that matter).
2007-02-21 01:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have nerve been cheated on so I don't know how you feel. When you love someone you always want that person in your life. Your not stupid for taking him back try going to consoling and see if you two can work things out.
2007-02-21 01:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by hollidayfun@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you trly want ? Listen this is not the kind of problem you want all of us on Yahoo to solve for you. My suggestion is you better sit down with him and talk things out. I know people who have recovered from a spouse cheating incident and went on and had good solid wonderful life together. I myself have been married 33 years. But You have to talk to each other. When my wife and I get into trouble is when we keep something to ourselves and don't talk about it. You have to resolve the issue ONE way or ANOTHER.
2007-02-21 02:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by WOLFMAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I don't know how long you have been with this guy, not long I hope. This will not get better.He will keep cheating and then saying he is sorry, and you will keep getting mad,...a vicious circle. Believe ME, I have been there, and I stayed too long. You can pick up the pieces of your heart, be strong, and just say " I deserve better than this for myself". YOU CAN DO IT!!
Good Luck! "G"
2007-02-21 01:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by Gloria C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He KEPT cheating on you while trying to make things work? And you really believe that he is not doing anything or will not do anything again? I think your heart peieces will be put back together when you let him go to his own merry ways.
2007-02-21 05:02:29 · answer #9 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of it. Maybe one day after healing your heart you can try again but for now it's not going to get any better with him there. You have lost trust in him and thats not something people earn overnight
2007-02-21 01:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋