Me and my wife are christians
My wife tells me that she is still in love with her friend from years back. who she hasnt seen in 6 years but she says she loves me also.
She said she still had these feelings for him when we got married and the reason they are not together is because he doesnt feel the same way
Do you think I should divorce her?
2007-02-20 16:54:05 · 20 answers · asked by rew115 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. You made a commitment before God. For better or worse. Work on your marriage. Make it work. Seek counseling if it is that bad. Talk to a pastor (not your own, but another one you would feel comfortable with). Don't give up.
2007-02-20 16:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by Angel D 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My dear brother,
It doesn't sound like you really want to divorce your wife. If you did, you wouldn't ask anybody else. No one can tell you to leave her. That would have to be your decision. Seek God in prayer. He does answer! I can tell you that God's love has no conditions. He would get more glory, from your story, if you can make this work.
Both of you would have to ask, "Do we still want this marriage?"
If the answer is yes, then please, seek out a counselor, especially if children are involved. Don't give up! You and your wife may discover that what she thinks is "love" for this other man, isn't love at all. Many of us mistake "lust" for love. Real love is a commitment, not an emotion. Both of you stood before the Heavenly Father, and made a vow before Him, and witnesses. Obviously, something was there.
Brother, your wife hasn't cheated on you, has she? Let the evil force behind this thinking (divorce) know that your wife is worth fighting for! She says she loves you! Keep her affirmed! Let her know that she's beautiful! Do SPECIAL things for her! Support HER in every way that you can! She may not know how to respond to you, but have patience.
Christian does mean "Christl-ike". We are not Christ, but He's an awesome example for us.
Dear brother, marriage is a picture of Christ relating to the church. You represent the Christ, she the church. SHOW THIS WOMAN SO MUCH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, UNTIL THE DAY COMES, THAT SHE'LL SAY, "There is still two men in my life that I love. YOU AND JESUS!!" Go for it brother! Who knows, the two of you could end up working for the master in an awesome "couples ministry".
Just something else for you to ponder. This may not pertain to your situation. Just a side note.
Women who have not bonded to their fathers in a healthy manner, do sometimes have problems relating to their husbands, and, or other males. Counseling will help bring this out, if it is true. You may have a "wounded little girl", who lives in a grown woman's body! Here's your chance to minister to her!
Greater is Jesus in you, then he, who is of the world!
"Focus on the Family", with James Dobson, has awesome resources!
"Creflo Dollar", "TD Jakes", and "Gregory Dickow" also have awesome resources! Let God lead you! All of these powerful leaders have websites.
STAND, MIGHTY WARRIOR! YOU CAN DO IT!!
2007-02-21 02:22:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you made a mistake in marrying her. She wasn't honest with you in the beginning. She can't love you both, she has to love one or the other. I think that she needs to find out what is going on with herself and should seek counseling.
She still had these feelings when you two got married, then you shouldn't have married her. That was a red flag!
You married her because you love her, I really think that she is just a confused woman who is probably dealing with some issues that you don't know about and it is time to find out by talking to her. This marriage can be saved, if she allows herself to open up to why she is behaving this way. I don't think that it is you that is the problem or the other guy, it is her.
Please consider on reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands".
2007-02-21 01:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible condones divorce when the actions of the one spouse is causing the other to stumble or struggle in their Christian walk or if there was adultery commited and it cannot be resolved. So ask yourself, is this adultery? Can this problem be solved if you seek counselling from a pastor or priest? Is it worth breaking a vowe you made before God and man? Tough choice but it is an important one. Try to find the root of the problem and pull it out.
2007-02-21 02:46:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should divorce her because even though she might still have feelings for this other man she MARRIED you, and especialy know that the man she also likes DOES NOT want a relationship with her tells me that it eill never get anywhere...I do think counsling will help give it a whirl, besides you made a promise to God to love, and honor this eoman untill death do you part
2007-02-21 02:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course not!!!! her feelings were not returned so you should not!!!! you probably feel jealous (i don't blame you) but why would she tell you this if it would do more harm then good??? she needs to face reality that she and him will NEVER happen!!! Ask her why did she marry you??? what are the qualities you have that he doesn't have??? tell her that he could've broken her heart in the long run. if it was ment to be then she would've married her. Something between you guys are making her doubt the marriage. Communcate with her or seek counseling!!! Do your best to save the marriage. Don't just give up!!!!
2007-02-21 01:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by truth hurts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As both r u christians my humble suggestions for both of u,its written in Bible in new testment that a man or wommen should get married only once.Jesus did not gave any option of divorce or just leave her/him and marry another men/wommen.He said if ur wife or husband is alive and marry again then ur doing sin against jesus christ who came all the way from heaven and died for our sins.So my request to u that try to explain the situation and try to convence her about it.
2007-02-21 01:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by prem k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. I personally don't think so. It's unrequited love on this old "flame" of hers. She loves you, said the marriage vows with you, She needs to get over this old guy stuff, and get on with enjoying being married to you. Besides, the other guy is probably married to someone else now. And, if she wanted to face "reality" of the situation, she is off limits to anyone else. Marriage is a committment. She is "in love" with the memories. She loves you-now. Please see the pastor, or some couselor if this continues to be a problem. Please, pray for her to "get over" this guy. And, ask God to help you be the husband she needs you to be. She loves you. She must be happy with you. I wish you the best. Take care.
2007-02-21 01:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did Jesus say about divorce in Mathew 5:32? You need to put your relationship in prayer. You know the enemy is here to destroy and kill everything God has made. He made you and your wife. Don't let this lie about your wife having "feelings" for someone else steal your peace. Take it to God. Tell him, "you gave me this woman for my wife, and I accept her. But how can you give me all of her heart? How can she be loyal to me? I am the man of my household? In what ways have I gone wrong? Show me God, what you are trying to tell me. What do you want me to learn from this tribulation?" Pray, and Pray. Read your bible daily. He will reveal what is really going on....do you attend a faith fellowship church? They have great resources for marriage counseling. Go to your pastor and inquire. God Bless you and your marriage. DON'T let SATAN steal your happiness and your marriage nor do you mind the people who suggest you to divorce her. You do what God tells you to do....rest in his mercy and all will be good.
2007-02-21 01:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
She must really have it bad for this guy to have been honest enough with you to tell you that. But really what she could be in love with is the way things used to be with him at that time in her life. She's most likely committing adultery in her mind. Talk to your pastor about this. I'm sure he would recommend counseling.
2007-02-21 01:11:34 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋