Actually my husband is not well perfomer in bed compared to the other man although he is very good and undestandable, he always listen to me and take good care of me!
2007-02-20 16:35:40 · 30 answers · asked by Dorothea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why ask us now? You've already done the deed.
Go ahead, wreck two families... Dump your husband. He and the man's wife deserve better than the two of you.
This is that "for better or WORSE" part of the vows you took.
2007-02-20 16:40:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok! well well lets see....
I can't help but wonder, have you explained to your husband maybe different things you would like to do in bed to make things better?
I"m sure you've been asked... and if you have... you may have already and it's made no difference. You may not have tried this. If you haven't, you may not have, fearing hurting your husbands feelings. He may shock you and welcome the input.
I'm going to assume you've tried making things better already, cause most would have before actually considering leaving your husband for another man.
Sex IS NOT a reason to pick another man. I admit more than most ... Sex is A HUGE part of the realtionship. If one of the two are not happy with the performance no matter how many times trying what may. It's a problem!
Where your question concerns me is, is it really worth hurting this other man's wife and family? Do you really love this man? Or do you love the sex.
If you love the man, he loves you... you know you could lay your life on it, as the truth... Then together is where you two of you need to be.
Please hear me out, if sex played even the smallest reason to you wanting to end your realtionship. Or better put, if you know in your mind, if this new man wouldn't be the normal "type" of guy you would go for, but the sex is that good!!! Please know TRUST ME (haha) he's not the only guy who will know how to F**K. Just to be blunt.
You stated your husband is not a "well performer". Are you aware there is an outstanding %rate of women who never get off. Without some sort of touching or oral sex. There are more women (if they'll admit it or not is one thing) that DO NOT get off from pentration than who do. Most women must have some sort of C**T action.
When it comes down to it, there is a choice to be made.
My advice,
sit down to yourself... compare the two men, without evening considering sex with either....
weigh out in your mind... which is the better man.
and which do you love for the right reasons
and that my dear will be the man i suggest you to pick
goodluck keep in touch if you like
heather
2007-02-20 17:01:46 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor you. I had same or similar problem.
All I can suggest is: just make a choice, any decision is better than none.
My case was easier because i was trying to fix my marriage earlier and I was very unhappy but had no will to just simply finish it. So once I fell in love with other guy (married) and my husband found out I decided on divorce.
I know it's considered as bad thing and all will tell you that you will destroy two families, but as someone said that if people decide on affair, there is usually a reason for that so those marriages aren't probably strong or good enough. Or maybe they are if they survive such an experience, who knows.
You may be interested if that guy divorced as well - no, he's still with his family, we tried to end our affair few times but we failed and I have no idea what future will bring us but I believe that everybody has right to be happy.
2007-02-20 20:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly what's done is done, you messed up already so going forward get away from the married man and work out your marriage. I was in the same predicament and it took me about 6 months to get my man to make love to me the way I would enjoy it. Unfortunately nowadays men have to be told how to treat a woman and worse how to satisfy a woman as hardly any man knows how to do this anymore, I can only suggest teaching your husband the right way but honestly the relationship with the married man will never work out. If you leave your husband for him he will eventually cheat on you and also the sex will also be weak. The best sex is from someone else who doesn't belong to you so you enjoyed it enough, time to give it up.
2007-02-20 16:44:02 · answer #4 · answered by TinTin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dorothea, time for reality check. Let's start with you. Do you honor yourself by your choices? You chose one man as a husband. Now you are looking at another man. I can guarantee that over your lifespan you will have the opportunity to meet many more, married and unmarried, who will look attractive and some may be better in bed than others. But what do you want? Honor yourself by your answer to this question. You first have to learn to love yourself, to accept yourself without judgment. If you can truly love yourself, then you will find it in you to make the right decision. Whatever that may be. I'm not trying to suggest you should stay married or dump hubby for somebody else. You have to make that decision. But make a decision that honors you as you would like to be honored.
2007-02-20 16:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah what mik said. that is your only options if you want to do that right thing.
The reasoning behind you wanting this other man is one of the main reasons God made sex for man and wife only. So we wouldn't want others in that way..
Why don't you try new things with your HUSBAND instead of lusting after someone elses. It is hard enough to stay together these days without other men/women trying to break up marriages. If you truly don't want to stay with your husband there are alot more men out there that is good in bed and SINGLE.
2007-02-20 16:46:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you let yourself fall in love with another man a married man at that?
It's not love it 's Lust. Either come clean and repair the marriage or get a divorce it's not fair to YOUR Husband or that man's wife to be left in the dark while y'all going around creeping with each other.
2007-02-20 19:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by K_pink05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you are not a lady. A lady would not do such things that you speak of. What you can and should do is work on your own marriage, and leave the other man to work on his marriage as well. Have you no respect for the marriage vows you've taken??? Have you no part in being a 'well performer in bed' partner for your husband???
2007-02-20 16:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound confused and disappointed.
It sounds like you are getting great sex from the married man and love and security from your husband. It sounds like you are getting your needs met, but you are unhappy. What do you want?
Do you feel guilty because you are having an affair? Do you want one man to provide everything for you? What do you want?
You cannot know what to do until you first know what you want.
You cannot control another person. The only thing you can control is what you want and what you are doing to put yourself in the position to receive what you want.
Kind regards
2007-02-20 16:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then you made a mistake on marrying the wrong man for your needs. But, since you are already married, you should leave this other man alone and not destroy his marriage with his wife.
Stay with you husband and stop ruining other people's lives.
2007-02-20 16:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋