please help me to check and improve my English composition?

Question

http://hk.geocities.com/nata_527/writing.htm

thank you very much ^^

Answer 1

yet it can instill independence in me will sound better.

i solve problems singularly

ameliorate my competence indeed-the indeed is unnecessary

i can promise that my salary will fulfill that need sounds more correct.

...let me live by myself, for i am now 23 years of age but my parents, even today, treat as though i were 3 years old.

dont use the word formerly when u write.it seems as though you are the only one who went there and now you are somewhere and FORMERLYwhen you were in secondary sch..... naaaaaaaaaaaah..not too good. You can say,, earlier when i was.....

MAINLY, on accpunt of their... is better than JUST on their...


on their account of the dangers i may face ont he way. and the lateness of the hour.

It seems unfillial to say this, but it is the true fact.

It is good otherwise.
All the Best in what evr you need.
All the best!

Answer 2

Here's my rewrite:
I believe I am adequately mature to live alone. I can handle my daily routine in its entirety. To me, housework is not such an arduous task and I know that I can manage it. There is no denying the fact that it may be lonesome to live alone, yet I would learn much about independence. Moreover, I relish solving problems and challenging myself. Granted that I am not very wealthy enough at this time to have a high quality home, I can be satisfied with what I can afford, and look forward to being able to improve my circumstances by hard work and sacrifice.

I do not know why my family does not want to let me live by myself. I am 23 years old, and an adult. Formerly when I was in secondary school, I seldom participated in extra-curricular activities just on account of their anxieties of the dangers I might face and their fears for me. I realize they are trying to protect me, but this is hindering my ability to develop social skills and to learn to handle difficulties. Perhaps their need is for my assistance at home, and they fear losing my support and love.

I really hope that they can see things from my point of view and that we can come to a mutual understanding.

Answer 3

I believe I am mature to adequately live alone. I can entirely handle my daily routine. As a matter of fact, the housework is not such an arduous task. I believe that I can accomplish it easily. There is no denying the fact that it may be lonesome to live alone, yet it can drill me in independency. Moreover, I relish solving problems singularly and challenging myself; it can absolutely ameliorate my competence. Granting that I am not very wealthy to have a high quality home, I can be fulfilled easily if my salary is ample to do that.
I do not know why my family is so stubborn by not letting me live by myself. I am 23 years old now, but they treat me as if I am only a three-year-old child. Formerly when I was in secondary school, I seldom participated in extra-curricular activities just on account of their anxieties of the danger I may have experienced by arriving home late. Such unworthy worries made me could not get along well with others in my secondary school life. That was just one of those uncalled for things. It is somewhat unfilial to say that, but that is the fact.

I really hope that they can be in my shoes and grant my request for living on my own. I know I am mature and responsible enough to be granted this ultimate priviledge.



i hope this helps!

Answer 4

On a lengthy-time period foundation, you want to study extra - properly-written fiction and non-fiction. study some out loud, so that you get a 2d enter into your mind. study slowly and heavily, so that you get a sense for what sturdy writing sounds like and appears like. On a short-time period foundation, before you write the composition, do somewhat brainstorming and write down key factors you've the want to make. Then make an outline, including both an introductory and a concluding sentence or paragraph. once you're going to make a level or have a perspective on your composition, make positive what you're saying helps that, and circumvent wandering.