Im in the process of adopting my wifes middle child of 5 and the biological father has never seen the child or made any attempts to see his flesh and blood.
2007-02-20 15:56:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The Biological father does know the child is alive and it is his... There has been a paternity test done and he knows he has seen us several times over the past 4 years and has made no attempt.
2007-02-20 16:14:46 · update #1
Then he is simply a sperm donor, not a father.
You will be the child's father.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-20 15:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you're asking if the father should have rights to that child or what. I have 4 children and their biological father went w/ out seeing them for 4 years. I told them he was sick because you don't want to talk about the "A" holes in front of the kids. Mine were very young so they didn't have any questions for a long time until they started school and eveyone there had a DADDY. It broke my heart, for them, all the time. I was consumed w/ sadness for them. He is back in their lives again but still flaky. He doesn't call them or ask to visit or offer to keep them. I have gotten him to keep them a couple of times but you can always hear the sigh in his voice. I don't think he'll ever be good for them. If your guy hasn't seen your child ever then I would say there aren't going to be any problems now. Your child should be made to feel like he/she has a Daddy and it is you. If the child has been told about the dead-beat one then that's horrible. Maybe there is some way to let the child know that he/she has been blessed w/ 2 fathers. One they see and one they don't. The one they can see is you, because you can be there. The one they can't see is him, because he can't be there. The child obviously knows that it isn't a full-part of the family if adoption is in the process. I mean how sad...middle child syndrome and the biological father never showed. If you are a good father,this child knows and won't have too many questions about the (pardon the expression) sperm donor until they just have to see what he looks like. Good luck to you and family. This is always a sticky situation when you're trying not to warp the child.
2007-02-21 00:22:31 · answer #2 · answered by UP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has the ability to be a biological father but not the love wisdom or caring that a good father must possess. I'm not sure that there should be another term for people like that; perhaps Seed Planter because it seems that's all he did. You adopt and make sure you are a real father to the child
2007-02-21 00:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off - I would not jump to conclusions of him being a dead-beat. Does he know that this child exists? Many times the moms don't tell the bio dad - or they try to pass it off as someone else's. I assume that if you are adopting then he will have to terminate his rights. Good for you for taking that on and giving that child a father. A friend of mine never saw his baby because the mom would not allow it - he terminated his rights when she married and wanted the guy to adopt. He thought it was his way to give the kid a stable life. Remember that there are 2 sides to every story - and since we are part of the mom alienating the child from the dad I tend to lean towards giving the dad the benifit.
2007-02-21 00:08:41 · answer #4 · answered by sara 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if the man..walked out of his child's life..never contacts..attempts to contact..attempts to see his child..and there is no valid reason for it..other than that is the kind of person he chooses to be..than he was never a father in the first place..if he refuses to take responsibility for his child's life..be apart of his child's life..emotionally as well as financially..I believe he should be ordered by a court of law..to get a vasectomy..instead of being allowed to destroy the lives of the innocent children..he brings into this world..right or wrong that is my view on the subject..
2007-02-21 02:02:06 · answer #5 · answered by noga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They're missing out.
I have experience with this. My mother was never married to my biological father. The only time he's ever seen me was when I was 8 months old and my mother had him in court for paternity. And that was 33 years ago!
When I was 3 months old my mother married my stepfather, who subsequently adopted me. As far as I'm concerned he was my dad--and he told me that my biological father was missing out.
2007-02-21 00:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can tell you I have experience in this.
My daughters biological father(we'll call him bio) has never seen her. Well, once when she was a baby then once when she was about 6 or 7. The problem started later on because we live in a small town. When she started working he found out and started going thru her job just to see her. He'd order something but he was there to see her. Well with this town being so small she found out. He had actually not even known she worked there until he yeld at the girl behind the counter one day for his order being wrong and bio's wife told him he had yeld at his own daughter.. what a jerk huh. Anyway that is when he started stalking her. After she found out he was going to see her she was a totally different person. She became obsessed with finding out what he looked like because he was seeing her without her knowing it. One day she knew it was him coming thru, she took his order in drive thru and he came around and he never spoke to her. She went in the back and cried for 30 minutes. She is 19 now and loves Her dad(my husband) dearly but has issues with this biological father thing.
Throughout the years I have talked with him and he has said he wanted to get to know her but he never put forth the first step. He is a coward. She still to this day believes he should take the first step in seeing her. He keeps saying she can come see me whenever she wants. WHATEVER!
I think you have a good chance of her loving you fully. It is a good idea on her part to have you adopt her so that she doesn't feel completely unwanted when she does find out she has a different father.
My husband has helped my daughter feel the love she thinks she is missing. Well, I don't think she thinks she's missing love so much as she does feel like she was abandond by this guy.
She needs you so much..
I have a friend that married for the second time and her husband will not adopt her son. He feels rejected and unwanted because his real father has never been around either. Now to have another man reject him is way more than he should have to handle.
You may have to get him to sign over his rights but surely when you tell him that if he doesn't sign over those rights that he will have to pay child support he will be ok with it.
Good Luck and I wish the best for your family.
P.S. So be sensitive to her when she gets older. For sure if you live in the same town as he does. People talk. She would need to know what is going on from you instead of others. Make sure she knows what he looks like just in case he decides to come around.
P.S.S. my views on the fathers that have never seen there children are cowards an will never amount to anything in life. Worthless. They shouldn't have any rights at all.
I never even asked my daughters biological father for one red cent and he still wasn't around. ERRRR.. They make me want to puke. He asked us if we could get child support out of him if he signed his rights away. OMG.. what an idiot...
Then he had the gaul to ask me where we was getting all this done because he wanted to adopt his wifes kid. I told him to find out that info himself. If he couldn't love his own child how could he adopt and love someone elses.
Sorry this was so long of an answer but you struck a sore spot.
Be Sweet To Her, She Needs It!
2007-02-21 00:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well then he is only the biological father. BUT, does he know that he has a child? Maybe he has made no attempt because he is unaware that this has happened. I've heard of situations like that.
2007-02-21 00:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by Nonnie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it is sad that the child never seen his bio father. But, it is you who is the father to this child and that child will only know that you are the one who fathered him/her.
I am so proud of you for wanting to adopt that child and call him/her your own, because that child will only know that about you. Your wife must be proud of you to father her child!
I wish you the best of many more blessings to come your way with your family.
2007-02-21 00:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The biological father is going to miss out on alot with his own flesh and blood. Oh well, it was his choice to do so.
2007-02-21 00:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother left my father when I was 8 years old. Never did he attempted to contact me. I'm now 24. I saw my father for the first time in 9years old. And it was weird. He admitted that he did know where I was. Even though he never gave a reason why. I feel that it had nothing it do with me. But, alot to do with the relationship with my mother.
2007-02-21 00:04:35 · answer #11 · answered by Pinki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋