My 16 yo son is in big trouble at our house (his primary residence) b/c he told his 5 yo sis to call me the worst swear word you can call a woman (begins with c)! Now he wants to live with his dad who is never home - no supervision! About 2 months ago, my 16 yo was in big trouble with his dad & didn't want to visit him at his house. Of course, we made him visit his dad as we had arranged. My son plays me & his dad against each other to his advantage. We're having a big family meeting tomorrow nite - my son, his dad, me, also my hubby, the step-dad. I'm concerned my son is going in a wrong path. What should we do? Any serious suggestions are greatly appreciated!
2007-02-20 15:01:27 · 6 answers · asked by sweet pea 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I just ordered the "Unhappy Child" book - thx for the link - yes, he is unhappy, jealous of the kids I had w/ my current hubby (his dad is also jealous, unhappy & never got over our divorce) & I've already called a counselor & set up a meeting for us. I'm sure I could use suggestions to improve my parenting, too.
2007-02-20 15:18:31 · update #1
You need to get your son into therapy. He is very unhappy, and you know it. There are a lot of mistakes that divorced parents can make to cause the unhappiness in the child. I know when I remarried, my daughter hated my new husband and she even kicked a door into his face! :0
But I got her into therapy and I read this book called the Unhappy Child by K. Condrell and it describes a lot about why your child may be unhappy and offers helpful suggestions towards making him happy again. Get the book, get several parenting books, and read them. Love your son unconditionally and get him the help he needs to be apart of your family again.
2007-02-20 15:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mother of 5/Madre de 5 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son tried this but I wouldn't allow it to work. A family meeting is great. My suggestion is talk with your son listen to him you'll probably find he may blame himself for you divorcing.Whatever you do It's not good getting in a screaming match with him. Let him know that you all are prepared to listen to what he has to say and then have your say but keep calm. We tried this and I know my tongue was very sore as I bit it hard. Persist with it though as My son will be 21 this year and he turned his life around we have a great relationship. Maybe you your ex and hubby need to discuss about the playing against each other and try to work on a strategy.
2007-02-21 00:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by ang_23el 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is playing the parents one against the other then the parents are allowing him to do so. Whether you are divorced or not you and his father need to be on the same page when it comes to the children you created together. You all have to sit down and set the rules and STICK TO THEM. Even at 16 kids NEED consistency.
2007-02-21 03:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what i did in this situation was sit down with my ex and his wife we talked about how i wanted the kids disciplined and what The rules should be at both homes at my home they could not say butt dad said and same for his house
then the 3 of us sat down with the kids and talked with them and let them know just how all of it would work and what was not allowed and punishment at one house carried over to the other
as adults and parents you have to put aside all your problems with each other and do whats best for the children you all love them and want the best
good luck
2007-02-21 04:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the adults need to have better communication. After all, he can't play you guys against eachother if you're all on the same team. Sounds like the family meeting is a good idea.
2007-02-20 23:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by a heart so big 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound's like you're doing all you can....you can only do so much then it's up to the kids to either straighten out or not...do your best, thats all you can do and all thats expected...
None of us is super woman...don't try to please everyone. YOU need a life to and deserve one without all the selfishness of the other 'men' in your life (excluding husband #2)..
Take care and I hope everything goes Ok...
[[[ ]]] sending warmth and peace your way..
2007-02-21 00:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋