Do you think I should keep trying to have a baby ?

Question

My husband and I are trying to have a baby but really he is not that interested because he is already 45 and he have to daughter 22 years and 20. Right now we are trying and he is really nice and lovely but each time we have a discussion he takes out that conversation and says that I taking him to the limit and that I am doing with him whatever I want. And really I don't feel comfortable he feeling this way.

Answer 1

DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH THIS MAN.

I repeat:

DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH THIS MAN.

If it is a baby you want, you have married the wrong man. He does NOT want a baby. It is so INCREDIBLY UNFAIR, both to him and the baby, to have a baby with him! You cannot count on "new fatherhood" to suddenly transform him into a goo-goo-gah-gah daddy. He already has 2 grown children and he seems to have pretty clearly told you that HE HAS HAD ENOUGH. If you will not listen to him, please listen to me:

YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT WANT ANY MORE CHILDREN.

Do you really want your child to have a father that never really wanted it? Are you that amazingly selfish? Don't you want your child to have a both a mother AND A FATHER who truly love it, cherish it, and want it?

If you want a baby this badly, then please do the only thing fair to all of you--you, your husband and your child--apologize profusely to this man, divorce him, find another man who can't wait to have children, marry him, THEN MAKE A BABY. All in that order. You've already been incredibly unfair to your husband; don't compound your mistakes by screwing around behind his back, or "accidentally" getting pregnant with him.

And, quite frankly, before you marry again and make a baby, PLEASE, very thoroughly and very honestly assess the reasons why you want a child so badly. If you cannot HONESTLY say that reason #1 is that a child's new life is a joyous gift to the world, and that reason #2 is that you cannot think of a more perfect way to EXPRESS THE DEEP, ABIDING LOVE YOU HAVE FOR THE MAN YOU MARRIED, then you have no right to have a child. Although any mother would throw herself in a fire if it guaranteed the safety of her child, NO mother should put her child ahead of her relationship with her husband. A child needs 2 parents who love each other utterly and completely; this is what truly gives a child security; this is what truly allows a child to grow up into a strong, solid human being.

Now STEP BACK FROM YOURSELF and take a long, hard look at your relationship with your current husband. You have a lot of thinking to do before you even broach this subject with him again. And GET ON BIRTH CONTROL IMMEDIATELY.