Okay, so for the past few weeks I have had all these "signs" that my Period was on its way, or so I thought...I was having bad cramps, my breasts were sore, and I was getting moody, but since it was about 2 months late, I decided to take a pregnancy test...and it was positive. Not a problem right? Except I'm only 19 years old and I just dropped out of college to transfer somewhere else, which I was planning on doing real soon. I live with my boyfriend and we are very much in a serious relationship and always talked about having kids. I wanted to have an abortion at first because I feel like I'm a couple years too young and I'm terrified of the reactions from my Family...however, he WANTS me to have it and it somewhat seems to sicken him when I talk about going to PP and getting an abortion...we talked about it a little more tonight and he started to cry. I know he doesn't want me to have an abortion, and I'm not sure I want to either...but honestly, what should I do?
2007-02-20 13:50:50 · 20 answers · asked by CherryDiVa 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I didn't mean to confuse people, I actually confused myself. To make it clearer, my boyfriend DOES NOT want me to have an abortion.
2007-02-20 13:53:21 · update #1
I know it may be hard to hear, but you need to keep the baby. Its possible to go school pregnant, even to have a baby and continue to go to school. Not to mention that this is not just your baby, but also your boyfriends. I know alot of people may chime in here and say its your body and your decision, but you are in a relationship, and he is part of your life. And therefore part of that childs life. If you can not care for the child, give it up for adoption. There are plenty of couple out there who can't have a baby and would love to adopt an unwanted one. But I would think long and hard about your reasons why you want to abort this new life. If it is simply out of inconvenience to your life, then thats not a good enough reason. You made the decision to have sex, and this is what happens! I wish you blessings and hope you make the right decision.
2007-02-20 14:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by Shayna B 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You both need to see a neutral counsellor, and the sooner the better. Someone who will guide you through this without telling you what you should do. Nobody has the right to dictate to you what should happen, no one has the right to make you feel guilty about whatever choice you make, and no one should make any of the choices sound simple. Don't fool yourself, whatever road you go, it will be difficult. At least for awhile.
They will help you get clear on all your options and make sure that you make the best decision that suits you both. And the decision will be personal, private and very much your own. But remember you do have options, you do have a say. Don't be pressured into anything, either way, because it's you who has to live with this.
You are probably both still in shock, and it's ironic that such highly emotional and far reaching decisions such as these have to be made at a time where you are confused, maybe angry, maybe anxious, certainly under duress and often against the clock. So you near to try and clear your heads and look at thinsg realistically.
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.
2007-02-20 14:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by SydneyMum101 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I know that this is difficult for you to think about right now, but it's definitely something you have to give a lot of thought to. First of all - it's not his decision, whatever you decide. It can be PARTLY his decision, but in the end - it's YOUR body and you make the choice. However, I am definitely against abortion, and if the only reason that you're considering it is because you don't think you can handle a child, then consider adoption. There are people out there who are trying their hardest to conceive, with no luck. There are plenty of people out there who would take the child. Just think about it. I got pregnant with my son when I was married - but it was only 2 months after my wedding day. I didn't think that I was ready for motherhood either, but hey, it worked out. I did fine - I'm a great mother, and I have a wonderful little boy. You can work through everything in your life, and you can make this work out. Having a baby doesn't END your life, it just slows things done. Put some thought into what YOU want, and make a decision. Good luck!
2007-02-20 14:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Megan 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You have to follow your heart on this one. You may be young, but if you get an abortion, can you live with that decision for the rest of your life? I have a friend who did it, and she thinks about her baby every day of her life. If you are not sure, dont do it. Maybe you should go talk to a counselor. I am only 22 and not married, and I just found out I was pregnant. I was extremely worried about telling my parents too-but I did tonight. They took it better than I thought, because they love me and want me happy. Im sure your family only wants you to do what is right for you. You dont have to give up all your dreams to have a baby..I am in college, working, and I am going to have this baby. Sweetie, you and your boyfriend should talk to someone. In the end, you have to follow your heart and make the decision that you can live with. good luck..keep me posted.
2007-02-20 13:56:49 · answer #4 · answered by jill147 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would first make sure you're pregnant. Try the pregnancy test again a few weeks later. If you are, don't jump to abortion. I would definitely have the baby first, then you can decide if you want to keep it or put it up for adoption. If you get an abortion now, you may regret it later. And you never know, maybe you're not too young to raise a child!
2007-02-20 14:00:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is a really tough decision to make and you are the only one who can make it. You need to think about what is best for you and best for the baby ONLY, not worry about what other people think.
If you are already 2 months pregnant you will also have to make up your mind fast.
As a mom who has had children and an abortion I will try and give you some non-biased facts. You should also try to talk to someone like a counselor at a local planned parenthood who can go over all the options for you with facts, not opinions.
First being a parent is VERY hard. I'm sure you've heard it all before but even for someone who wants a baby and is financially able to support one in a great realitionship its hard.
Will you be willing to nurse your child? will you be willing to be waking up 8 times a night to non-stop screaming, are you ready to take care of this child for the next 20 years of your life, are you ready to not go to all the college parties and be at home with your babe, are you ready to buy him healthy food? Are you redy for the possibility down the road your boyfriend and you would break up and would be a single mother? These are all questions you need to ask yourself!!
There are lots of joys to being a mother, and they are all wonderful, but sometimes people make mistakes. You are only human! And sometimes people are just NOT ready to care for a child. Personally I think you will have lots of time for that in the future after your life settles down more.
If you decide you want the child, congrats and good luck, If you dedicate yourself your child will be wonderful and you will enjoy it.
If you decide not to that is perfectly understandable and responsible. At that point you have to decide if you want have the child and put it up for adoption or have an abortion. None of your choices will be easy, you will have regrets no matter what you choose, you just have to weigh the option of what you feel is the BETTER choice.
first both having a baby and abortion has medical risks. I myself had to have a blood transfusion after my son was born because I lots a lot of blood during birth. Really abortions are pretty safe and neither choice will most likely have and medical complications either way.
2. It costs nothing to put a child up for adoption, an abortion cost about $300.00 (insurance doens't cover it) Rasing a child through life (including college) costs about $500,000.
3. The average abortion is done during the first 3 months of life.
4. A fetus has a heart beat by the 5th week of life, but will not have a developed enough nervous system to feel pain until around the 23rd week of life (by the 23rd week it is illegal to have an abortion)
5. the size of the average fetus during the first trimester is the size of a quarter
6. a newborn caucasian infant has the best chance of being adopted.
7. there were over 500,000 children in foster homes waiting to be adopted in the year 2003
8. you may, or may not have contact with your child growing up depending on the form of adoption.
9. if you put your child up for adoption be prepared that You will not be able to spend one more single day for the rest of your life not thinking about your child.
Good luck witho whatever your choice may be.
2007-02-20 14:22:28 · answer #6 · answered by slawsayssss 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your bf is smart. If u both were responsible enough to have sex, then you should be responsible enough to deal with its consequences. I know timing can suck, but you have another 8 months to get yourself prepared. By the time that baby arrives, you'll be so thrilled the thoughts of actually having considered an abortion will be far gone. Be thankful you have a bf, whos happy and ready to help. I think if u stay focus and on track, and do whats right by yourself and your child you'll be able to finish your college, and make something of yourself, even with a baby. Tons of women do it everyday.
2007-02-20 13:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im 19 also and 6 months pregnant, last yr i got pregnant. I freaked got the abortion pill, regreted it suffered a long time and it finally went away when i became pregnant again.
Do not get an abortion, It will stick with you your whole life, always woundering if it was a boy or girl. In better terms you would be killing a potential human being. Your baby could be the next president, doctor to cure aids, who knows if you abort it.
You did the crime no you do the time. Babies should have a choice to live, if there not ready for life you would miscarry for some unexplained reason.
When you go to your doctor and they let you listen to the heart beat you wont abort it. Even at 10 weeks on the ultrasound is amazing, i saw my baby moving bouncing all over the place
And you should be lucky your boyfriend is willing to be with you on this one like mine is with me. Be thankful hes not telling you to get lost like alot of boys do out there.
2007-02-20 13:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by lovesugarkisses 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You are 19 sweetie, if you feel in your heart that you want an abortion - GET ONE. Try the Hail Mary on him - which is - tell him you would love to have a baby with him one day but right now is just not the right time. Make sure he helps you pay for it, if you are on a limited income, DSHS will give you a medical coupon for the procedure. Children are expensive, daycare, formula, toys, clothing - what kind of life will this child have if you have it? Have a child after you have finished school, married a stable partner and are in a 4 bedroom house with a picket fence.
2007-02-20 14:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by Your Mom 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I am sorry but i am against abortion all the way. TO me if you are woman enough to have sex then you ar ewoman enough to carry that baby. I wish that these mothers that have these abortions because "there to young, they cant handle it or whatever"go to a hospital and look at the babies in the NICU see what them parents are going through to have there babies to live. My son was born at 26 weeks and weighed 2 lbs. We had to watch him fight for his life and struggle to live. He was our first child and all we could do was be there and help him fight. A baby is a precious gift. I dont know what i would have done if he hadnt survived but he did and he is almost 10 years old. Be a woman and have your baby. If you cant raise it yourself give it up for adoption. Alot of women would love to be in your shoes because alot of them cant have children.
2007-02-20 17:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by Mommy's Angels 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋