I am the only gay guy on my high school football team. I am a senior and am the starting running back. Many homophobic guys on my team have asked me to quit so that I don't make the team "look bad." I have been attacked and harrassed by both teamates and opponents. I think that the team may also struggle on the field without me, as well (I am very good at football) I feel a commitment to my team, but are my teammates worth putting up with (I am afraid for my own safety)?
2007-02-20 13:49:45 · 14 answers · asked by Andy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Tough choice.
My experience I hated most football team members in high school with very few exceptions.
I guess you have to judge whether you are
a) good enough. If you are good enough, their will to win may overcome their "fear/hatred" of you
b) how much you enjoy the game
c) respect boundaries of the other guys; e.g., fact that it might be understandable they don't want you to see them naked and vice versus.
Tough choice. I'd have said, if you are on a football team, don't come out of the closet.
Good luck with it all.
2007-02-20 13:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if you aren't being attacked or harmed, stick it out. In the long run, a team will appreciate a good player, regardless of his orientation. If you quite because they are uncomfortable, that is a) giving their discomfort more power than it is worth, and b) giving them the false notion that 'the gay guy can't take it.'
I have frequently been the only gay person in many situations. I have learned to let someone else's discomfort be their own discomfort. It is not up to me to fix it, or to make them feel okay. The best thing I can do is to be myself, show up, and do my best.
If, on the other hand, you are being threatened, harassed, or harmed, then I would say yes: leave. Your personal safety is not worth any game. If you are being threatened or harmed, file a complaint with the school, and don't be afraid to be specific about the language that has been used against you and why.
But. I'm hoping the first scenario is what is going on (guys just being uncomfortable) and that you can all work through it.
2007-02-20 13:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by pasdeberet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough question..and really only you can answer it. Do you want to back down to the team and quit? I can perfectly understand it if you do. Who wants to put up with that sh*t? Do you really enjoy playing football? Do you want to stay? Would you stay if there was no harassment?...In any case you don't have to make up your mind right now...BUT never put your personal safety at risk. Principles are principles but they aren't worth getting hurt by some mindless homophobes over.
2007-02-20 13:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ability to play football has nothing to do with being gay. You have shown the team and opponent's your quartiles as player. Your team mates lack the courage to accept you a football player. Stay in there and not let them bully you. Football players gay or straight both put on there jockstraps the same way.
2007-02-20 20:47:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say stay with it. It's pretty pathetic that a team would want to risk having a successful season, just because you are gay. That's an example of a severe case of bigotry. Look, it's your senior year; you should enjoy it and not worry about what others think about you. If you are concerned about your safety, talk to your coach or another staff member that you trust. You shouldn't have to live in fear.
2007-02-20 14:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a good player, and it has nothing to do with who you sleep with or might want to marry sometime. You aren't telling your fellow players who to date and fall for, they shouldn't be telling you. If you like playing your sport, don't quit the team. If things turn threatening, see if the school authorities and, at last resort, police can help protect you. In the worst case scenario, if the team refuses to cooperate with you as a player, leave and go to another team where your talents will be appreciated.
2007-02-20 14:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by roxusan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The coach for one thing needs to know. He's supposed to be leading the team and should be informed of what's going on between the team members. Also, if they're physically attacking you it needs to be reported to administration/parents/police immediately before it gets worse.
2007-02-20 14:03:11 · answer #7 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess this really depends on how the harrassment is affecting you...i mean is the attacking and harrassing bearable? if so, by all means! continue to play football! they'll see you shine on the field and i guess being gay won't matter...its not like being gay is affecting your football skills...if you really think you'll be hurt then maybe you should talk to an adult...but i think you should keep playing football
2007-02-20 14:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by tigerkween623 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're under 18 please have your parents contact the school. That is ILLEGAL what you are being put through & I don't want you to get hurt but it would be a shame for you to give up something you love so much. I'd call the superintendant & threaten a lawsuit if the harassment doesn't stop
2007-02-20 14:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are f**ing on the field, you don't make them look bad. They make the team look bad because they can't imagine a good gay athlete. would you be any safer if you quit.
2007-02-20 13:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by squeegie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋