men who beat on there wifes and then sometimes end up killing them i know alot of people wonder why doesent the wife just leave him but do you all think it is so simple to just kick him out so he can come back and kill you while you sleep or better yet get a restraining order on him which does nothing it's just a peice of paper he will find you beat you then kill you do you all have input on this topic what do you think?
2007-02-20 13:21:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Abusive men choose timid willing women.
The FIRST time he threatens, hits, verbal insults you - you gotta let him have it right back and real hard too.
I've never had a man abuse me, but I've dated men who were abusive to other women - not to me. They knew better. They know I will kick their you-know-what to kingdom come.
You see I do not love any man more than I love ME!
2007-02-20 13:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm currently in this situation now. I have tried everything to get out safely. He has told me recently that I could forget ever getting out of this alive that even if I did manage to get out he would just find me. I think the girl is right when she said that victims of abuse sometimes stay for safety reasons. I know even though I go through hell daily that it would be even worse if I left. I have kids to think about. My worst fear is that he would harm them just to hurt me. He is so controlling he regulates when I can go somewhere and who I talk too. I'm basically home 24/7. I think the only thing he still lets me do is get on the PC.. I have no friends. He barely lets me talk to my family. I guess you have to live in the abuse to truly understand why it is hard for some people to get out. Your right the restraining order is just a piece of paper if they want to find you they will. In regard to one of the comments about falling for a particular type of man my husband wasn't abusive when we dated or when we first got married. You would have thought he was one of the sweetest people you had ever met. I don't know why he changed or what caused it.
2007-02-20 14:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by gasnshngrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the victims ..in these case the wifes..stay in this relationship for safety reasons..though it may sound insane that its a "Safety" reason..since they are being physically, verbally and emotionally abused.. but they think if they escape from all that ..like you said..the husband will eventually come back and hurt her and/or children involved..like killing them,kidnapping .. so they think it is much a safer and better option staying with them in this abusive relationship.
Sometimes they may also hope that they will be able to change this person..or they blame themselves..and think it is their fault they are being abused and that they deserve it...most women that have been through abusive have been brainwashed by their abuser making them feel like they deserved what they got.
Which ofcourse we all know these women did not deserve any of it.
No matter what kind of abuse a woman goes through..it can change your life and personality completely.
And it takes alot of time of healing.
2007-02-20 13:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man for 15yrs that was mentally and phyiscally abusive and i had finally had enough when he hit me on the head with a ceramic vase in front of my daughter at the age of 8yrs old. she was screaming and i crying and i realized it was time to stop this. with my parents assuring me that they would help me financially til i got on my feet, i left him and it was this best choice i ever made. he was also a control freak so when i left him i had no friends and he at one time had me convinced that my own family didnt love me. told me not to trust anyone ! that everyone wants to see you do bad. every woman out there should never put up with that kind of abuse! it was kinda scary at first being on my own but after a few weeks it started sinking in that i didnt have to ask permiision any more to go somewhere and then not get chewed out for not being back on time. my kids and i could spend a whole week out of town and not have to worry about the consequences when we got home. i stayed single for 9yrs, made friends with males and females ,went places i had never been before and it has been great! there is no need staying miserable all yur life! you only live life once ! You might as well be happy doing it!
2007-02-20 13:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by shannon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spousal abuse is extremely complicated and weird. As an outsider its seems obvious what the answers are as you have selled out in your question. IN virtually all cases of abuse, the victim comes to firmly believe that they have brought this on themselves and even deserve it. At this point it's hard to tell who has the bigger problem. My ex had a rule that she told me on our first date, as a general rules of engagement speech that she gave to all of her suiters. it was very short and to the point, simply " you hit me once, it'll be the last time you hit anybody".
I'm a very gentle sole, I hate even swatting flies, but I still am pretty impressed with how she laid that issue on the table right from the get go. We split because we drifted apart in our interests until we didn't even know each other anymore.
2007-02-20 13:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by al b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those who beat on there wifes...must have seen dat from their parents and seen the mother not do n e thing..so he figured it was okay....Many who abuse their spouse obviously has no sense of right and wrong...Its the same to them...But i've seen abusive relationships change so mayb if guy want help and females aren't scared to get help they'll b doom
2007-02-20 13:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're right...its a difficult one....men who beat their wives tend to get more and more aggressive the more you involve police and authorities....i guess i would think carefully about moving to another area and leaving no trail so he cant find me....im talking lifethreatening situation here...no keeping contact with mutual friends who would inform him of my whereabouts and make sure your closest friends and family know where you are all the time incase you need help....
2007-02-20 13:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by Jia K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in this situation i agree with u, i got a restraining order on him and it scared him away, he continued to call me and beg 4 me to come back but he stopped coming to my job and family house and stuff. but i feel that the woman should get out as soon as she can but in a safe way.
2007-02-20 13:29:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
women who are with these type of men fall for these types of personalities aggressive alpha male types and when a relationship gets serious they wonder why they get beat down, its ridiculous
2007-02-20 13:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋