I watch my fiance's son for him two nights a week and now he's asking me to watch him more, do he can pursue other activities (Not work related or that he HAS to be there for). I don't want to do more than what I'm all ready doing because I feel I'm here alone with him enough as it is, without feeling very appreciated for it. He is an older kid, just not mature enough to be alone, so it's not like I'm changing diapers and chasing him around, but it still just feels like twice a week is enough. I want to be a lover and partner, not a babysitter, but he's really angry at me about this which leaves me feeling sad and misunderstood. What would you do in my situation?
2007-02-20 12:04:57 · 17 answers · asked by wellbeing 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, I definitely do not think you are selfish. On the contrary.
You have been absolutely self-less and kind.
Calmly explain your feelings to your fiance.
Your point of view actually shows that you care about him and you want to spend time with him. You havebeen very kind to take care of his son, but as you say, if he's old enough to be a bit more independant I think you should express that to your fiance.
I think that if you explain the situation calmly and honestly, putting the emphasis on the fact that you wish to spend with him more, it should be alright.
After all, this is a serious relationship, he is your fiance. he will understand. That's what I think.
Best of luck.
2007-02-20 12:11:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
in some parts i can understand why you would want some time alone but still this is your fiance, and this will be your kid soon, so you might wanna get used to it. Sometimes with relationships you gotta suck it up and do it for the one you love. Just say to your partner that he should give you a massage when he gets home or somethin like that
2007-02-20 12:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say you were selfish hell he aint your baby. In a relationship you are expected to give a little and take a little and I fell you are giving just enough of yourself at this point in your relationship. You watch the child twice a week so he can have his time to do whatever it is he does so if he feels he needs more time to himself hell hire a babysitter and have him to start paying for it and I bet whatever it was that was so important for him to do won't be that important anymore. You have to set the foundation for your marriage and if you allow him to demand so much of your time to his child now just wait till you say I Do and see what happens. Try and explain your side to him calmy and see where it goes and always in these types of situations prayer always works. Good Luck
2007-02-20 12:13:26 · answer #3 · answered by CoCo Chanel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not feeling warm & fuzzy about this.
What does he want you for?
This will only worsen once you get married. If he's angry about this he's not being fair.
I would end the relationship. I know easier said than done. I'm worried that your needs are not being met. You need respect & appreciation.
Besides are you planning to have chuldren? What then?
Get out of this.........
I
2007-02-20 12:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by ♣Hey jude♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have to do your own things also, at most you should split the time 50/50. Also, you should realise your going to be the kids mother, dont let the kid hear you arguing about him. Also, dont do it if it cuts into your time. If he isnt going to be understanding abotu your feelings, it may carry onto the marraige, and maybe he isnt the one for you.
2007-02-20 12:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish, tell him you are not cut out to be a full time baby setter and that he should start looking for another setter as of now because your price for baby setting has just trippled.
2007-02-20 12:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that you will be a step-mother if you get married and therefore you will not be BABYSITTING you will be spending time with your step son. You should enjoy spending time with him anyways or maybe think about finding a single (no kids) man.
2007-02-20 12:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you're being selfish at all. You need to talk to your man about this because he shouldnt expect that you will do it all the time. maybe this is his way of keeping you on check.
2007-02-20 12:12:26 · answer #8 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You let him know what a couple of your needs are. Now its up to him; the ball is in his court...as if you've got nothing to do...the nerve of him trying to set me up to be the boy's momma...oooh, that makes me simmer!..
2007-02-20 12:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by TzodEarf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A shellfish is bottom dwelling seafood, usually either a bivalve or a crustacean.
2007-02-20 12:08:26 · answer #10 · answered by CensorMan4 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋