My fiance is pregnant..about 11 weeks along, and she doesn't want any kind of affection whatsoever. When we first got togeter we were like rabbits, like most couples, and like most couples it slowly declined to once in a while here and there, but now she is pregnant, she doesn't want any hugs or kisses or any cuddling or rubbing, or even hand holding. I feel really distant from her now and we have almost broken up over this, I asked her if it is because she is pregnant and he says she doesn't know. Has anyone else gone through this? Most things I read say to give your pregnant wife/girlfriend more affection than usual, I just want some reassurance that it is her hormones and her changing body that makes her like this and not her losing complete interest in me, but she is so sick and tired she wont give me that reassurance.
2007-02-20 11:46:56 · 13 answers · asked by jorge n 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Its hormonal - try not to take it personally. In my first trimester (up to 12wks) the only thing i wanted from my fiance was for him to be far far away from me. I hated the constant attention and affection from him (like you though.. he read it in one of the pregnancy books we have). I just wanted to be left alone so i could be miserable and feel sorry for myself - him being around constantly just annoyed me in a big way! lol.
Don't worry though - in the first half of trimester 2 my fiance and i were back to being "like rabbits" (as you said! lol) so, for the guy, there are some good times to look forward to! Lol. Unfortunately though the hormones will probably play a part through out the whole pregnancy.
I know it must be hard but try not to take it too personally - she's just dealing with all the changes and stuff that come with pregnancy.
Its the hormones .. not you :)
2007-02-20 12:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by Smiley One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its normal with my first pregnancy there were lots of times i didnt want to be touch almost my whole pregnancy i refused to let my husband sleep with his arms around me it was uncomfortable some women are just more prone to hormonal changes then others im one of them and i can honestly say its the hormones be paitent give her space when she wants it but if she never seems to want anything to do with you ever even when shes her most high spirited it may be another problem you guys will have to deal with but dont break up over this you need to give it time remember a babys coming and its gonna bring many changes good and some not so good or at least it will seem,but when they are here it changes everything you feel.
2007-02-20 11:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by Beautiful Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first trimester of pregnancy is tough for some women it feels like you have the flu but cant take anything for it your body aches your tired you feel sick ,smells and things make you want to puke all the time and then your emotions are all out of whack and so you feel off just not like your self and this can be confusing and scary you need to stay strong and realize right now the support she needs maybe a kind word or getting her a water glass when she is throwing up or getting her ice chips to suck on when her tummy hurts or just reminding her you love her and as hard as it is just don't worry about the hugs and kisses those will come back once she doesn't feel like a alien is inside of her hang in there!
2007-02-20 12:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might feel as though she is unattractive to you at this time. Also, her hormones are having ups and downs, and it's normal for her to feel a little depressed at times. She's going through alot of changes at this time. Just hang in there. I doubt that she would change her feelings about you just because of being pregnant. Try to be patient. A little further along, and she might have a hormone swing the opposite direction, and won't be able to get enough of you!
2007-02-20 11:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im at 32 weeks right now...i cant speak for her but i would tell you to try and not let it upset you so much. through out this entire pregnancy the thought of being sexual just upsets me and sometimes even gets me pretty angry. as for the hugs and kisses and commen loving the advice i would give to my boyfriend on that is to just pay close attention to my mood for the most part i just wanted to be left alone but there are those times that inside i really did need him to be there...its going to be tough to make the call, as she gets farther along she'll lighten up a little bit...but focus more on the "family" and be excited and loving towards her that way not just because its been 6 months since you got any lol. i dont know this is all new to me to so i wish her and you the best.
2007-02-20 13:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by Erin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is hard I was the same way with my guy.The beginning of pregnancy is like this for most.As hard as it is I can assure you that it is totally the pregnancy.Hormones are hell.They just take over the body and sometimes we don't know why we feel the way we do at times.Just try to understand.Be there for her and tell her everything is going to be ok.Tell her that she is beautiful everyday.Eventually her body Will get used to the hormones and she won't be so edgy all the time.I wish there was a way to for you to totally understand.You guys will get through it.Remember she won't be pregnant forever.Congrats and good luck!!!!
2007-02-20 11:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by lady2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the poor girl alone! Haven't you done enough to her already? You, you man you! LOL
Give her time. Hormonal changes. Listen, she needs your support. She is HAVING a baby, so she doesn't need you to be one, ok? You need to reassure her.
Why don't you marry her now? Perhaps having a child out of wedlock is a disappointment to her and her parents. That's enough to make anyone not feel amorous. She may want the reassurance that you really are committed to her. PUT A RING ON HER FINGER MAN! Wisk her off to Vegas! Tell her you can't wait another day to be her husband.
2007-02-20 11:55:46 · answer #7 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she has morning sickness, that is your answer right there. When you feel tired, sick and feel like crap you don't feel like doing anything, let alone trying to comfort your partner!
You feel like you are never going to feel normal again. And then add the hormones on top of that, it is really not nice. I actually snapped at one of my friends during that sick period because she mentioned she 'might' buy a leather jacket that I had had my eye on for a while. In hindsight she must have thought I was a real idiot! And I felt like one too.
She can't help her feelings at the moment. Think what you feel like when you are sick. Just give her some space, tell her you are there for whatever she needs and try and pamper her a bit. I find the best cure for morning sickness is to try and ignore it and get on with it.
2007-02-20 11:53:53 · answer #8 · answered by Kylie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of hormonal changes going on... Women are weird neurochemical melting pots, my friend...
Two possibilities: if the baby is yours, she will soon want to have affection and sex, even while pregnant, after a short while.
If you love this woman, and don't want to lose her, give her constant affection and support, and give her only what she asks or can stand from you... Soon enough, it will be your turn to cash in this "transactional relationship", if you will be married...
2007-02-20 11:56:06 · answer #9 · answered by clank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every woman's pregnancy is different. So she might just be having severe mood swings now. There were days I didn't want people to even talk to me. So she just might need some space. Let her know that you're there for her if she needs you but let her have some room to breathe. It's hard standing by and not doing anything but it's the best thing you can do
2007-02-20 11:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by Kim 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋