My son and daughter think it is their right to live their lives as they wish and don't want me to keep asking them to help me or ask them how to do things. I have no money to hire people and if I need to ask how to do something, who do I ask? I'm supposed to figure that out and not bother them.
2007-02-20 10:49:17 · 7 answers · asked by ? 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's the problem with today's society. People are so selfish that they will not lift a finger to help their parents. I know not all people are like this, but it is an increasing problem. They forget it's the parents who gave them life, and sacrificed so much, just so that they could be happy. They just want to take not give.
2007-02-20 12:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by Shorty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad - I would NEVER treat my parents or my husband's parents like they are a bother - how disrespectful!! I don't think it's wrong to expect help from your kids. I mean if you are unreasonable and demanding then that might be a problem - but even still - you're their Mom - there are times when we aren't able to help as much as we'd like to (we have 3 school age children), but we do what we can - for example, we recently had a big snow storm, my Mother-in-law lives alone, we weren't able to shovel her drive for her, so instead I paid someone to go plow it.
You want to know who to ask for help - are you involved in a church? Our church is like a second family - we help each other out all the time, maybe you could get plugged into a nice church that respects and cares for it's elders.
2007-02-20 19:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is their right to live without your interference, its one thing if you call on them occasionally but if its an everyday occurrence than you need professional help for living at home. Call a social services agency that specializes in the elderly, they can help you to be more independent and put you in touch with agencies that may help you negotiate with your kids as to how much help and support you need. It sounds as if you are lonely and looking to your children for a social network, if you aren't incapacitated then start going out to do charity work or take art lessons, do something so you aren't so dependent on them. They will appreciate you much more when its a matter of choice and not demand.
2007-02-20 18:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. I'm65,getting up there ,but my children have absolutely no obligation to assist me as I become more dependent on others.Hell, there is medicare social security;granted it's not a lot but we 're not goin' to freeze Look we brought these people into the world raised them and taught them to take care of themselves. That's what it's all about.
You won't find a bear or any other animal coming back and saying,"Mom, this cave is too old.Let me find a more comfortable one,something a little smaller.While I'm at it ,let me raid a campsite and get ya peanut butter.You're looking a little shaggy mom, but what the hell your my mom.Have ya heard from dad?"
2007-02-20 19:37:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Times have changed there are still people who care for their parents but most I think are selfish like yours who want to forget you. They would stick you in a home and want your house for themselves. It is the way of the UK now where people only care for themselves.
My wife is from the Philippines and they still care for their parents usually in their own homes but if they cannot cope their they will move into their childrens homes.
I am sad for yopur situation. I'm only 52 but my son just wants my house and I could not live with him because he can only stand me for 3 days maximum, yet he says he loves me. My two girls just ignore me.
I hope something sorts itself out for you. We give so much to our children and many of us get nothing back when we need it in later life. However they may have a change of view when they get older.
2007-02-20 18:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Older people shouldn't have to expect their kids to help. The children should be more than happy to lend a hand. Your son and daughter are selfish, and should be ashamed of themselves. If they needed help, they would be on your door step. I'm glad my kids are not that way. Good luck to you.
2007-02-20 19:02:44 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea .. they dint bare us or make us they dint ask to be born we made them be born we bought them in the world i wouldnt think of it .. if they wanted to help let them do it from love and on their own accord.your kids are grown then leave them to thier lives now you had yours and keep it yours.. i know what your saying but it will cause problems and resentment.. dont ask you werent to specific here. if you need a driveway plowed of snow or a furnace filter changed perhaps then yea they can help ..
2007-02-20 18:56:59 · answer #7 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋