he is going to try to get our baby to get back at me for getting pregnant you know like it is my fault. He dose not want nothing to do with the pregnancy right now because he says that i can not prove that it is his. Tell me what to do cause he is talking about hiring the best lawyers and i can't aford to do that i am only 16 and he is 19 making 500 a week and i don't work?????????????? HELP
2007-02-20 10:46:39 · 17 answers · asked by Samantha M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Unless he can prove that you are an unfit mother then you have nothing to worry about. You are 16 years old, your just a kid, but it's time for you to grow up and handle this like an adult. You can consult a lawyer for free and ask him or her their expert opinion. Good luck and take care of yourself and your baby!
2007-02-20 10:50:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all....breathe and relax! You don't need to be stressed out at the moment....
To start with, if he is unsure if he is the father, why does he care so much? Also, there is NOTHING he can do until the baby actually arrives and is healthy & happy enough to go through a paternity test!
Secondly.....earning $500 a week is NOT going to get him the best lawyers around, they'd probably charge him that much in the first 15 mins.
Also - do your parents know that you are expecting? Have you spoken to them about what's going on with the father? If not, maybe you should!
Thirdly - unless you are the world's most horrible mother (which I am sure you won't be!) he won't be able to get the baby taken off you any time soon after it arrives....
Just wait and see how things turn out! I'm sure he'll come around once the baby arrives - but in case he doesn't - call up the Family Support helpline to get some professional advice. They are more than happy to help you out!
Good luck! :)
2007-02-20 11:06:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others here ... first of all, if you are capable of taking care of a baby, then the MOST the courts will do is allow the two of you joint custody. And they will definitely take into consideration the fact that he is not being there for you right now.
And as others have said, $500 a week is NOT a lot of money. I know it seems like it at 16, but when you have rent/mortgage, car payments, groceries, other bills, etc., it is gone FAST! And "the best lawyers" charge a few hundred bucks AN HOUR ... so I seriously doubt he is going to be bringing in the big guns.
2007-02-20 11:23:18 · answer #3 · answered by sanveann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just talking trash. Trust me, if he couldn't afford a condom, he can't afford a lawyer. Anyway, $500. a week isn't enough to hire a paralegal. You don't even have to claim to know this guy. If he finds some way to hire a lawyer make him spend every penny of that $500. over and over filing motions to order a paternity test. Don't cooperate. Possession is 9/10's of the law and guess what, you've got the baby inside you!
Sorry you're pregnant at 16. Hope you have family support. Please finish your education.
BTW: You will have to establish paternity to collect child support , so consider that and what the others said about fitness AND statutory rape. The jerk should not be upsetting you while you are pregnant.
2007-02-20 10:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The court will provide you with a lawyer if you need to fight for custody. If he loses, he will have to pay the court expenses for you. Money and age will not be a deciding factor because there are so many programs out there to help young mothers. 19 is not old, and 500 a week will not hire Jonny Cochran. He is just mad and scared and bluffing. If anything, since he is not a part of the pregnancy he can't sign the birth certificate at birth, so you can put whomever as the father, or unknown. Lastly, if you file before him, he will also have to pay child support especially since you are too young to provide for the child. The courts favor the mother, and as long as you are not a heroin/meth addict or homeless, you really shouldn't worry.
2007-02-20 10:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just trying to scare you. Unless the courts found you were an incapable mother / abused the child then custody would not be granted to him. He can hire whatever lawyer he wants but if he can't prove you are incapable then they won't move baby.
Its a good thing he has a job - he'll be needing it to pay you child support.
Try not to stress - you do right by you and your baby. Have you figured out how you are going to support yourself and your child? Do you have a good support network with your family and friends? Concentrate on these things - NOT a vindictive boyfriend.
Good luck
2007-02-20 10:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by Smiley One 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ask your parents for help? You might want to find a single mom's counceling center. We have one in our area, and they will offer you free legal advice. He is trying to scare you. Right now the best thing you can do is document every phone call with conversation details, Dr. Appointments that he has missed. Save any voicemail recordings that will help you in your case. Don't stress. He would have to prove you to be an unfit mother. I am a sigle 28 year old mother. It is not easy, and I feel for you. Please, stay in school and make sure you ALWAYS put your child first. You will have to learn to sacrifice many things in your life, but it is all worth it. Oh, and another thing....$500. a week will NOT buy him tyhe best lawyers out there. He is just trying to intimidate you.
2007-02-20 10:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by littlemonkeytoez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, he doesn't want anything to do with the pregnancy, but wants the baby at the end of it?
If he is earning only 500 a week, he cannot afford the best lawyers either.
If you really fear for your baby, get the police involved, make them aware of his threats to illegally take your child from you and get an injuction out aginst him.
It looks like it's time to stay with mom and dad to keep him away from you as well.
2007-02-20 10:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he will have to prove you are an unfit mother? So as long as you love your child, take care of it and act responsibly (not leaving your child for you to party, not doing drugs or drinking) and if you have a stable home you should be fine. He will probably get every other weekend with the child and some holidays and you will be awarded child support. He will also be required to carry the child on insurance. Keep your head up you will be fine sweetie. Congrats and best wishes!
2007-02-20 10:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by J&A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear if he wants nothing to do with ur pregnancy, the courts will take that into consideration and the judge will agree that a child belongs with the birth mother!! If he isnt involved or interested in ur unborn child now then he will probably never be...If he is serious about getting a lawyer then he would have gotten one already instead of telling you that hes going to get one!!!
dont worry baby girl, things will fall into place
2007-02-20 11:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by lisa h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋