About a 3 months ago my husband and I decided that we need to get a joint account and pay our bills and other expenses jointly (we're newly married). He knows he has trouble spending, and so we decided it would be best if I handle the finances. The problem is that he is still over-spening the limits, so much that the bills get paid, but their is no money left over for groceries. This month he's spent over 1600 on a paintball gun and a xbox 360. He says to relax and that we can cover the groceries with the overdraft, but i absolutely hate being in debt when it's because of frivolous spending....btw we both work full time jobs. He's a spender, i'm a saver....what can we do to make this work?
2007-02-20 08:41:17 · 12 answers · asked by bluearia 3 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
He needs to have his own account and NO access to your joint account. You tell him each payday how much his half of the bills, groceries, etc are and he can give you that ON PAYDAY, and then he has what he has left over.
Get him an account iwth NO OVERDRAFT on it. He's just plain stupid if he thinks paying $40 a paycheck for an overdraft fee is a smart plan (no offense-- I've done it before so I'm yelling at myself too!)
He needs to write down his goals and what he wants from life and you need to show him how ridiculous spending isn't fitting that plan. You're supposed to have a partnership here. Have him write down what he wants for his next purchases and you can figure that into a budget-- but no willy-nilly spending. It's not fair to you!
2007-02-20 08:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most employers allow your paycheck to go in through direct deposit, and you can split up the paycheck in more than one account. I would suggest that you ask him to change his direct deposit so that a certain amount goes into the joint account every time he gets paid. This way you can make sure that his share of the bills are covered. The balance of his paycheck can be deposited in his own account and spent on whatever he wants.
In addition, you might want to consider getting rid of the overdraft, just so he won't be tempted to use it. Also, if there's no money to buy groceries, you should let him starve. If you don't pay your bills, you don't eat - it's that simple. He's a married man now with responsibilities. He needs to grow up - why does a grown married man need a paintball gun?
2007-02-20 16:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When spending money on anything, I always ask myself if this is a "need" or a "want". Your husband has to be able to face this question when buying things like paintball guns and video game systems, especially if the purchase is going to put you in debt. I would seriously consider having separate accounts if he isn't able to make this distinction. If you are going to share an account, and he is unable or unwilling to separate the "needs" from the "wants", then have him use a set amount of cash per week for whatever he needs, and insist that you hang onto the credit card(s)/bank card(s) for the greater good of your marriage. Nothing is worse than fighting about money and financial security. You both deserve to focus on other things and not have this looming over you all the time. Best of luck.
2007-02-20 20:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by NN 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys have money problems, but you have a serious marriage problem at the root of this all. I suggest you find a good marriage conselor & a good financial (NOT CREDIT) conselor (yesterday). You have to reslove these trust issues. If you guys make a budget & he blows it, it does no good to have made the budget in the first place. My sis's hubby did the same stuff when they were newly married @ 16 & 17 w/a baby & 1 in the oven. Nearly caused a divorce when he bought a Nintendo w/the grocery money.
Dave Ramsey has endorsed financial & marriage counselor info. on his website (below). His "Total Money Makeover" book is also awesome. We have been following it for over 2 yrs & are totally passed all the money hassles we had early in our marriage. Best wishes for your new life together!
2007-02-20 17:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by Ryah B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an urgent discussion you and your hubby must have, and he must take this seriously.
My partner overspent so much, and now he's got himself a 20,000 dollar debt. It's just too easy to go to overdraft. Lower the limit on how much can be taken out of your joint account daily. Get rid of the credit cards. There is no need to live in debt with two full time incomes. Hopefully you can work this out. Financial problems often get in the way of happy marriages. Fix this immediately!! If you want to, consider speaking to a financial advisor.
2007-02-20 16:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you should each keep a list of all the money you spend to see where it's going. Then set up a budget. In the budget you should include spending money for each of you. If it's $100 each per month then that's it. When there is something expensive that he wants like a paint gun then he should save his money until he gets enough. The best way to save for something like that is envelopes. On the front of the envelope write the item and amount it costs. Each month put in $10-$20 out of your spending money into the envelope until you get to your desired amount. You could do this with several envelopes with other things you want. The other good part about doing this is it will give him time to think if he really needs that particular item. By the time he saves up the money for it if he still wants it then it's a great buy.
2007-02-20 17:52:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to close the joint account. You will be legally responsible for those bills and over drafts. Do you want to end up in jail for writng bad checks?
He will have to agree to have an allowance or you will wind up in bankruptcy. 12 year olds would buy a video game system and not worry about buying groceries. Sometimes overspending is a sign of depression. Either he's immature or depressed.
I feel for you. Please talk with someone. Unless he changes I foresee severe financial problems.
2007-02-20 16:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by professorc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to control those types of people and many times they just get angry when you try to do anything about it. I guess you could threaten to do away with the joint account and get your own again if he doesn't change his ways. Remind him that you both decided that you were going to be the one to handle the finances.
2007-02-20 16:46:00 · answer #8 · answered by Smiles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. My ex-husband nearly drowned me in debt and it is one of the main reasons we divorced. My best advice to you as a newly married responsible partner is to not let yourself be put in the position of being the gatekeeper. Perhaps seeking outside help with your finances from a consultant, bank manager, one of your parents, any one trusted whose authority you both can respect will work. I can tell you it's horrible to be in debt and even more horrible to have your partner resent you for trying not to be. Best of luck!
2007-02-20 16:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by dogtownbetty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please read this article: 9 ways to rein in a spendthrift spouse
Nothing complicates money like love. You can change your free-spending partner's ways -- and do it without landing in a lawyer's office.
By Liz Pulliam Weston
If you're concerned about an overspending spouse, you don't need to hear any more clichés about how money problems are a leading cause of marital unhappiness. You're living proof....
continued here: http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/LoveAndMoney/9waysToReinInASpendthriftSpouse.aspx
2007-02-20 17:12:33 · answer #10 · answered by zander1331 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋