My husband is a compulsive liar.(not only to me but his friends) He has hurt me many times with his lying and it came to me almost leaving last year. He swore he would never lie to me again and I was almost convinced he had stopped. I recently found out not only has he lied to me again about a few things but also to his friends. My question is should I try to trust him again or confront him and tell him he really needs professional help(which he refuses to do)?This has been an issue for years and it tears me up inside.
2007-02-20 08:21:18 · 14 answers · asked by confused one 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know he lies but his friends don't. Once in a while he gets tripped up on a lie but I don't feel it's my place to tell them different.
2007-02-20 08:33:10 · update #1
Well, it seems like you've been there for him and given him many more than a second chance. I think it's time you talk to him about getting help because it looks like he either doesn't want to stop lying or can't.
2007-02-20 08:24:37 · answer #1 · answered by EvilLaughingLeprachaun08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving will be the easy way out. Try to get help from a professional is the only Way I think of to help. Trust is the most impotent part of a relationship.
2007-02-20 16:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by chipton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How on earth have you been putting up with his behavior so far? You must be a very strong woman and loved your husband very much.
Confront him and tell him he needs professional help. You would need a much deserved rest after the stress i could only imagine you have been under. - its so easy to say leave from an outsiders point of view. But i think you should give him that choice.
Get help or GO!
imagine your life with someone whom you trust 100%. How wonderful that would be. you deserve it.
2007-02-20 16:33:53 · answer #3 · answered by Aussie_chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm really truly sorry to hear this. your husband should get hi=elp,. he obviously has no intention of stopping. and if he REALLY did want to stop, he would agree to get help. confront him and tell him how you feel. if he says sorry and says he'll never lie again, tell him how much you were hurt last time and if you do it again you will arrange help. tell him you think it would only be the best and would be helpful to both of you. and again, if he cares about your relationship and really wants to change, he will agree to get help. i would suggest relationship therapy, or whatever you think best. I hope this helps! i'm sorry you're in this situation, and if you feel comfortable to talk to your friends that he has been lying to also, get together with them and maybe just talk and offer suggestions about where you think your husband should go and see if they have any ideas. hope this helps you!
2007-02-20 16:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave him. As a recovering compulsive liar like him I know that even with professional help, unless he decides to change himself he won't change. It has a lot to do with his unwillingness to accept an ordinary life and wanting something better. He is not content with his life and what he has. The only way he will change is if you leave and he realizes that it is his dishonesty that caused you to leave. Both of you will be better off.
2007-02-20 16:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by Komic Kaze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry to here that i say if he keeps lieing to u n his friends then ya"ll desirve better then that no body should b lied to i know it would hurt me a lot if i was lied to by my husband girl u dont need that kind of stuff u need someone that will treat u right n not do u worng i just saying
2007-02-20 16:27:57 · answer #6 · answered by mltnmsty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him tell him unless he gets help you are gone,or he has to go you cant live like this can you? a relationship is based on trust and if you cant trust him what is the point,i feel for you and hope you can sort your life out so that you can be happy.
2007-02-20 16:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by lynda w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately he's not going to change. Guess you already know that, but you're still not ready to face what you have to do. Time has a way of taking care of things. Whenever you're ready, you will go on without him, or stay with him the way he is. That's reality, and you will face it when you are ready.
2007-02-20 16:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by JAK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is lying about serious things then you definately should seek professional help.and if he isn't lying about big things its not on the right track bc it could get worse so you should still seek help. maybe if you see someone you could convince him that its not something degrading that you are willing to help him throught his. but i don't think just telling him you are going to trust him everytime he says he won't do it again is good for you, him or your relationship.
2007-02-20 16:25:01 · answer #9 · answered by parveeahmed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a habitual liar, dump the chump. You don't need to learn to trust, you need to leave and find someone WORTHY of trust.
The real question is . . . how and why did you get messed up with this moron in the first place??
2007-02-20 16:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by Lonnie P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can I say??? you're tired, you're going to get even more tired then you'll just realise & get rid....cause nothings gonna change, that's for sure....you'll be ready when your ready.
Sweetie....you can't trust that which doesn't want to be trusted.
I'm sorry.....
2007-02-20 16:26:51 · answer #11 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋