Is it my fault or hers??

Question

Me & one of my closest friends had a falling out.
this probubly sounds petty but we are only teens so it is.
she ditched me when i asked her to go shopping with me. then the next day i was going to see my nan who i havnt seen for 3 months but my friend invited me to go & see her.
& at the moment i feel there the most important people in my life (friends) & i dont no why. but so i didnt see my nan... i went to see my friend & then she said oh sorry i cant come out today because im grounded. she didnt call me or even try telling me when we had 3 hours before i had to leave.
so i was stuck in town... on my own.
she now is blaming it on me.
but im sure its more her fault for us falling out.
plz help i really dont know!
because right now i dont feel in the wrong.

Answer 1

Really, whose fault it is doesn't matter. What matters is that you're relationship with your friend is now on the outs. Instead of trying to figure out who was at wrong, try to figure out how it wont happen again. To me it was more about a lack of communication between the two of you then her out to make you spend the day alone. I would vocally express to her your feelings on it (which I'm sure you've already done) and tell her why it made you feel that way. If you feel she tainted your trust in her, don't allow it to happen again. Next time she invites you to do something, don't invest in it unless you know for sure she is committed to those plans. I'm not sure of the exact situation, but perhaps she got grounded right before you came... which in that case, she didn't have much control over the situation. If she had found out a while before you showed up, then I think you do have the right to be upset that she didn't bother letting you know -especially after ditching you just prior. If you two are true friends then this is going to be just a hurdle to get over and more importantly -a learning situation. Few people can know exactly what makes someone upset, mad, irritated, etc .. without having those prior learning experiences to fall back on. If this has happened before, then perhaps she didn't "get it' the first time. If it hasn't happened before.. cut her a break and expect the same from her. True friends are hard to find... don't allow something .. as YOU said "petty" ruin it if there's more to love in the friendship than there is to hate.

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

You really don't have to worry about who was right in this circumstance. Just make sure that you guys talk about it. Tell her you really appreciate advance notice, and also give her a chance to explain herself and what she wants from you.

Also, make sure you visit your nan soon, it was pretty rude of you to blow her off. In fact, you did to her exactly what your friend did to you. So you really can't put the blame on her when you were doing the same thing.

In conclusion: grow up and get over it. If you two are good friends it shouldn't be a problem. And in the future, don't blow off your family for flaky friends.

Answer 3

The problem here is in the question - try not to think about whose 'fault' it is when there is a problem. Just accept that something went wrong, there was a misunderstanding, someone forgot - whatever - we're all human, we all make mistakes, we can all forget our friends when something else is going on! I would suggest just asking her to let you know next time she can't make a prearranged meeting, and promise to do the same for her.

Answer 4

She is in the wrong, she let you down on two separate days.
However you should learn from this. Friends are important but so are your family. In future if you make arrangements to see your nan or anyone else don't just drop them because your pal says so.
It is all part of growing up, living and learning.
Make it up with your friend but learn from this experience not to rely on her so much.

Answer 5

It is common sense for you to blame her in feeling bad for skipping out on your nan. Because i would feel awful too, if i compromised seeing my aging grandmother that i loved, for a flaky, bitchy friend that has no manners or courtesy at all. But in all honesty, I think it is your FRIEND'S FAULT. She should've called earlier and said she couldn't hang out....AGAIN. Leave her out of your life, go visit your nan, and if she calls you...dont answer. Or you can answer and be like "I dont need flaky bitchy friends that ditch me when i need them, yet will use ME for your entertainment or amusement when you've got nothing better to do. *click*"

Answer 6

Your friend is very thoughtless. You know this now, so do your best to restore the friendship and next time - call first no matter what plans you've made and make sure you have a back up plan when she ditches you.

Answer 7

What are you attempting to blame everybody about? that you didnt know, or that she didnt opt for to cheat on him? I dont see how something is anyones fault- Hes mad at her cuz he beloved her and she replaced right into a ***** to him, yet you've been his next decision and he probable wont the mistakes of liking her back, so merely sense free your with him, yet beware cuz if their talking, perhaps he does like her??

Answer 8

take my advise and stick with your Nan,she would never ditch you.Friends are ten a penny but you only have two Nan's.Just leave her if she is a true friend she will be back for you-or better still find a new friend, she will soon be back.Good Luck .

Answer 9

there are always two sides to the story but if your side is as truthful as it sounds then no way your in the wrong maybe your friend really not your friend b/c what she did is selfish and you should let her know how you feel then maybe she will see that she indeed was the one in fault

Answer 10

It's called projection. As long as she makes you feel wrong, guilty what ever, then she can kid her self that she's right. Negating her own guilt. My brother does this all the time. Just stand firm and she'll get the message it doesn't work like that.