I'm the nice girl, struggling to put my foot down. I speak my mind, but I don't get what I want. It's hard pin pointing what I want a lot of the time.
2007-02-20 07:49:57 · 32 answers · asked by Mami_Cita427 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
that has nothing to do with selfishness. selfishness is bad. you don't really want to be selfish. you just have to ask yourself more, "what do i want, how much do i want it?" et cetera
2007-02-20 07:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by J L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't want to be more selfish darlin, what you want is to be more assertive.
That takes learning in life to come about.
When you speak your mind, then stand by your words, how you go about doing that is not something I can tell a woman. I could teach a man as I am one; but a woman? You will have to go to a woman you know personally. One that is paid attention to. A woman who is a successful woman. Ask her! There you can gain a lot of information first hand and you can model yourself on the woman's advice to be more assertive.
Trust a woman who is successful to teach you.
That is how you will become more assertive, there she will teach you how to be "the woman who is heard" rather than the girl who cannot get what she wants.
I hope there is someone you know who can tutor you in the amazing possibilities of a woman's strength. I wish you well.
2007-02-20 08:55:31 · answer #2 · answered by the old dog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take care of you, but don't lose you. You sound like you are truly a nice girl and don't need to be selfish. The question you should ask yourself is, what do you perceive as selfish. Find your boundaries, stick to them and believe in you. If it looks like the selfish people are getting ahead because of their step on anyone who is in their way behavior, maybe they are but they are losing something during the behavior. Assertiveness is attractive, aggression is not. Believe it or not, just saying no is very hard. But once you do it a few times, it gets easier and you get more confident. I wish you well.
2007-02-20 08:00:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is why you don't get what you want because you even admitted, you don't know what you want a lot of times. For me, I take this as a poor excuse for a human who wants to play around, takes everything for granted and wants to try more different new stuff. Don't get me wrong but I have a bad thought of this praise -'don't know what i want'. I am not attacking you personally, it just happened that you're the person who asked this question. Everyone knows, have an idea, and imagination of what he wants, to interpret this praise would basically mean, ' am not satisfied with what I have, with you, with that girl, or with that new furniture' whatever the case may be, now i got to have something that I can't have'..
2007-02-27 12:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by oscar c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, it's a very good thing that you are not selfish. You should stay the way you are! But if you don't know what you want, maybe you could try and make a list of things that are really important to you and things that are not so much and you could let slide. It could help organize your thoughts and then you could know when you should really stand up for something.
2007-02-20 08:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by maeb3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read Ayn Rand's book "The Virtue of Selfishness." Then read Ayn Rand's other book, "Atlas Shrugged," and pretend you're Dagny Taggart. Also, it helps to forget that economic collectives (class) are not adaptively reinforced by evolution, whereas biological collectives are. If you don't forget that, the behavior of Hank Rearden's family might confuse you and detract from the story.
2007-02-20 07:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by blaringhorn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I imagine you mean selfish in the 'stand up for yourself' way. Try to understand what your fear of being heard is. Do you think people won't like you? Could be an esteem confidence thing. Plus a lot of women are raised to not make waves. My middle child has problems standing up for herself. Try someting that makes you feel empowered. We found a rock-climbing gym in the area..originally for her bro and she was a tag along. To see her feeling so pround of herself climbing up a wall her older brother did was Awesome!!! We'll go back..this time for her!!
2007-02-20 08:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by monkey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would you want to become more selfish? being selfish is considered a sin. we need more people like you. i understand where you're coming from when you say "you dont get what you want." and that can be hard. when you're the nice girl and are afraid to say no. (that sorta thing??) but. you shouldn't want to become more selfish. maybe just more .... demanding. if that's the right word.
2007-02-20 07:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ aaalex. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I doubt you've ever been in a fight, right? Humans really have lost the ability to punch someone in the face when it needs to be done. It's why things like UFC are so popular now; people would rather watch two people fight then do it themselves.
Rent Fight Club and the next time someone gives you crap, give them a fat lip. I'm not joking.
2007-02-20 08:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by Smokey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how becoming selfish is going to make things easier. You can't always get what you want. Speaking your mind and standing next to what you say (good or bad) will make u feel better and possibly could get you what you need.
2007-02-20 07:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by akiastatz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to do a lot of soul searching and decide what you want in life, short and long term, big and small.
When you have decided, promise yourself you will be true to your own personal desires and be assertive.......everyday just work slowly towards these goals one step at a time.
This isnt being selfish, its just about being true to yourself.
Good luck.
2007-02-28 02:09:00 · answer #11 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋