from my partner who I live with. When I ask him if he still loves me he wouldn't answer me directly, Instead said he doesn't feel affectionate towards me. He has been like this for nearly 2 months, yet there have been times he talks about us, and starts to initiate plans. He wants to feel in control in his own house. I told him I am going crazy not knowing where I stand. He says he will let me know as soon as because he is not feeling too good about the situation! We are both in our forties and acting like twenty year olds I know!
I have a good job nearby ,as I did upsticks to be with him. I don't want to go back to my house as I have let it out, and yet I'm upset .
He says and I know that I have always got my own way with him, and now he is taking charge of himself. We have quarrelled so much, but not recently. He has now booked a week in Moscow with some friends in June. He poured his heart to them. I am not invited. We still go out together..So what do I do now?
2007-02-20 06:44:05 · 19 answers · asked by Sani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would feel very uncomfortable being in that situation. i personally dont like what is going on. i think he might be confused or unhappy the way his life is headed, maybe its not about you, but just about him. maybe he needs space just to let go and do something that makes him feel really good about with himself. all you have to do, i think, is to help him out, and if he wants some sapce with his friends for a week you say ok, ill do the same, and just do it! leave him alone and you take your time off also, and relax with your friends and when he gets back speak about it together and see how you both feel. sometimes space is good, sometimes space is bad. it can make you or break you. trust me ive been there. wish you the best. take care.
2007-02-20 07:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that you are not staying with this man because you don't want to go home or be alone. I would move out so he can find himself and do whatever it is he thinks he needs. It sounds like he is just dragging you around and keeping you there till he finds something better and that is not fair to you. I think you should leave he will ether come crawling back or he will never come around but at least then you will know that you did the right thing and left cause he obviously did not care about you to Begin with. the fact that he is going on a big trip and did not invite you should be hurt full enough. It seems he is just keeping you there for whenever he needs you or whenever you are convent. Just move out that should give you all the answers you need. You don't deserve this and you could do much better there is someone out there waiting to spend time with you and make you feel loved.You should not feel like a nuisance
2007-02-20 14:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is going through andropause (male menopause) which is a mid-life crisis. That and he has huge issues with commitment. And he also sounds like he wants to be a control freak. Tell him if he wants to be the man of the house, then he has to stop acting like a 20 yr old, like you said, before he'll earn any respect in that position. Tell him also that you need a definite answer, otherwise you'll refuse to waste your time on him. And cut him off in the bedroom too. Make him come crawling to you. And if he doesn't, he never will.
By the way, he can get hormone replacement therapy for andropause, the same as women do for menopause. Look it up for a list of symptoms
2007-02-20 14:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out! The friends he's going to Moscow with....couples or individuals? If couples, thats saying a lot. If he loves you, why would he hesitate to confirm it to you? What do you mean about initiating plans? what kind of plans? Remember, always, actions speak louder than words! It just seems to me that couples I see who are compatible don't have these kinds of problems. I hope this helps. If you're still there when he leaves for his trip, that would be the ideal time to move out. Find a small apt. to rent temporarily, if need be. Good Luck.
2007-02-20 14:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by slippery slope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut bait and run away! If the guy wanted you to remain in his life he would have made that clear. How long do you plan to wait for his confusion to clear?! What's the 'taking charge' crap about anyway? A good relationship involves two partners on equal footing...regardless of whose home they reside at.
2007-02-20 14:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly what u said - stop acting like 20 year olds. You are a grown woman and if a man isnt sure if he wants u around, then y do you wanna be there...? Ask urself that question
2007-02-20 14:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by kizdrop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and go back to your own home you can do much better he sounds like a real loser and just wants to be out of the relationship so move on and get out on your own.
2007-02-20 14:55:41 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the 2 of you need a vacation together. some place where you can both relax but still talk about your futures. tell him it's time to know where you stand.
2007-02-20 14:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by firefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First use proper english! It is" a "not "an".
This is ridiculous!See how immature ppl are,even into their 40's????
I am sure you can find another short term relationship to tide you over to your 50's!Seems he doesn't want anything from you except the "Booty"anymore.
2007-02-20 14:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by Frogmama2007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would not confuse his not telling you with actual love. he doesnt tell you because he cares about you....hes just not that into you and he still wants to have a girl to screw until the girl hes going to moscow with gives it up. and there is a girl....trust me. even if shes not going with him, she will be there. so hes not affectionate ...but i bet he wants to stick his penis in your vagina...haha, thats quite nice. i would too if i was him, when you have a girl who will let you walk all over her its awesome, you know, you could just gte some respect for yourself and tell him to screw off....but you wont
2007-02-20 14:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by jojcnny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋