My son has his schedule mixed up. How can I help him. Can you help me?

Question

First of all, thanks for reading this. I know its long, but I need to expose all the facts.
My son is 3-1/2 months old.
He is exclusively breast fed.

He would ‘go to bed’ between 8 -9 pm, sleep for two to three hours and then wake up ready to play. I mean it, he was ready to play, no human force would make him go back to bed.
We’ve tried:
Ignoring him… leave him in his crib to cry. (I could not and don’t want to let him cry for more than 10 min) No success.
Pick him up and rock him back to sleep. No success.
Nurse him. He’d kind of fall sleep in my arms at the breast but don’t even try to put him down. He’d go hysterical! Off course, no success.
Pick him up, walk him around the apt. He’ll start showing sings of being tired, but he wont fall sleep.
Finally I turn on the lights and play with him until his next feeding. (midnight or 1 am) Then, he’ll go to sleep until 8 am or so when he wakes up to feed and right away back to sleep until 11 or noon.

I’ve tried keeping him up after his 8 am feeding, which he has no problem with, and regulating his naps. But that doesn’t make any difference… we’ll have the same routine at bedtime. Regardless of bedtime which I have modified too.
It seems clear to me that he is taking a nap at bed time.
But I have no idea how to change this. If I’ve even tried letting him take a late nap (around 6pm) still, no difference, at bed time (either 9pm or 11 pm) he’ll sleep for a couple of hours and wake up FULLY AWAKE and ready to play.
Remember also that he is no hungry (I’ve tried feeding him)

Answer 1

I'm not sure this is a terrible schedule...I mean, he doesn't have to go to school in the morning... You are also getting a pretty good stretch from midnight or 1 am to 8 am where he's sleeping, and that's pretty good.
The only thing I could suggest is to keep him up a little bit later, and when he wakes up, keep the lights dim and the play subdued (talk to him, read books, sing songs, baby massage) so that time stays mellow until he's ready to sleep again, and over time, he may work into sleeping through that period.

But early nighttime awake time isn't terrible--it's a lovely time to bond if you can stand to be awake and enjoy him...he won't be a baby for long.

Don't be too impressed with those folks who "get their kids on a schedule" in those first few weeks, most of them are just lucky. (thank God the babies in my family are good sleepers)

Answer 2

I suggest you get and read the book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, M.D. It's all about flexible scheduling with the specific goals of supporting breast feeding mothers and getting a baby to sleep through the night. We used it for both our children and our son started sleeping though the night at 13 weeks, and our daughter at 11 weeks (she's 3 months now and sleeps from 8:30pm to 6:30am)

Answer 3

I hate to say it mom, but you are just going to have to tough it out for now. Some babies don't really ever start sleeping through the night until they are at least 6 months old. Escpecially if they are breastfed.

It is frustrating. Don't keep playing with him though, that only encourages the behavior to stay awake.

Try dimming the lights, play some soft music, (my baby likes soft jazz) run a fan, some kind of white noise, gently rub his back or run your fingers over his forehead. It's okay to lay down with your baby to put him to sleep, just remember to put him in his own bed.

Don't worry it will get better.

Answer 4

Wow I can't imagine you have messed up your son's sleeping like this. What do you think will happen when he goes to school? I recommend getting him on a normal schedule asap. Nap around 1-2pm and to bed no later than 9 or 10pm.

Answer 5

As I was reading this I could so relate and my recommendation is Babywise by Gary Ezzo. I see someone already provided you the information it was a controversial book but let me tell you I followed it with my second child and it worked GREAT.
Good Luck!!!