It hurts me so much to hear him cry and I know that I'm spoiling him when I go see what's wrong, but how can I not. How have you handled it. Please help.
2007-02-20 05:49:31 · 13 answers · asked by Laura L 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Your son is going through separation anxiety, which is normal for this age. The best thing you can do is teach him to sooth himself to sleep. This is how it is done, at least this is how we did it and it totally worked.
Give him 5 minutes to cry before you go in there. Soothe him, but don't pick him up. Lay him back down, pet his back, "shhhhhh", and tell him its "night-night time".
DONT pick him up. Walk out of there even if he starts crying again after you leave.
Then give it another 6-7 minutes. Then go back in there and soothe him, but don't pick him up.
Repeat this process, working your way up to 15 minutes increments.
You will have about a week of this, but he will eventually learn to soothe himself to sleep.
After I started doing this will my little one, she is only waking up 1 time a night, if at all.
2007-02-20 05:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should go check on him. Letting a baby cry for a few minutes when you put them to bed is okay, ignoring them if they wake up crying later is different.
Babies cry for a reason.
I have a 7 month old, a 3 year old, and a 4 year old. If any of them wake up in the night crying I go check on them. With the older two, it's usually because they wet the bed or had a bad dream, and with the baby, it's usually because she's hungry.
How would you feel if something happened to you and you called out for your husband to come help you, and he ignored you? It really isn't much different with a baby.
2007-02-20 08:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if this is happening every night then its a problem. If its only once in a while, go in and comfort the baby. Its ok you won't spoil the baby. I hear similiar stories all of the time and I know people who still let their two year old sleep in the same room with them. These are also the same people who complain that they can't get enough sleep and their child has no schedule. Their child also will not tolerate an overnight stay at Granny's. That is when you start to have real problems. Don't let it get to that point.
2007-02-20 06:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kewl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a hard time not peaking on my baby. I wake her up when I do it, but I can't sleep sometimes until I check on her. If your son is sleeping alright, and he goes to bed fine, its not going to hurt. The way I look at it is, my daughter goes to bed great, but doesn't sleep well during the night. I'd rather her not mind going into the crib and know that she will eventually sleep all night, then create bedtime issues where she hates going to sleep. If you enjoy comforting him then do it. His only going to be this little once. By the time they are three most children are not so difficult to put to sleep and usually sleep sound through the night whether or not mom let them cry it out as a baby or soothed him.her during the night. It really is a matter of preference.
2007-02-20 05:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by jc2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no rule saying that you can't go into their bedroom. That's only ONE method of "self soothing". Some people won't let their children cry it out at all, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I personally cannot let my 7 month old cry without me going in there to calm her. It'd probably make my life a little bit easier because she may begin to self soothe a little better, but it's too difficult for me to ignore it. Your son is still so young, he needs to know that the person he depends on the most is going to be there for him. I couldn't stand to let my oldest son cry it out until he was a year and a half.
If you want to continue to try letting him cry, but can't stand to ignore it completely, try going into his room only every 15 mins to start. Rub his back, shhh him, sing to him, do whatever to calm, but DON'T pick him up. Tell him you love him, good night, and leave. Then increase the time to every 20 minutes. Then 30 and so on until he gets used to being alone. He may just exhaust himself to sleep after the time gets increased so much.
Good luck, I know it's hard.
2007-02-20 06:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by imcalledlisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with checking on your child in the middle of the night if he is crying.
If that crying becomes a habitual thing, then you have to break the habit.
Children cry for many reasons. The first being they can't speak to communicate with us.
Sometimes children cry just to cry. It's not a bad thing...it strengthens their lungs and they are learning to communicate.
But you cannot let your son run your life by crying as a means of watching Mommy run!
You will find a gentle balance with him.
2007-02-20 06:01:16 · answer #6 · answered by Nibbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spoiling him? Honey my son is 9 months old and until my dying day if my son needs me at night I will be there. If he wakes crying I wait 5 minutes to see if he'll go back to sleep if he doesnt I go in there talk quietly to him ask him whats wrong and tell him to lay down. Usually he does as I pat him softly on the back. Othertimes like now when he's sick ofcourse he needs me more. What makes you think your son isnt wet, to hot, to cold, not feeling well, had a bad dream, isnt hungry or just needs mommy? I say go to him as long as your not spending more time in his room then you are in yours nothing wrong with it. And that is how I raised my daughter who is now 14, both my godchildren and my 2 nephews. They arent spoiled from it they learned that when they need me I am there for them.
2007-02-20 06:00:32 · answer #7 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We are having the same problem with our 7 month old. We have transitioned him from his bassinet in our room to his crib in his room, but he still wakes up once or twice a night crying. If I go in, I can usually calm him back to sleep, but my wife handles the 2-4 AM shift, and she usually nurses him back to sleep. Probably not the best solution, but it works at this point.
2007-02-20 05:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by Michael D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard, you just have to tough it out. Don't let him cry for more than 15 minutes though. If he has been crying that long it may be something else. Then it's okay to check on him, but it's normal for most babies to cry out in there sleep. Remember though, you know your baby better than anyone else. Go with your mamainstincts.
It is really hard and I sympathize with you. I have a 9 year old and a 5 1/2 month old who has a Congenital Heart Defect. Trust me, I know it's hard. Usually I just stand at her door and wait for her to fall back to sleep, I don't let her see me I just stand there to be sure she is okay.
2007-02-20 05:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by scrabbleqatgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck. I have 3 children and 2 out of the 3 slept in my bed. I know that it is a taboo to have your children in bed with you, but for us it was just the normal thing to do. My first child(a daughter) we let cry and she threw up and that was it. We never let her cry at bed time again. However, we did keep taking her to her own bed. She stopped sleeping in our bed around 5. Our 2nd was a son. He never really slept in our bed. Our 3rd is a daughter she is 3 and still in our bed. It is just away of life that we like. I have done research on the "family bed" try looking up some of the articles.....
2007-02-20 06:04:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋