I'm really stuck. I'm a lesbian and i'm fairly butch, i just find myself falling into someone i dont want to be. I get a lot of **** for wearing mens clothing. I just dont know how to balance how i express myself and not wanting to be with being a totally bashed. I live in a conservative area and get stared at constantly.. i hate it...any advice?
2007-02-20 05:44:12 · 8 answers · asked by meg r 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well firs of all, please allow me to warn you of people like the 2 above me who tell you that what you're doing is wrong & perverted and blah blah blah. Bulls.hit. Live your life how YOU want to live it. Now, i do agree that maybe u should save $ and relocate to a more gay friendly city. Are you of age??? If so, then you should be able to do this with no problem. Be proud of whou are and who you identiy as. My girlfriend is a stud (black version of butch) and she embraces it in every way possible. Being lesbian means you're going to get the stares, the comments, the backlash but really whou should give a s.hit about what others think?? If they arent paying your bills & if they cant send u to heaven or hell then ***** em. Deal with the attention you are getting as if it doesnt phase u and keep moving on with life. Love yourself first and be HAPPY.
2007-02-20 07:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Raynebow_Diva 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Best advice...be who you are. I also live in a conservative area. I have short hair. I.wear men's clothes. I do these things out of comfort, not rebellion as someone else said. I live in the deep south where it is hot. The short hair is cool. I am 6 ft. tall and have a large bone structure. They dont make women's clothes that look or feel right on my frame. I just happen to be a lesbian. If people stare at me when I am out in public, good for them. If they watch long enough they will find out that I am a mother, I have a fantastic partner, and I have a live that does not involve them or their narrow views. Learn to accept yourself and dont worry about what other people think.
2007-02-21 01:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by Friskie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try not to be so self consious. I bet half the folks you think are staring are not even aware of you at the time.
My advice is be someone you like, love and admire. If you are not then change into someone you like.
I thought I was butch is a statement.
What is the question?
2007-02-20 06:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by Papa Mac DaddyJoe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I used to feel like that when I moved back to my hometown. Just don't care about what other people say. So what if you wear men's clothes? It's you, your body, not them...people are always gonna talk no matter what, so just ignore them. You don't have to change anything if you feel confortable with yourself. If you change, you think you're gonna make people happy, for what? For your unhappiness? Nobody is worth so much, just be yourself and ignore them.
Good luck.
2007-02-20 06:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try wearing masculine styled women's clothes insted of shoping in the mens department.
There's no right or wrong way to express yourself, no hard and fast rules to being 'butch" or "femme."
We're all individuals.
2007-02-20 06:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest moving some place less hostile. Be accepting and proud of the person you are. Live your life how you want and ignore others. If their voices are getting too loud, then get further away or shut them up.
2007-02-20 06:01:51 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop cutting of your nose to spite your face. You are rebelling against societal norms and you know as well as i do that acting gay is the ultimate rebellion.
If you really want to find out who you are stop wearing that costume and acting like a man. I'm sure you are a beautiful young woman and would make some guy very happy if yougave yourself half a chance.
The lifestyle you have chosen is one of confusion and perversion and will only throw you deeper into darkness and despair.
2007-02-20 06:47:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You are who you are. Dress the way that you feel and that makes you comfortable. Perhaps using it as a jumping off point to enlighten the folks that are staring.
2007-02-20 06:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋