OK.... I was a in a really bad relationship about three years ago, a relationship that consisted of beatings, mental, physical and emtional abuses. Also sexual. I've dealth with the the beatings, mental frustrations, physical issues and therapy for the emotional, but what do I do about the sexual. My ex-boyfriend made me give him oral, literally make me. Grab me, throw me down & before I could get up he would be in my face, saying her bytch sukk my ____ Crying, face bruised and broken... I would do what ever he said or get more teeth knocked out.
Now I have serious issues and I dont' like giving head, it seems so degrading to me. I have trouble finding pleasure in something that I was made to do.
My current boyfriend is excepting, understanding and has been VERY, VERY patceint .... but he is still a man and as a woman....his woman, I want to satisfy him, in every way.. but how can I? The thought of it makes me absolutely sick, i don't want this to ruin our relationship
2007-02-20 05:34:30 · 6 answers · asked by Sunshine_Diva 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
man, since i got married, i dont get it anymore... and thats without all the issues you mention...
... he'll manage to live without it...
2007-02-20 06:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answerer. There are a lot more things in sex than oral, and a decent man who cares about you will understand that you just can't bring yourself to go through the trauma that happened again. Not only that, but you also associate the forced oral with the beatings and other abuse. This guy you're with now doesn't NEED oral--I'm sure he's quite satisfied with everything else you do for him.
When will you think about your pleasure--everything's not about the guy.
2007-02-20 14:04:48 · answer #2 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to engage in any sexual contact to satisfy a man...(if you're current boyfriend is really understanding, tell him the way you have been treated before and the trauma that you experienced....if he forces to have sex with you in any way, DUMP HIM!!!)
You could do other stuff to make him feel loved...such as baking cookies or cooking dinner for him...these are some of the simple things that you can do to keep the relationship happy enough that you do not need to have any sexual contact.
2007-02-20 15:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just can't understand why a woman would feel that she has to do everything in bed for a man. Giving a man oral sex or that they go find it elsewhere is not an option. Sit down and tell him how you feel about it. It's not something that you can do and it's disgusting for you. If he loves you, he should understand.
2007-02-20 13:58:29 · answer #4 · answered by letgo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you given yourself a chance to heal? You need counseling.....Go to a counselor who is trained in domestic violence. If need be see a psychologist, group therapy could help you as well.There are many things you need to overcome.After such a traumatic experience you may need medications to help you. Many women who are in your position suffer from Post Traumatic Shock. Please get help.You have made the first step in coming here to us today. Good Luck!
2007-02-20 14:26:10 · answer #5 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need some serious professional help! The fact that you desire to discuss this crap on the Internet is a good indicator you have lost touch with reality. You might also want to use the spell-check option before submitting your egregious questions, just so you don't appear ignorant as well as maladjusted.
2007-02-20 14:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by rico3151 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋