I always feel like an idiot, I always feel manipulated, when I do something positive I question myself too much and I end up back to square one. How can I get away from this cage?I do not have a clue what I want to do in my life. I've got a brain but I miss opportunities, I've lost battles with my parents, I have sacrificed my culture to adapt to this country as a teen. Whenever a guy comes along in my heart I let it pass..., I have lost so many things now that it becomes a habit. All of my egotistical desires have eroded. I feel like letting it all go and and saying f*** off to all of what people expect of me. When I do ask advice it puts me down as I already thought of it before. Is this just a phase of the early twenties? Am I right isn't this country just crap? am I being ignorant? What is it that I'm going through, making mistakes all the time! Why is it that I don't want to succeed in anything anymore? how can I let myself dream again?
2007-02-20 05:31:55 · 34 answers · asked by HayBail86 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
All of these answers come up in my head when I am feeling positive, they are all the best! Thank you very much for being supportive. Listenning to Alanis Morissette Mary Jane when I am down helps alot too!!!
2007-02-20 07:25:00 · update #1
I moved from France to the UK, It is hard to loose identity in this way but I've gained knowledge. People are all in their own cage not actually looking outside it, a woman maybe insecure about how her hair is today but it's all a fabrication of british society, you may be studying a degree to understand all about economics but only from a british point of view. Because of the constraints of states knowlegde is constrained. Due to the lack of space and the amount of people we have here, the british are constantly comparing and looking at each other. What do you think? I don't feel like my identity has flourished as much as I wanted to, I like being close to nature. Greed causes terrible consequences. But we can not control the weather.
2007-02-22 01:11:38 · update #2
The more mistakes you make the better...learn from them...
2007-02-20 05:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are only 20.
Stop looking in the mirror to see what is behind you and start looking out the window to see what is ahead of you.
You are very articulate. Use that to your advantage and become the manipulator and not the manipulated.
People are always saying , "You will know when the time is right." If that were true then everything would end in a tie. There are winners and there are losers to everything, first come first serve. Just choose wisely and maybe you will be the winner next time.
Call it positive thinking or just blind ambition but the odds of succeeding increase the minute you commit to an action.
AND NEVER SAY "F*CK OFF" TO WHAT PEOPLE EXPECT OF YOU. That is the root to being alone and unwanted. Change their minds or simply walk away. The toe you step on today may kick you in the backside tomorrow.
I have no idea why you are in the UK but that may be your problem. You don't like it. You think it does not like you. Perhaps you should move. Otherwise, perhaps you should change a little part of it for yourself. Who knows, others may see what you have done and like it. Maybe they will make similar changes themselves.
Keep it happy and keep thinking what now as in what will I do next. It helps.
2007-02-25 19:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on the things you do right. Even if they are small, every day things. Next, try to notice a bit more important things that you get right. Stop trying to do what you're bad at. Embrace what you love (or used to love) and try to find your place in that area.
You sound like an unconventional person trying to fit into a conventional world. Stop trying to force your square peg through the round hole. Go out and find a square hole - things will become MUCH easier. Of course, being a square peg is not always as easy as being like one of the majority "round pegs" but you get to see things all the round pegs miss.
And if you like dreaming, you just may be the artistic type. Dreaming is a form of creativity. Take your dreams and write a poem, a short story, a book. Or paint a picture, sculpt, or take photographs. Help other people see what you see (dream about).
You make mistakes because you are on the wrong path. It just may be that you should simply get off the path for a while and start wandering through the woods (so to speak). The more you experience of life's options the closer you come to finding your own path within it. Good Luck.
2007-02-20 06:02:04 · answer #3 · answered by Daniel J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are one smart intelligible person to acknowledge the fact that you're making/you made mistakes. That is one good sign that you still have a good grip of your mind no matter if you are erroneously making life by.
Keep learning from your mistakes everyday, and discover the fact that no one is perfect in this world. Law of compensation prevails.
About your personal relationship, never give in to the fact that you were wrong in letting them all go. You must have a reason. You may have been wrong, made a mistake but dont dwelve over it, wallow and saulk over your mistakes less you'll never learn what went wrong the first few times.
I am pretty sure you may be having a little touch of anxiety, or depression, but you'll get through it. That is the most critical stage you are in now-at that age. Rebellion, retaliation are very common defense mechanisms against anyone. But you have to watch your back that you're entering the right path in the crossroads where you are in now. Don't fall into a pit and you'll have the rest of your life looking back the other ways you could have saved yourself from falling.
2007-02-20 05:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by oscar c 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all make mistakes. there isn't anyone who hasn't even the most successful people have made made stupid blunders at some point in their lives. There are some quotes i say to myself to help when i start questioning myself after iv done something stupid like don't look where u fell but wer u slipped, and i try not to make the same mistake (if possible!) . Also even if people tell u what u were already thinking of doing it should help in re enforcing Ur own thot, idea or what you wanted to do. Go easy on yourself and enjoy your twenties cos u wont get a second chance at being young and that age...believe me!! Enjoy life, don't always be in a competition with it, don't criticise yourself too much ...laugh instead.
2007-02-20 05:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by verah_lee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see a different take on all this - your self-absorption is also self-defeating.
If you are at a learning institution, try to study hard and get good grades.
If you are NOT, try to study hard and get good 'grades'. (a pay check and a delighted boss)
Volunteering to help less fortunate souls will get the perspective back. Ask at your library if there are people/places where you can read to kids/adults as a volunteer.
Ask at Goodwill stores, or Oxfam shops if you can be useful as a volunteer. Success there is a great sense of usefulness.
It is in giving back to our society that we feel some fulfillment
You have missed opportunities, but there will be others coming along. Maybe you were not really ready for them.
2007-02-20 05:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How to get out of the cage? Who has the key? is the door locked? Is there really a cage? Who knows the answers.? Struggle struggle struggle, frustration, anger gulilt, hopelessness...Suffering, no end...I understand." You say" I feel like letting it all go..."" egotistical desires have erode..." I am only 20! All the advice you receive you already know. Well then why dont you? " let it all go, give up the struggle, give up the hopes, the ego desires...
Then see what happens. Dont you see why this is happening to you. So let it all go willingly. Then you will have a different life altogether. We keep suffering until we become wiser. So time to become wise my friend.And end the suffering.
2007-02-20 09:58:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact is that EVERYONE makes mistakes ALL the time. Some are just better at disguising it.
To be honest, it sounds to me that what you call 'mistakes' are really someone elses judgment of you. i.e. you are not doing something that they want or like and they have made you think it is your fault they are upset, or even laughing at you.
Step one is to put up for yourself... if someone tells you to do something that you really don't want to do... say "no". You may feel bad a first but remember that they are only upset that you are not doing what THEY want... and it is NOT really you disappointing them, but rather they are upset that they haven't got their own way...Standing up for yourself should begin to give you a little self-worth and confidence. Once you realise that you deserve to be happy then others will see you respecting yourself and they will then learn to respect you too.
And to be honest, when you think you've caused upset to another person, it could be just as likely that they haven't given the incident a second thought.
Don't worry about society and the country in general... we know it is all going pear-shaped anyway, so it is down to the individual to begin to make themselves happier. I guess it is a phase of getting to know yourself.. try to remember that we are all equal.. no one has the right to manipulate or control you.
i hope it all works out :)
2007-02-20 09:35:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the position you're refering to has already been filled...that's right, i'm the queen of bad decisions! It was all unhealthy self-destruction...
This world isn't perfect. Mankind isn't perfect. There was a time when I would just break down and cry because this world is an ugly place...but life isn't. Life is a gift.
No matter how bad things seem, they can always get worse. If you're feeling lonely, just remember, it's all part of the human condition and not something others haven't gone through. ALL OF US have felt lonely, alienated, even abandoned. It's just a place to start, that's all.
The only thing you can do is be yourself, no matter what. YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE A DAMN THING!! If you go through life tip-toeing around people and doing things just because you don't want to hurt someone, what kind of a life is that? IT'S YOU'RE LIFE, that's what. **** normal. Normal is boring.
I had a normal life, normal childhood, normal family. But my parents were pushing me to be someone I just couldn't be. It took a lot of self-destructive behavior and self-reflection to realize that they just wanted what was best and only I know what's best for me...no one else can tell me what I need.
LIVE IN YOUR DREAMS...DON'T MAKE IT SO HARD. Just follow your dreams, and forget the problems you just can't fix. I couldn't make my parents accept that I didn't want to go to school and I wanted to move to another state and live with my boyfriend (unmarried! yeah, it's a big deal in catholicism). But I did, and they love me still. I hurt them, but I had to do it for me...do it for yourself. No one else will do it for you.
2007-02-20 06:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by Vespa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so hard on yourself, life is a learning process. The lessons we learn by making mistakes are the ones that protect us in the future. Perhaps we learn to be less naive or more courageous or kinder. All are valuable lessons if you were an idiot life would be a bowl of cherries. However, you have intelligence and a conscience. You are responsible and respectful, be proud of yourself you will achieve a great deal of success in your life if you retain the principles you display in you question. You sound like a well rounded human being enjoy your life it is fleeting....
2007-02-20 08:51:38 · answer #10 · answered by stella 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hiya, times sounds stressful right now but remind yourself it's not always going to stay this way. You are asking yourself some tough questions, but you don't have to have all the answers right now.
People go through tough patches, and transitions in life. This sounds like one of them.
Just don't forget that now is a time to enjoy your twenties and what being young is all about. Have some fun and give yourself a holiday from your problems.
You can't please everybody, so you have to please yourself.
It's alright if you aren't sure what you want to do the rest of your life. You have your whole entire life to figure that out.
If others don't like it, it's their problem, not yours.
You sound like you have a lot of strength, so I'm sure you'll find your way through this time and come out on top!
Be kind to yourself and be your own best friend. In other words, don't allow yourself to put yourself down. Think Positive! :)
Listen to Natasha Bedingfield's song UNWRITTEN for inspiration!
Hugsss!!!
2007-02-20 07:03:59 · answer #11 · answered by ♥Enya♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋