suppose u know her very well, and know the following facts
- they had a bad relationship, as in - they had a nice time together and all, but at the end of it, it got a little messed up, cause he was not the most faithful of guys, well - she used to lie to him alot as well.
- they were in love, but called it off.
- he slept and moved in with his ex while he was still dating her
- he is now sort of back with his ex - girlfriend - and he told this 20 yr old girl, that he has been in love with her for 4 years
- the girl and the guy - 1 yr, but never had a physical relationship
well, - what would u say
if u know she was crushed and hurting
what would u say? how do u console her? please advice and say something
thanks
2007-02-20 05:29:00 · 20 answers · asked by Franky 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It doesn't feel or look like it at the moment but in the end she will feel glad that this happened. The guy was a complete idiot and will have the same done to him in the future.
People like that always end up in abusive relationships because they cannot be faithful. She will be able to pick herself up and advance with her life and will find someone faithful and better in time.
There is a wide world to be seen. Take time off from a relationship, go travelling or sightseeing and see other parts of the world. Have fun for herself and put herself and her family as her top priority. Soon someone else will enter her life and then she won't even think about this moron who did this to her.
I wish her luck.
2007-02-20 05:38:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mike T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate cheaters! What a bastard! You tell her that even though it hurts the pain will get better with time. Stick by her and let he express all her emotions. The anger, the crying, the sadness of why me. Then she needs to try and put him out of her mind. Tell her to take this past relationship as a learning experience. So that if she meets a cheater again she'll know better. Everyone gets their heart broken at one time or another. Make sure she understands that it's nothing she did to cause him to cheat. Tell her she is beautiful, smart and funny and that this guy didn't deserve her. Convince her she will meet someone better but until the she has a friend in you. Take her out and try to cheer her up. Good luck. I hope this helps.
2016-03-15 22:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say I'm sorry...I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry but also glad you won't be hurt anymore. Some things aren't meant to be. The important thing is to learn from this. Learn what went wrong. Be honest with yourself about the relationship and learn what NOT to do next time you're in the same situation. Better yet, learn how to avoid getting into the same situation. People come in and out of our lives to teach us. So try to figure out the lesson and move on. My Mom always had this "rule" that when something "bad" happens to you, you got 1 week to feel sorry for yourself. After that, although you still may feel bad, you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. Get on with your life. Anymore than a week, she tells us, and you get into a trap of self pity and depression. I think this is a very good philosophy. So, good luck to you and your friend.
2007-02-20 05:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least she found out before marriage that his heart wasn't steady on one girl. It's kinda common for some people to get crushes on others even while they may have another crush. (That how cheating starts & break-ups, etc.) Sorry she is hurting right now. We are all young at a time & the guys are human, too. There are other guys out there. Have her spend time with family & friends. And tell her to forgive him so she can let it go. If she starts to dwell on him again, tell her to remind herself of where he's at & it's not fair to herself to have crush emotions on someone that's not available. Take Care! {hug}
Added (after the thumb up):
May I respectfully disagree with some that think you get out of a relationship what you put in, cuz I'm sure there's plenty of people that were committed,etc, & gave over & beyond what someone else put in & it wasn't reciprocated. Different people and different stages of life. Learning how to forgive & care about people who aren't the same as we are is good. I say it's not soo much how loved someone is but how loving they truely are. Not everyone is up to speed but hopefully, all will catch up & end up some place good.
There are truely loveable people who are not appreciated & walked on or not liked solely because of how they look, if they don't act cool -or if they act weird. Wierd isn't necessarily bad (awkward or geeky or nerdy doesn't mean you are an unlikeable person, some people just think that's substandard.) Some don't like others cuz of their religion or political views or personal views about topics out there these days. For those reasons they may be treated un-nice. It's respectfully disagreeing with or being tolerant of those that aren't the same as you & caring about them, anyway. Peace!
2007-02-20 05:42:43 · answer #4 · answered by Nocine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be there for her and just listen to everything and anything she has to say. The most important thing is for her to get everything outta her system and not hold back any negative emotions/thoughts which might manifest subconsciously and thats harder to deal with.
Then i'll hopefully try to feel the void in her life by been there physically and getting her out into the world again socially and physically, help her move on by bringing healthy distractions such as new job, makeover, take a fun crash course on cooking/yoga/dancing whatever, meet new friends, try out new things, take healthy risks and have fun. The most important thing here is to MOVE ON and to let her develop enough faith in herself to stand on her own 2 feet again.
All the best! Remember, nobody and nothing negative is ever worth anyone's health and self-esteem.
2007-02-20 05:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by astella_interrupted 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to forget him and help her find some other guys. U know like don't advise her to get into anything serious for a while but find out how the guy is really like before she starts falling in love an stuff. Don't console her just help her to get her mind off him by doing stuff that will keep her busy.
2007-02-20 05:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am sorry that this unfortunate thing happened to this girl. I understand that this girl is hurt and crushed.
With that in mind I would tell that girl to get her act together and start choosing guys that aren't loosers. I would tell her that she is responsible for the choices that she makes which includes the mistake of letting herself get attached to guys that are undeserving.
20 year old girl??? Maybe she should be in college getting her Ph.D. and then maybe she wouldn't have time to get tripped up by looser guys. Maybe while getting her P.h.D. she would meet a guy that wasn't such a looser and fall in love with him.
That's the advice my friends and family would give me in a similar situation and that's why I am in grad school right now because I don't have time for looser girls.
2007-02-20 05:41:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her to learn from her mistakes. Now she knows what kind of guy to avoid. Lots of times you are attracted to the wrong kind of person for whatever reason. Tell her that the right one is out there, and she will find him. Give herself time to heal, and don't look, cause that's when you find him, when you are not looking. It's always hard to get over a loser for some crazy reason, but once you are, you feel lots better. Time heals all wounds!
2007-02-20 05:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by karenhar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say to this 20-year-old girl, love YOURSELF...that's in general.. meaning: If you had great self-esteem and independence, you wouldn't hurt so much from this guy. He's NOT good for you, and as hard as it is, it all comes down to LOVING YOURSELF... which can be the hardest thing to do in this world for some people. And when it seems impossible, I'd tell this 20-year-old girl to pray... pray,pray, pray until it feels right to be by yourself... pray for this kind of independence.
Good luck, sweetness.
2007-02-20 05:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by hernandezh_400 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start telling the truth. A relationship based on deceit and infidelity has a very poor foundation indeed.
To offer consolation for a non-relationship that ended badly is absurd. To host a pity-party for her is no help either. Tell her to get nicely dressed and the two of you are going to enjoy some fun activity where she can meet other people..
2007-02-20 05:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋