What can I do about a friend's 3 year old daughter who seems to have jealousy issues about my 4 week old son? The last 2-3 times this friend and her daughter has come over to the house she gets very jealous of my son and starts acting like a baby when she comes over. My friend and my boyfriend seem to think it rather cute and won't do anything about it. So the entire time she is at my house I not only take care of my son but I have to keep an eye on her cause she takes my son's bottles off the table or counter and puts them in her mouth along with his pacifer, sets in his carseat, etc. It is very annoying and I don't feel I should be the one to be mean and try to make her behave. Anyone got any ideas on what I can do to solve this problem with out being the bad guy?
2007-02-20 05:08:00 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Unfortunately it is YOUR friendship that you are trying to save. So I suggest that you do as someone else suggested and that is to have some type of activity planned for her, something special just for her when you get together.... that puts the extra burden on you, but it IS your friendship that you are nurturing. Hand the baby to your friend of your boyfriend and then take Ms. Attention Seeker by the hand and play with her while you talk to her about the baby and how he needs quiet time and sterile bottles and pacifiers. Talk to her and tell her that she cannot , ABSOLUTELY CANNOT use his things, just like he cannot use her things at this point. Explain to her that "things" are age appropriate... pacifiers are for newborns and dolls are for BIG GIRLS like her.
2007-02-20 05:19:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kimberlee Ann 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its normal for kids to revert to a time when the were babies when a baby is around. Its cute at first then it just gets a bit difficult. Because focus has been taken away from them, they need reinforcing that their special. Couple things need to get done. First, try bringing your friend's daughter near you and baby. Explain how she's no less important because there is a new baby. Ask if she wants to help feed baby (that's if you are using formula). You can hold the baby but let the 3 year old hold the bottle. You might want to invest in a baby gate to block her off from the bottles and ecetera. Tell your friend to give you a half hour heads up before she and her daughter come over. That gives you time to prepare for her. Invest in things that'll keep her busy (i.e. play-doh, dvd of her favorite show, coloring book, puzzle). Good luck. This worked with my little brother (6 years old) and my now 3 year old son.
2007-02-20 05:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by ash 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would try telling your friend how you feel a bout it.I had a 13 month old and had a new baby and believe me there was jealousy there I just had to spend time With both of them and make him know that he did not drink from a bottle any more and did not have a pacifier. Let her know that it bothers you when her daughter plays with these things. I had a hard time keeping any kids out of my car seat every where i went that there was kids playing in it
2007-02-20 05:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by motherof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son (age 3) does stuff like that now that we have a new baby (3 months) (though we don't let him put the baby's things in his mouth). But he usually just does it on the periphery, if he actually asks for something or tries to get our attention I make him do it like a 3 year old.
I think it would be okay for you to tell the child once that the baby's things are off limits, most parents will then step in to ensure the rules are followed. If not, then you'll just have to pack them all away while she's over and make the room they're in off limits.
2007-02-20 05:17:26 · answer #4 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is ooing and ahhing over the baby and not her so she thinks she needs to act like a baby to get some attention. Have some activities just for her when she comes over. Crayons and paper or get her mom to bring over some of her toys. Everyone should make a conscious effort to talk and play with her so she doesn't feel left out. She is behaving normally. She isn't doing anthing wrong. You guys have to teach her what is the right thing to do, not just tell her what she is doing wrong. The mom should really being helping you out. If she doesn't tell her she needs to limit her visits when the baby is in another room asleep so she doesn't have to compete for attention. You guys brought this on yourselves.
2007-02-20 05:27:08 · answer #5 · answered by dkwkbmn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is looking for attention, when she is there have her HELP you with the baby. When you are fixing the bottle have her go with you to watch what you do and explain to her what you are doing. As you hold the baby have her hold the bottle and "help" feed him and give her praise for doing such a good job. Also spend some time with the two of them. Get a book to read and have HER "read" the baby a story. Also admonish the mother and tell her to do HER job in parenting her child. Rather than allowing her child to be rude and obnoxious.
2007-02-20 05:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO WORRIES! It's normal, the child is use to getting all the attention, and it's obvious that someone else is getting the attention now. You guys have to make him/her feel as if they are a part of things still, let her help out. She can bring you the baby bag, or little things like that to be in the mist of things. She will be alright it takes a little ajusting too. Don't be bothered or up-set to much about the situation. Be Blessed
2007-02-20 05:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by MrsE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you tried getting her to help with the baby? Ask her to get the baby his pacifier or bottle, ask her to get a clean diaper for him, pick out a new sleeper for him, etc.? it can really help if she feels worthy being big, rather than feeling left out... This worked marvelously for my daughter with her baby brother, she is so proud to be able to "take care" of him, even calls him her baby! You can also do special things with her when your son is napping like make muffins or something, let her empty the measuring cup into the bowl, let her stir, etc. Show her it's better to be a big girl than a baby who can't do things...
Good luck!
2007-02-20 05:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's starving for mom's attention like she did before baby came. Just hang in there- the worst is almost over.
Just reassure your 3 year old that you love her and if (and when) you have time spend some quality time with her. That could be reading a book at bedtime, playing with her with her toys or just watching TV together for a few moments in between taking care of your newborn. At four weeks old for your new baby I know it is hard; and your 3 year old will test you. But remain patient, letting him know that the baby needs your help. Explain to him that the baby can't feed himself, dress himself like he can. I did this with my five year old, and as hard as it got when I initially got home with her little sister, it got better. I felt even more at ease when the baby got older too. At three months now my daughter is a good helper for me, retrieving diapers or bottles for me, putting her Binky in her mouth when she fusses. As quality time we play chutes and ladders together, watch a program or read a book (that's her favorite). Do whatever your child likes to do best and it will pay off in volumes. As for the jealously that will dissipate in time. And when she acts like a baby in front of company simply ignore her. I hope this helpful for you, and remember this too shall pass! Good luck dear!
2007-02-20 05:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by gokusgirl_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the three year old for HELP ... tell her that while you 'love' your new son, he's 'unfamiliar' to you, and ask her to 'tell you about what being a baby was like' ... and also ask her to 'get the bottles, pacifier' and even to 'sit in the car seat to warm it' for the baby. That will put her into a 'very special grown-up' category that a 'real adult' can't be ... and your 'problem' will be solved.
2007-02-20 05:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by Kris L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋