i want a baby but im not sure about him?

Question

im 24 living with my boyfriend i feel ready for a baby but im not sure about my partner or how to bring it up in conversation any advice?

yes we are financially stable and we,ve been togehter seven years bought a house two years ago and currently planning a wedding.

Answer 1

just brin g it up... this is way to serious to not talk about.
simply sit him down and start talking about how long you have been together and tell him what you are feeling.

One thing you must realize because I learned it the hard way, is that you cannot push him into being ready. I kept at it and kept at it and it ended up creating alot of friction... when I stopped, he came around and we agreed on a timeframe.

just voice your opinion and let nature take its course.

I see you are inthe same situation as me except for the wedding part. We have been together 7 years and moved into our 1st house 3 years ago. Just talk it out. If you are planning a wedding, the relationship is serious enough to talk about absolutly everything.... You can't be afraid to talk about anything with your husband.

GOOD LUCK ! Hope all works out for the both of you

Answer 2

I've been here......I'm assuming that the conversation hasn't come up yet in a serious manner between the two of you. I know how that is.

I started dating my now husband when I was 17, over nine years ago, and we married four months ago. We had discussed children, but only as far as the fact that both of us wanted kids "at some point" in the future. While we were planning our wedding I started to feel like "at some point" was now. I was anxious to bring it up, mostly because I was afraid of his answer. If he wasn't anywhere near ready, I wasn't sure how that would make me feel.

I just came out and asked him when he thought we should have kids......he looked at me puzzled so I followed up with telling him that I had been thinking recently that TTC after the wedding was a good time to start.

Then just let the conversation progress from there..and be prepared with logical reasons why (like the fianncial security and havng your own home already and getting married etc)...I'm sure he'll realize that you're serious, and if he hasn't thought about it yet....he will then.

Good luck!!!!!

Answer 3

I would advise you to wait until after the wedding to start a family. After having a baby, you will not have the same time and financial resources to spend on the wedding. Parenthood changes one's prioriaties. Caring for a child is time-consuming. After you have a baby, you'll want to put your financial resources towards college savings. You'd have to forego a honeymoon, or else leave your young child with someone else to go off on your honeymoon. (If you take the baby with you, it will be mroe of a vacation than a honeymoon!) You will feel more pressure to lose weight after having a child if you have a wedding dress to fit into.

You should, however, talk to your fiance now about having children. If you plan to marry him, you should know whether he wants children at all, and how soon. These things are best discussed before getting married. You should consider undergoing pre-marital counselling with your pastor or a secular counsellor in order to ensure you and your fiance are on the same page regarding finances, child-rearing, etc.

I wish you both the best!

Answer 4

Well, I'm 33 mother of 2, and pregnant again by my husband that I divorced 2 years ago, and was separated from for 2 years before that. I do not think you NEED to be married. You NEED a good job and means to support the baby. If you have that go for it.

Just be prepared to deal with him for the next 18+++ years if things go sour. ( same as if you married and divorced.) I'm lucky he doesn't care enough to come around.

Just sit him down, and say baby I want to talk about having a baby , I think I'm ready. You bought a home together that shows a long term commitment !

Answer 5

I would think that perhaps getting him around a baby, perhaps the child of someone you both know, and see how he behaves towards the child. If he's standoffish, you can pretty much take that as a sign that he is not ready. If he's receptive to the child, you could playfully ask if he wants one.

I know that this was not part of the question, but have you considered whether the baby should come before marriage? A child is much larger commitment than a marriage. Once you have a child with someone you and that person are together forever and there is no getting out of it.

Answer 6

Hi Debbie!!! i`m going to tell you something,... from the bottom of my heart: You are together with your Boyfriend for 7 years and ONLY YOU know how he is. his dislikes. Favorite color, his family- everything. When u2 decide to go to the mall ... make SURE you walk in front of the baby store.. and you stop and make a comment.. like.. " Ohh honey look how cute, imagine our baby wearing this or that" make sure you pay attention to his face expression and from there you will see his reaction.. Because sometimes our man can think but wont say because either he is scarred of hurting your fillings or he just don't want to talk about that.. and depends on his reaction... you will know the answer.. but remember.. the MALL is not a good place to talk to him.. So when u2 get back to the house... bring the subject... now.. Maybe you have a good income or maybe you are waiting to get married.. Like I told you in the beginning ONLY YOU know how he is... So... My sister for example.. she got married at church and after 3 years... she had a baby girl... they are really happy... And me... I got married 4 years ago... at the time i had a huge wedding planed out.. but family matter it didn't happen but nothing stopped us from getting married.. We went to the civil and now... " HE is Mine" LOL.... we have a house together.. and today i`m waiting on my blood results.. to see if we are going to have a family... and my daughter will be my " Flower Girl" at our wedding... So i wish you the best of luck!!!!

Answer 7

To be completely honest, I don't believe you need to be married to love and raise a child. However, I do believe you should be financialy stable and you should both want the child. 24 years old is still quite young but if you're absolutely ready, i would talk to him about it. If you're close enough in your relationship to have a baby and bring a child into the world than there should be no reservations to bringing it up in conversation. I would let him know how I feel.

Answer 8

If you are only 24, unmarried and you don't even know your boyfriend well enough to know what he would think, NO you should not bring a baby into this unstable environment. You have plenty of time. You should ask him how he feels about marriage first. If he can't commit to that he will not commit to having a family. A baby is not just a fun distraction and new little friend for you. Having a baby is very hard and you need the support of your responsible reliable spouse.

Happily married with 2 kids.

Answer 9

how long have you been with your boyfriend? have you talked about marriage? If you feel that you are ready for a baby then talk to him before you say "hey honey guess what?" Also look at his life is he home enough or always out with friends? is he responsible enough to step up to the plate or will you be stuck withthe baby 24/7/365? these are questions you need to be able to ask and answer. contact me if you want to talk.

Answer 10

you should wait until your married. if the wedding is comming up soon, then there should be no rush. if your not sure how he feels, then its not the right time. both need to be on the same boat, and want the same things. it will just cause stress in the relationship later on if your not honest. maybe hes just not ready yet. maybe he wants to wait until youve been married for a while to have children. i have been with my husband for almost 8 years and have been married for almost one of them. we recently decided a few months ago to try. you have time. dont rush into starting a family. get married first.