Guilty conscience or not?????

Question

I have just now returned from the airport after sending my mother aged 86 back home. At her age, everytime I say goodbye, it could be the last. However, this time she was with me for 2 months and I am really tired. I had so many people for Christmas and every day coming and going, I really need a break. BUT - she is gone two hours and I feel guilty over the relief I am feeling and the 'joy' I am experiencing at being alone and private for the first time since November. Now I can play the radio, watch any TV program, invite friends over and make a noise, go out whenever I want, be inconsiderate and think only about myself (don't have to cook and serve).

Am I going to have lots of regrets when she dies and is no longer there to visit me and "inconvenience" me.

Answer 1

You will regret it only if you never spent the time. Relatives who come for short visits and very infrequently are perceived by the elderly as people who dont want to be around them. Think about this: Mom relives every moment of the time you spend together. She thinks about the good times that you share. Wouldnt it be nice if the visits could be a couple times a year? Two months is long for you and her in my opinion. Older people need something to look forward to besides pills, bills, doctors and the weather. The holidays are a nice time to be together but the traffic and people wears a person down. I am in my fifties and had the summer cook out holidays for family gathering and it took a toll. You need some together time with mom. You will not regret it.

Answer 2

Be very proud of yourself. You gave your mother a beautiful two months and I'm sure she will tell all her friends what a wonderful time she had seeing everyone because you gave it to her. Don't feel guilty - You did a wonderful thing. That was true love.

Answer 3

stop driving yourself crazy...most people don't spend any time with there parents, if your doing all you said beleave me, your one of the good ones!

Now, if you want to make yourself feel better, call her and talk about the next time shes coming, then she will know that she was not a burden and you will want her back. Keep up the great work

Answer 4

I think you're going a bit overboard. While she's your Mom, that doesn't mean that you need to give up your life for her. A two month visit is extremely generous and it's entirely reasonable to be relieved that you're no longer playing host(ess).

Answer 5

I think everyone goes through moments like that some people are just more private than others. Give it a couple weeks and you'll probably miss her all over again.

Answer 6

my mom passed away may 31,she use to make me feel guilty when i wasnt running and doing for her,i loved her and still do with all my heart,no you never need to feel guilty you have done everything you can for her true at that age we never know yet when do we ever know our lives are not assured we could fall over of a heart attack or something anytime,im not saying this with a cold heart but do all you can for your mom while she is here but you have a life too.............good luck

Answer 7

Maggie calm down, your a great person and daughter be thankful your mom is still able to come and go ...god bless her she sounds like a super mom and you are feeling normal feelings and thats o.k. and deep down you worry because she is in her 80...really maggie bless you both and love eachother and stop wasting time feeling guilty you are a great daughter love kara....call mom more often it will make both of you feel better love kara

Answer 8

u have a right to a life too, yes we do feel guilty with our mother's, but u have been good to yours, and u should not feel guilt, there may come a time when u will have to take care of her and it could be sooner than later, so enjoy your time now.