Do I have to speak?

Question

I am tired, upset and angry and it's mostly because of my roommate. She says and does annoying things and my Customs People (they're like RA's) excuse her for it. They rationalize why she may have done what she did or said what she said. I find rationalizing a way to understand a person's motive but not an excuse. At some point in time, you're just going to have to own up to your behavior. However, for as long as I room with her, they will forgive her and expect me to do the same. I feel so guilty for being so "mean" that I do and the next week, she does something else selfish. (I explained to her that when the blinds are up, the sun glares on my face in the morning and at my computer screen and I can't read the monitor. She says, "Oh, that's why you have been pulling it back down. The next morning, the sun greets my eyes again and I notice she has pulled them back up). I find I am just happier when I pretend she doesn't exist. So can I continue that? Yes or No, do we have to speak?

Answer 1

Having a roommate is not always what we initially think it's cracked up to be! I lived with a friend for 5 years. The first couple of months were great- someone to talk to, stay up late and snack with, go party with, etc. Eventually though, I payed attention to the things she would do and not do around the house. I was the one doing a lot of the cleaning and yard work. I thought that if I didn't say anything and she would see me doing these things, she would offer to help-WRONG! She was often sarcastic in her own little way. I finally had to sit down and tell her how I felt. The friendship became even stronger, knowing that we could be blunt about things and still respect each other. My advice- sit her down and have a serious discussion with her. She might not like what she hears but at least you were friend enough to be honest. Good Luck and I hope things change for the better!!

Answer 2

She must really like the blinds up in the morning. Is there a compromize anywhere. Can you move your desk or computer area so that the sun does not glare on your screen? It may be good to rearrange your funiture anyway. Just tell her your wanting to do a spring clean or something and you want to try a new way. If the glare gets off your monitor would the blinds still bother you?