Hi,
My g/f and me were planning to move in together this september. I'm 27 she's 22 and she's German living in Germany.
She's now turned round out of the blue and said she's not ready for us to move in together as she's scared the relationship will get boring, that she won't see her friends and that she doesn't want to leave her parents.
As an alternative she wants us to stay with her parents for a couple of months and then see how things are togetrher from there, maybe move in together or maybe me finding my own space somewhere.
I understand this stance from her completely and it's sensible and reasonable. So why do I feel so rejected and resentful??
It also gives me the impression that our relationship would go on trial at her parents in this way, what would it mean if we decided not to move in together??Also, my german's not good,the thought of getting a room on my own is scary and its taking away my motivation to even go there!
2007-02-20 03:10:51 · 12 answers · asked by colejoe79 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What are you doing going out with a german in the first place????
Ditch her now!
2007-02-20 03:14:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a great chance for you to prove that you are a man, that you can look after her, and to show your commitment to her by moving there. Listen to me, if a girl from a small country town can move away from that and make it in London UK then you've got no problems at all. That girl was me, and I am glad I was brave and took the plunge and did it, go on, be brave and take the challenge. Your German will improve very quickly when you live there.
2007-02-20 03:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living together is a tough challenge when its just the 2 of you. Moving in with someone's parents is likely to put a huge strain on the relationship. I'm not surprised you are feeling resentful.
2007-02-20 03:18:33 · answer #3 · answered by ************* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never mind anything else where are you going to work to support yourself? I agrree this sounds like a trial living to gether and if either of you feels you need a trial then you are not ready to move in full stop. I suggest you take it in turns to travel to see each other every 2 weeks for a while before you make any major decisions. (Oh - and go and sign up a t a beginners class for german)>
2007-02-20 03:16:15 · answer #4 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's understandable to feel rejected....but you also agree that she is being sensible....so why not respect her decision? After all, she is only postponing it a bit to take it slower.YOu have to understand she also has her fear. I can imagine that she's suddenly not being her parents and it might scare her a bit to suddenly move in with her guy.....Give her some time to prepare herself.
2007-02-20 03:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by chardonnayormerlot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
living with her parents is not moving in together its you moving into a life that she is already comfortable with. Sounds to me that she is not ready to grow up and lead her own life i think you both need to sit down and really talk about what you both want as it sounding like you both want very different things
2007-02-20 03:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by Alik411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bitte!
Your gf did the right thing. She sounds very young and not ready for this commitment. Your feeling are normal, but guess what - it would have been worse later on when she dumped you because she was not ready.
Count you blessings and move on.
2007-02-20 03:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,you only live once so give it a go.If it does not work out you can always come back.I think it is a big gamble especially staying with her family.Honestly only you can decide,if you love her you will go.If not then you will meet some one else.Good Luck
2007-02-20 03:19:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite reasonable for her to have reservations and for you to feel rejected by the change in plan, especially such a life changing one. If you're in for the long haul, why not try it and give it your best shot!
2007-02-20 03:23:35 · answer #9 · answered by MI5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only worried about the extra cost of renting etc. Dont move in to the family home, it wont work.
2007-02-20 03:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋