My sister In-law has 3 children and this summer she hit rock bottom and I offered her and the kids to come stay with Me,her brother and my 2 kids.I did all the laundry,cleaning and cooking etc.and spent loads of time with all the kids.At the end of summer she ended up moving outta town and left her 9 year old boy to stay at a grungy hotel(bar)So I made him a promise that I would take him for a weekend every month. When he's here we do crafts,baking,sleddingetc.I make sure he has a fun filled weekend.On msn a month ago she asked me how his weekend went(I have not heard from her since she moved)I wrote her an email saying what he did and how much fun he had.I also let her know when he's planning to come back here next month and that he is really excited cause were taking him and the kids to monster jam.I asked her to not come in on those days cause I dont want to make him choose.She wrote back sayingHES MY SON NOT YOUR AND HE'LL CHOOSE ME OVER U N E DAY.Since then she has not called him.
2007-02-20 02:57:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know what to do..I am not trying to be his mom at all, I'm only trying to be a support. When his mom does come in town she only takes him for an hour or two..I guess she is really being imature right now by punishing her son..with no phone calls or visits which is really sad. He called her and all she had to say was I lost your phone number...Should I stop the monthly visits with him because it's puches his mom away everytime he comes here? Or should I still have him here every month and keep on going with the activities and support? Knowone else from the famil;y calls or spends time with him and he loves to spend time with his cousins.AM I IN THE WRONG BY STEPPING IN WHERE I DON'T BELONG? Keep in mind that over the summer we all got really close. Why would she take her other two boys and not him?(that what he cant understand)
2007-02-20 03:02:25 · update #1
The father is the one caring for him now but yes he has about 10 kids all over the place and cant hold a job either..on assistance and living paycheck to paycheck...The mother does not pay any support of any type...for christmas she got her other kids all a gameboy advance and got him Blocks. A 9 year old Blocks, come on already! His father saved up for months and months and now this little boy has a gameboy too. My goal for when he comes here is for him to forget about all the troubles in his life and to have a great and fun time. A kid should be a kid! His mother is coming in next month at the start of spring break for the whole weekend and is only taking him for 1 night. I was thinking of taking him for the whole spring break after he has his time with his MOM for that one night. But when he came here this weekend and told me how she is acting I was thinking of not taking him, until he asked me if he could come over:( should I?
2007-02-20 03:22:41 · update #2
Sounds like she's enjoying the rocks at the bottom.
I'd be tempted to go for legal counseling...and family counseling. You belong.
2007-02-20 03:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Her life is choas, yours is stressless in comparison. She is already feeling pretty bad about what is going on. She is still family. Its easy to see choices from the outside but not when you are in the mix. I bet staying at your house was pretty much her low point. Being in a stuctured home, and seeing someone else doing without the drama and endless troubles makes your sister-in-law envy your life. Of course, she would never be able to say that to you. Then you take her son in and put it to her not to call. Thats anger and betrayal in her voice. I have been there. There is no way that you can understand her pain if you have not been there. She does not understand it. It will take time before she is able to realize where she went wrong. But she needs you to be her partner raising her son. By the grace of God I have survived and so will she. By the love of her family will she be able to move on more quickly and get past the trials of her life.
2007-02-20 11:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by Miki M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is he staying with?? I think the mom needs to step up to the plate and be a mom..you are more of a mother for that little boy than she appears to be...My hats off to you for taking him under your wing when you can..I'm sure he will cherish those times and be greatful that you are in his life...
I would talk to the boy and let him know your plans, then tell him that it is his decision as to whether he wants to go to the Monster Jam w/ you or not...that it is okay to spend time with his mom if she is in town..you will plan another weekend w/ him soon...
Are you in any position to adopt him?? I doubt she would let him go, however, it may be in his best interest to be w/ you and your family...has he expressed any interest in this? I hope that his mom is at least sending money to whoever is caring for her son, since she is taking the easy way out and not really being a mom...
2007-02-20 11:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are being a good person to this kid and you should not feel bad. You are really out of your way to help this kid and make sure he is having fun and loved too. His mother seems to have all kind of problems and she needs to learn how to love her child and being a mom. I give you a STAR being a lovable person.
Don't stop ... and stop feeling bad on things you were good on.
2007-02-20 11:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by DoggieWorld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First remind her that you are only trying to help, and ask her if she doesn't need your help, speak up. And also at that time, you should talk to her about going to see a official, or child protective service, tell her that you are worried about your nephew. Give her a choice what she wants and should do. Then go from there. Oh, talk to your husband about it as well.
2007-02-20 11:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wonderful that you are doing what you can for your nephew. It seems he is in a terrible situation, and he definitely needs your support. As for her, I would be inclined to take the proper steps to have the boy full time, since it appears that you are acting more as a mother to him than she is.
2007-02-20 11:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by kari w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you feel is best for that child. It sounds like you are the best thing for him. Have you thought about seeking adoption? He needs someone in his life that loves him and will take good care of him.
2007-02-20 11:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by BooBoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a pitiful excuse for a mother,if she thought so much about him being HER SON why did she leave him to begin with,shes not thinking of him when shes saying he will choose me sounds like shes trying to draw the battlegrounds,she probably knows what kind of mother she has been portraying and is trying to defend herself,you are doing the right thing and never let her think she can manipulate you thank God he has you...........good luck and God Bless
2007-02-20 11:09:01 · answer #8 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur dealing with a weird womwn she doesnt think much of her own son so dont take anything personally let her do what she wants you do ur part and do ur best
2007-02-20 11:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by ladyluck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need this, so do not welcome her into your home any more. Do not email, it is not worth it. Now if her son wants to come, and if you feel like it, that is a different story. Just say a prayer for her.
2007-02-20 11:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋