my baby boys first birthday is coming up soon,he was 14weeks premature and only lived for 7 hours and i feel so alone and would like to hear other peoples experiences and how they coped.
2007-02-20 02:52:02 · 12 answers · asked by allymc2001uk 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I personally havent experienced anything close to what you have,you got to know your baby and hold him but my loss was bad enough i lost a pregnancy and the due day is approaching ive found many ways to help my grief.You need to find a way to symbolize the loss of your baby perhaps a memorial plant a tree and every anniversary place a little toy teddy eyc on it,I am going to plant a tree on my due date and i have a special poem wrote ready which i have laminated and will hang it on the tree together with a childrens windmill toy this was my way of copeing my giving my baby a final goodbye and knowing that march 19th will be the day i have to llet me little one go,all the crying and hopeing in the world wont bring them back they are heavens little angels now heres a poem just for you
I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother and I know I heard him say...
A Mother has a baby, this we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother, when your baby’s not with you?
Yes you can, he replied with confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime; and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb, but there’s no need to stay.
I just don’t understand this God, I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat; and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile with other children,
and say,
"We go to Earth to learn our lessons of Love and Life and Fear, My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here... I feel so lucky to have a Mom, who had so much love for me, I learned my lesson quickly, My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much but I visit her each day, When she goes to sleep, on her pillow is where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek; and whisper in her ear, Mommy don’t sad today, I’m your baby and I’m here.
So you see my dear sweet one, your children are okay.
Your babies are here in my home; And this is where they’ll stay.
They’ll wait for you with me, until your lesson is through.
And on the day that day arrives, they’ll be at the gates for you.
So, now you see what makes a Mother, it’s the feeling in your heart.
It’s the love you had so much of, right from the very start.
Though some on Earth may not realize until their time is done,
Remember all the love you have,
And know that you are a special Mom!
Only you will find your way of copeing i hope this may give you a little comfort i am so sorry for your loss and my heart is with you but they say time is a great healer and although we will never forget our angels we will learn to smile in there memory.
2007-02-20 03:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid it's impossible to say when you will ovulate again because it varies so much between different women. I know women who have ovulated a week after a miscarriage. For me (2 miscarriages) it has always taken longer - 10 weeks after the first and 12 weeks after the second. I'd suggest buying a big bag of opks off ebay and testing every day as well as keeping an eye on your CM. It's possible you might not ovulate again before your next period. Equally, you might ovulate in a few days. So start using them as soon as you can. I know your pain because I had 2miscarriages last year while trying to conceive my second child. It does get better with time, I promise.
2016-05-23 22:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I am so sorry. I really can't imagine how you must feel, I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks but I just know it is not the same as what you are going through.
I still always think of Baby when it is the due date and when it is the anniversary of the miscarriage (as well as plenty of other times of course). I have the advantage that I have successfully had two children since, and they keep me busy. I try to keep busy when it is anniversary/birthday though so I don't have time to feel sad.
Lots of love to you...
2007-02-20 03:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by Take me to Venice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this did not happen to me, but having given birth not long ago I can imagine the pain must be dreadful. My cousin lost a baby due to strangulation by the cord shortly after losing her father. She was desperately sad, especially since it was a boy and would be named after her father. She only improved when she had another baby and let time heal some of the pain, enough to make life tolerable. I do not mean to sound cold, because it is heartbreaking, but you should think about having a new baby to let the one who has passed know that you are ok. There is still happiness in this life for you, that is why you are here.
2007-02-20 03:11:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't experienced that, but I have friends who have. Perhaps you could honor his birthday in some way - maybe make a small scrapbook with any pictures you might have. If the loneliness is overwhelming, find someone you can be close to.
Also, contact the hospital. It's possible there are support groups for people in your situation that might be able to offer you an understanding shoulder to cry on.
2007-02-20 02:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter Maya was stillborn on the 1st of May last year.
Even though it's still 3 months away we are already feeling quite anxious and upset about the approach of her 1st birthday.
We have decided to have a small private ceremony for family & close friends to plant a cherry blossom tree in her memory.
We will spend the day remembering her and looking at photographs and looking through the clothes and toys that we'd bought for her.
I have a 4yr old daughter who needs to understand that it's ok to still be sad, to still remember and still talk about our baby.
I hope you find a way to cope. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Take care, Annika x
2007-02-20 06:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine lost her baby after 3 months in neonatal care...she celebrates every year by releasing helium balloons in front of the hospital, her daughter who was 4 at the time of his death said were sending Joshie 'loons to heaven..
2007-02-20 03:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by kat k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can sympathise with you and understand how difficult it is. there is no set way in which you deal with it and you just have to do what feels right for you. i celebrated the fact that my child was with me even for a short time. try not to dwell on what you think they would be doing by now, it will on make it harder. if you have a partner or friend that your close to, tell them how your feeling, it does feel better to talk. just remember how special it is that you were that little boys mother. that little boy was very lucky to have you as a mum, you obviously loved him very much
2007-02-20 03:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss - I can't imagine anything more painful. A friend of mine lost her daughter in childbirth. She visits the grave regularly and leaves flowers. She takes toys and gifts on her daughter's birthday. Are you in the UK? There are several charities that could help you, SANDS being one of them:
http://www.uk-sands.org/
2007-02-20 03:00:05 · answer #9 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been in this situation but I would just like to say your a very brave lady and I wish you all the luck in the world xxx
2007-02-20 03:02:31 · answer #10 · answered by SARAH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋