Don't I have the right to say that the OW SHOULD NOT SPEND THE NIGHT with my husband when my kids are with him
My lawyer is filing papers to stop this. This will include ski trips or anything where they can get the impression that this activity is OK. People are saying that what they do with him is up to him even though apparently the courts don't think so. I am tempted to remove custody from him all together.
We are not divorced or even legally separated.
By the way, I am dating someone. This is not about whether my H sticks it in a woman, man or horse. I don't want my kids in that environment.
My bf is not spending the night. Thank you.
Addendum:
My lawyer just called to say that the judge signed the order first thing this morning. Guess the courts can dictate, huh?
2007-02-20 02:25:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unless she is one of many women he is sleeping with then he he is not doing anything wrong. he also has the right to say what kind of environment is ok for his kids. (unless of course it is a dangerous one) your divorce did not take away his rights to decision making for his kids and what they do in his care is his business just as when they are in your care he cannot say what you can and cannot do with them. if his relationship with this woman is a serious and healthy relationship it is not a wrong environment for them to see. and unless they are actually doing it in front of the kids there is no activity they are seeing that is wrong.
2007-02-20 02:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have probably just put your children in worse situation than your husband would have by having the other woman sleep over. Now you have complicated the potential divorce, which will make it long, angry, and drawn out-damaging to the children. Now they will get to experience the hate and resentment, the harsh words, and a life time of thinking it's okay to control someone that doesn't belong to them.
Way to make it harder than it already is for your children. Did you ask your children how they felt about this? Or did you do it for your selfish reasons just to hurt him?
I hate that this sounds so mean, but I experienced a very similar situation when my parents were divorcing. It killed me to see that my mom would not let my dad be happy. I hated the fact that he had to suffer because she never asked what we thought. I liked my fathers girlfriend, he was happy and full of life around her and she treated us wonderfully.
What is so wrong with letting children be in a happy environment?
2007-02-20 04:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by Krispy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think when you guys separate the kids will eventually have to spent the night with him and his spouse when he gets remarried however i think this situation about not been together and not separated can create some kind of a mix up to the kids i think you should talk to a counselor to see a way that your children's don't get hurt in the middle of this situation i think too that until you separate you both shouldn't spent the night with no one with the kids around. And don't removed custody because the only one who is going to get hurt is going to be your children's dad bad or good it don't matter to child i the heart of a child the mom and dad are everything. My best wishes to you and good luck
2007-02-20 02:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by user 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop your boyfriend first to put yourself in high moral grounds so that your husband can fully grasp the situation.
Your boyfriend not spending the night in your house does not exempt you from the immoral act which you do not like your husband to do. If you want him to follow.......SET A GOOD EXAMPLE.
Why use the court when you have not even discussed it with your husband? Use courts discriminately....only when you guys could not settle it amicably.
Removing custody???? I think...with your course of actions....are all fits of jealousy.
2007-02-20 03:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by babytalk 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
please stop with this same question as they are getting to be a bit redundant. i'm going to answer this question as i did the last two questions like this.
could JEALOUSY be a big part of this?? move on and act like an adult. kids will know the difference sooner or later and there's no sense in you making it later thus hindering their knowledge. let them decide if they want to accept the idea or not of their dad's g/f spending the night. who gives a rat's a s s what the court said-you could be making that up as far as we know so try that stupid saying on someone else.
Mom of B & D
2007-02-21 03:03:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mom of B & D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is the courts decision, however, it seems that BOTH you have little concern for the kids. Him for Having his new GF stay over, and YOU and HIM for dating before the divorce is even finial. You BOTH are giving the wrong impression to your kids. In this case, If I was the Judge, I would order counseling for them, you two are giving them enough to need it.
2007-02-20 02:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you want this in your divorce decree, be careful, because it will apply to YOU as well. Even if your current squeeze is not sleeping in your house, he will eventually, and then it will be YOU the one violating a court order.
My advice to you: live and let live.
I understand that you are trying to protect your kids, but this is not worth the hassle for neither of you. My friend got the same type of arangement for visitation to "protect" her 2 girls from "bad" influence and example from the ex-h girlfriend and future gfs. After YEARS of this it has become a NIGHTMARE for her. Her ex-h lost visitation and now she has the 2 girls, but NO MAN can enter HER own HOUSE! This has been going on for years now, she is now in her 40's and with no boyfriend. I gues syou can say that her idea turned on her.
Of course, her vindictive ex has spies al over to make sure no men enters the house. Keep in mind that it was HER the one who wanted this arragement to protect her girls from her ex-h gf's... the judge granted her request and applied it both ways,....now she is the one screwed!
I would advice you to reconsider and to try to move on with your life and let him move on with his, without holding the grudge for 18 years more!
Good luck
2007-02-20 02:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well this is what you get when you are acting out of anger or jealousy. I don't think your kids mind if their dad's girlfirend spends the night there when they are around or something. If you have problem with your husband, work it out without involving the children and don't deprive them of their father. Thank you
2007-02-20 02:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your desires to protect your kids from seeing people share a bed who are not married. You are trying to be a good mom and protect them - more people should realize that when children see unmarried people share a bed it does impact them and their actions in the future. Maybe you should try and talk rationally to your husband and explain it all to him. If he is not flexible, then I wish you the best of luck with the court system.
2007-02-20 02:34:20 · answer #9 · answered by Leah 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Doesnt matter if the court can dictate it or not...your still dating someone and legally married so your moral rampage is kaput. Listen to yourself...you have a husband and a boyfriend!!!! Get off your moral high horse and see fault in yourself sweety pie.
2007-02-20 02:29:50 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 9⤊ 1⤋