I have been working very part time at a bar just down the street For about 6 mo. now. My hubby hates it! A lot of our friends hang out there, and I know just about everyone in town,Yet he seems to think someone is going to sweep me off my feet and I will leave him. I just like the money and it can be fun.I get paid cash plus tips, and the best thing is I dont need to get a sitter for my 3 kids cause my husband is home when I work. I am really considering quitting because he hates it sooo much but I really like the extra money And regaurdless of how he thinks people have no respect for a bar tender, I get nothing but respect from everyone there. I do not dress trashy and I am not out to get numbers or flirt with anyone that sits down at the bar. I wear my wedding ring and I always announce that I am happily married with three kids when someone does ask. To top it off my hub works const. and his job is touch and go right now. Unemplyment just doesnt cut it!
2007-02-20 01:58:59 · 13 answers · asked by runzwsizorz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the extra money has afforded us a lot of little extras not to mention necessities at times. I know $ isn't everything but how can he be that insecure it's only 6 hours one week and 16 the next!
2007-02-20 02:01:28 · update #1
My mom watches the kids one night everyother weekend when I work so he can come down there. He has a good time with our friends and gets a nice night out while I am working!
2007-02-20 02:20:26 · update #2
In every marriage there is some kind of compromise.. If there is a well balance of give and take in your relationship with your husband, then you giving up working in the bar might be a way of giving your husband having his feelings important to you. I feel this would be the bigger win in this situation. Give up that job, get another job that can offer almost the same benefits. Maybe a waitress at a nice restaurant. Remember, one day you just might not approve of something he is doing and you would want him to put your feelings first. Otherwise, if he is just demanding and controlling and always expects you to consider what he wants only, then I would say you have a problems on your hands, and it is not you working at the bar.
2007-02-20 02:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out what is really bothering your husband. Trying to convince him to think your way is not going to work because men think different than woman. Turn the rationale around on him! Ask him if he'd rather you not make any money and sit home and you'd both be unemployed. Ask him to be honest with you, if he is an open enough guy. Set the mood for this talk on one of your days off, sent the kids off to parents/friends. I believe that there is an underlying truth behind his animosity towards your job and you. It might be that you are showing independence and a strength that he didn't realize was there before you guys got married. Maybe he sees this as an attack against his manhood. Whatever it is you guys really need to talk....I mean really communicate to each other what your new employment status means for your family/your marriage. It means that you have to continue to be strong and determined to provide for you family but at the same time, work on providing for you husband spiritually and emotionally,it means that you must be patient with him while he works out his issues. Let him know in small and or big ways that you are still his lady, He is still the man and that the change in economic status is only temporary. and yes it means stroking his ego (a gut wrenching, pride swallowing thing to do, I know), but hey this is a marriage! and you guys are a team. Stay positive! Don't allow his mood to tarnish yours, for every negative statement he has you counter with the positive! Don't quit your job, just make sure that you set your goal to maintain peace and harmony in your house as well as establish your independence. If you quit, the pressure of finances will eventually cause resentment on a whole new level. Good Luck!!!!
Hope this helps.
2007-02-20 02:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by k a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband doesn't trust you. You have the right to keep your job. You and your husband probably need to get some marital counseling to help him with his issues though. You could have a sitter watch the kids one night while you work, so your husband could come see you in action at the bar. That might allieviate some of the stress.
2007-02-20 02:04:31 · answer #3 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time to ask him straight out why he doesn't like you working. Is it this particular job or just you working in general? I like the suggestion of having your husband coming to hang out one night to see how a typical night at work is for you. Your family needs money and you have a decent job where people respect you.
2007-02-20 02:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by MommyB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say keep your job. But if you know for a fact that it's gonna continue to cause problems, quit.
Your marriage is very important.
I say, hire a sitter for a couple of nights and invite your hubby to hang out at the bar so he can see for himself how you handle yourself at the bar. Let him see how much you like it and how much he has absolutely nothing to worry about. It should cause him to feel at ease knowing that what you are telling him is the truth.
Anywho, I hope this helped ya!
2007-02-20 02:06:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
confident... tortured his human beings. As he would desire to no longer additionally be raised via his own mom. Who then while he grow to be a babe. placed him right into a basket. That he won't be killed. With the little ones. Age 2 And decrease than. So he grow to be no longer an Egyptian. He grow to be a Hebrew. Who grow to be torn from his family individuals as a baby. Then sent to be nursed And raised via his actual mom. i'd look upon that Egyptian And do the comparable. As he " that Egyptian" grow to be following orders. quite than having a shelter those no longer of his own. Moses did What he did. As status up And being a guy. on the time. He fled. In being afraid of his deed. yet i do no longer think of he felt any be apologetic approximately. He cared approximately doing the will of God. no longer guy's will. yet God's will.
2016-10-16 02:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by archuletta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should consider your husbands feelings in this matter. You have definately convienced me that all is well at your job and its always great to have extra $$. Continue to reasure your husband that you will be okay and he has nothing to be fearful about. If he just won't calm down about it, then you probably will have to give up your job. Its not worth losing your relationship over.
2007-02-20 02:10:40 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just his plain male ego that wouldn't accept your job.. Try explaining again to him without hurting his ego.. You know men, their ego is more important than our feelings... I think you're job is fine, don't quit on it just because of him, or you'll end up blaming him in the future that may cause many arguements.. Just try to make some sense on him on a lighter manner, he may not understand now, but someday he will get your point..
2007-02-20 02:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by carol 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him when the kids are asleep or not home.. tell him how you feel and that this extra cash isn't a big thing.. you should talk to him.. good luck..
2007-02-20 02:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by Breaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still have to be your own person. Getting married doesn't change that. Of course,if it came to a choice between the job and your marriage, you'd have no choice.
2007-02-20 02:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋