My 4 children,ages 7,12,13,and 16,lost their paternal grandma over the weekend.
2007-02-20 01:50:34 · 7 answers · asked by MaryBeth 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
PS--My youngest son has high functioning autism,and is confused.
2007-02-20 02:06:17 · update #1
First of all...I am very sorry for your loss and hope that you can pull through this together as a family.
Everyone is right. Child grief is different from adult grief. Every child, in every age group responds to death differently. Try not to impose adult feelings upon your child or tell them they should be feeling something. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Telling them how to grieve makes them feel like they are doing something wrong or invalidates their feelings. Everyone grieves in different ways. Children especially do not follow the usual stages. Sometimes, it is important to understand where they are in their development to understand how they grieve.
For example, your 7 year old...at 7, children may or may not understand that death is permanent and may expect you to "fix" their grandfather or ask when he is coming back. Or they may see death as a punishment and worry about what their grandfather did to deserve to die. At this stage, you may want to do some symbolic and make sure you two talk a lot.
If they continue to have difficulty, you may want to look into a children's bereavement program, many hospice programs offer them.
If you are interested in learning more, check out this site. There are a lot of helpful pdf files (so I couldn't link directly to them):
http://www.hospicesupportcare.org/help_children.html
2007-02-20 02:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by psychgrad 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
there are 5 stages of mourning for everyone.
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
How each person presents these stages of course, they just vary from person to person. Allowing that person to have these stages is what is important especially if that person was very close to the deceased. Allow your children to talk if need be and do not "sugar coat" the answers. They are at an age where if you do it will only confuse them more they understand what happened to grandma and if you explain it in sensitive yet factual basis they will be able to cope better.
2007-02-20 02:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by fcrain_us 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are 7 stages of mourning and the variously go through denial, anger and through to acceptance, however there is no 'rule' about how long it takes to go through any one stage and some stages may be skipped entirely by some people.
The key is to be acceptiing of however your children handle their grief, and to make it something that they can talk about as and when they like- even if you all end up in tears, you will all feel better by the time those tears have dried. This can be hard if you or your husband find it hard to deal with these emotions, but for children to feel they have to bury their feelings will ultimately not be good for them (and you).
Good luck to you and your family, be there for each other and you will come through it stronger.
x
2007-02-20 01:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by emily_jane2379 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My sympathies go to you and your family for your great loss.
I have three children and when my father in law died they were devastated but each reacted in a completely different way. My son refused to show emotion unless it was anger, one of my daughters decided the best way to mourn Gran was to talk about him non stop, my other daughter had a good cry and then that was it. Children go through the same processes as you, but sometimes they just do not know how to show their distress - I helped mine by asking them to write a poem of what gran meant to them and that was then read at the Church as part of the Funeral service. Now two years down the line we still miss him and my children say so too.
2007-02-20 02:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
So long as they want. Let them know that he has no extra agony and hes in a greater place now. A child may under no circumstances discontinue... They've a lot going via their mind and so they dont comprehend what to take action they are attempting to cover it. There are numerous unique phases of grieve though. Like i mentioned... As long as they want.Are trying telling them some reminiscences or exhibit them some photos. Hope this helps
2016-08-10 16:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by lujan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends upon the child because everyone grieves differently! Some children may act out or they can be with-drawn!! You just have to be patience and i am sorry about your loss! God Bless!!
2007-02-20 01:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by linda bug 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
as long as they prefer. enable them to renowned that he has not greater discomfort and hes in a greater valuable place now. a infant would by no ability provide up... they have lots going via their concepts and that they dont know what to realize this as that they attempt to conceal it. there are various diverse tiers of grieve nevertheless. like i mentioned... as long as they prefer.attempt telling them some thoughts or teach them some p.c... wish this facilitates
2016-11-24 20:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by bleau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋