Why are parents so controling?

Answer 1

Because they have to make sure you stay safe.

Answer 2

There are two possible explanations:

1. They love you and want the best for you, and their efforts to guide you and teach you can feel controlling at times. They just want you to avoid the mistakes they made and are in turn trying to avoid the mistakes they saw their parents make.

2. You aren't really a human being to them, but an extension of their own youth. They're using you as a means to try and make up for the failures of their own childhood, and trying to have a second youth through you, living vicariously. You aren't a human being being raised to adulthood, but a toy, a status symbol for them to focus on instead of accepting their own mortality.

It's easy to figure out which is which. For example, Type 1 will let you choose your own after school activities. Type 2 will choose them for you, or at least given you Hell if they don't agree with your choice.

If you're in an activity that involves competition and you succeed (Win the game, win a trophy):

If the parent ever thanks you for winning, you're dealing with Type 2. Type 2 will also give you Hell about how you need to keep trying harder, often belittling your existing accomplishments.

Type 1 will tell you to try harder as well, but they will be encouraging you, not berating you.

I think you can guess how the two different types will react when you fail.

Answer 3

To answer bluntly: Fear, most of the time. I mean, you might get the odd Alpha male or female parent who's controlling to everyone they every encounter - but for the most part it's just fear.

Your parents messed up when they were younger - if they tell you differently, they are flat out lying to you. But they have matured and (hopefully) changed for the better, and now they are trying to keep you from making the same mistakes.

I'm in my twenties now, but I was just an @$$ of a son when I was in my teens. Nearly broke my parents hearts, because I didn't want to be "Controlled" by them. In fact, I didn't want to be controlled so badly it landed me a stint in prison.

All that aside, my dad comes over for coffee like once a week to my house, and we just hang out like a couple of guys now. But I have a million regrets and we both know it, just like he did. So don't be hard on your parents for being afraid for you, the world sucks. But actually try to sit down with them and talk about what you find controlling. If you want them to be reasonable, be reasonable too. Set boundaries you both agree on, and stick to them - don't give your parents reason to think you're a liar; Because they'll think that for a long time if you breach trust a couple of times.

Hope this helps. Just be patient with them. I know they lived through the sixties or whatever (lol), but times are definitely different then, I don't care what they say.

Have a good one.

D

Answer 4

They're trying to look out for you! It's their job as your parents! You are their baby and they are going to do anything they can to protect you from danger! They were young once too yah know...and with the way the world is today...they get very nervous about everywhere you go and what crowd you're hanging with and what you are going to do! Trust me, you'll be the same way when you have your own...you'll want the best for them and will do anything to keep them safe from any danger!! Thats just the way it works....not to mean, because they really truly love you! Even though it may seen like they just dont understand.....just always tell them who, where, and when you willl return and they should have no problems! Good Luck!

Answer 5

Parents are so controlling cause the want to make sure you are safe.You are there flesh and blood so if you get hurt or are sad they are very kind about it (most of the time). Mine are controlling as well. like they say you'll thank them when your older.you may not understand now but you will later. they only care about you and your future that's all.and its there job as parents and adults.

Answer 6

parents like to controll bec they dont wanna let go....they beleive only whats rite 4 them neva mind from which angle it look like.i beleive we as kids have to make our own choice...this goes out to all parents



let us make the mistake in order to learn,i know u are caring and want the best 4 us.but how will we know whats right if we dont seek that oppportunity .

Answer 7

because they want you to grow up and be a good person, with a good job, they want you to be better then them, unless its the way i think of it, they waited alot of years to controll there own kids and if u think of it this way soon ull get to be the controlling parent

Answer 8

all parents want whats best for there kids, you'll learn as you grow that it's true I know here I am a 25 year old saying that but to be honest I'm the first one to go against my moms wishes.... but what can I say I'm a moron.. I want to do what I want to do ...

Answer 9

Its they're job to, they care about us and dont want any thing bad to happen to us so they do what comes natural to them and start being really controlling.

Answer 10

But my parents aren't like that, they know I have common sense... I don't have premarital sex, I don't drink, smoke. or sneak to people's houses...etc. I just have fun, like teens are supposed to do! Do right and they'l give you freedom...But freedom is only for kids who will do right....

They aren't controlling, they're trying to keep you safe...lol!!! If you've shown them that you get into danger, then they're going to give you lots and lots of rules to follow!

Answer 11

you're already on your previous due 1920s so so you may be identifying for your self already. greater ideal yet, locate somebody else who'll watch your toddler once you're going out, except you reside with your mothers and fathers, then which would be distinctive lies to tell them. confer with them suitable and tell them which you're a to blame individual and which you comprehend what you're doing. something could be resolved whilst reported with politeness.