everything used to be wonderful, and still is (most of the time) it seems like we have this perfect relationship, and then a dumb argument arives. and thats that. well now those dumb arguments have gotton kindof physical. Its always turned around on me so that i look like the bad guy. What should i do???
2007-02-20 01:27:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Every single man who has hurt his wife when things got "kinda physical" says that she was the one at fault. He says she "made" him mad, she "pushed his buttons", or if she would just listen to him and do what he wants he wouldnt "have " to hit her. If this is the first time in a 4 year relationship it may not be a regular thing but if it is then get out of the relationship.
2007-02-20 01:33:37 · answer #1 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by physical?
If you mean physical abuse, then I am dumbfounded that you would even ask this question!!!
You have a child, and you have NO RIGHT to gamble this child's well being with a dangerous person!
Go home to your parents. That may not be what you want to hear but so far you have had a child out of wed lock with a man that "gets physical". Your ability to make good decisions is really in question here. I think you need some time to grow up and stop "playing" grown up.
Ordinarily I would ask a woman in a abusive relationship why is she asking us to be more concerned about her well being than she is... but you have a child and the days of making stupid choices are OVER!!!
Go home to your parents!
2007-02-20 01:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be clever enough to know when you are wrong. Admit when you are wrong and hold strong for the things that you "know" are not your fault.
I have an in-law that gets physical when she argues with whoever is around her, when the other person tries do defend themselves, she says that they beat her up. Most of the time it's her man, sometimes it's her own children. In their efforts to keep her off of them, they would hold her down, bruising her arms. She would call the police saying that they beat her. The other person would go to jail because she was the one with the marks on her arms.
Believe me, I know that that wasn't fair, I had been there and done that too. I knew that I was in the wrong for starting the physical part of the argument.
But however, I have also been a victim of spousal abuse, where I had done nothing wrong.
You have to step aside sometimes and look at the big picture.
Before it turns physical; walk away.
2007-02-20 01:40:44 · answer #3 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All couples argue for one reason or another, the niche to this is to find constructive ways to resolve conflict. Whenever conflict escalates to physical violence, then the couple needs to really seek help in finding better ways to work through their problems. Whenever physical abuse enteres the arena of conflict it almost always leads to a more higher dangerous levels of violence. You and your boyfriend must put an end to this at the beginning. Seek help from a qualified therapist to help you two deal with conflict. You both also have to see the impact this will have on your son if the abuse continues. Hope you seriously seek help and think about what I have said. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-02-20 02:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it's starts to get physical that's a very bad thing so you both need to find a way to stop it.
If you both recognize what you're doing to your amazing son even at 9 months old that should give you an incentive to find a new way to settle your differences.
Walking away when it starts getting too heated is a very good idea.
2007-02-20 01:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If by physical you mean abusive, then you need to tell someone close to you what is happening. Even consider contacting the police. Even if your boyfriend apologizes after being physical with you, that doesn't mean it's ok. It's one thing to disagree and turn your cheek. It's another thing to have that cheek slapped in the process.
2007-02-20 01:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by socmum16 ♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you:
1)Put up with violence - or be violent yourself and subject your child to things that will definitely impact him when he is older (main one being that he will think that violence is ok)
2)Do something about it if you both think that relationship is worth saving (this means either couples counselling or anger management etc..)
3)You know the answer to your own question really but may not like to admit it.
Note: Although everyone wants the perfect family, loving mother and father, don't be afraid of bringing up a child alone. Plenty of people do it and do it sucessfully...
2007-02-20 01:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by barenakedlady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is hitting you that is not approiate becuase if your child witnesses this he might think that its okay to hit other females and you may think that your son doesnt understand whats going on but children have a way of understanding things at a young age.. they can pick up people's whole attitudes and determine if they like them or not so let him know that if he keeps hitting you he's gonna get locked up!!
2007-02-20 01:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by bubblez23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hummm...... If you really want this relationship get counseling now. Why are your arguments becoming physical? You say that you look like the bad guy. Are you the one that starts the physical altercation?
2007-02-20 01:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
u may want to seek therapy for this, and communicate alot with him. if he is turning it all on u he is not willing to take any responsibility for anything, thinks he is blameless, doesn't see or want to see his faults and may not be willing to work on the marriage. get some help now and learn how to fight fairly, and resolve things.
2007-02-20 01:35:26 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋