Ok both me and my husband decided our marriage was over and we are being adults about it. we have 3 children together, would it be ok if we were room mates and shared a house for the kids sake? we dont want the kids to get hurt by one of us not being there is it ok or not? I need some advice pls.
2007-02-20 00:31:16 · 18 answers · asked by mikentammy76 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we both decided if we date not to bring them around the kids or bring ppl home for our kids to see. but we are both free to live our own lives. help pls
2007-02-20 00:32:12 · update #1
We are going to tell the kids the situation but we just are better friends than husband and wife.
2007-02-20 00:37:54 · update #2
my kids are 12, 11 and 6 so they are still young. We have both agreed we will not bring anyone home or spend the night with anyone. I know it will be hard is there anyone out there with a similar situation and how did it work for you? We have no plans on getting back together, its over we both agreed on that.
2007-02-20 01:20:41 · update #3
I am in a similar situation. Yes, it is okay, provided you have clear guidelines between the two of you as to how you will continue to run the household. You can still be co-parents, and have separate lives. Make sure, if your kids are old enough to understand, that they are aware of your arrangement. Assure them that you still love them as always, but that it is better for the 2 of you to live this way. It can work, with proper communication. Good Luck!
2007-02-20 00:39:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetness 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Though it sounds good in theory, think this through for the long run. What kind of a message are you sending the children about relationships and what a family unit is when mommy and daddy both come and go and have boyfriends & girlfriends, stay over night elsewhere because you can't bring your friend home. Think about even starting a relationship with someone else. Would you start dating someone that was living with an ex? What happens if you do find someone & fall in love. What than? I can't imagine this would be good on any level.
2007-02-20 00:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kwk2lrn 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could try the arrangement out for a while and see what happens. Then, if it does not work take the kids and move out to a house/ apartment or ask him to move.
You may end up living as husband/ wife again. But it would be good for the kids and save you money.
2007-02-20 00:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you really need to speak with your kids. Explain why you got the divorce, make it clear it has nothing to do with them and they aren't to blame. And then ask them how they feel, if they would rather you all live together as roommates so that they can see you both at the same time, or if that would be weird and awkward for them, since you will be dating other people. You also should take into consideration how people you date will probably feel extremely uncomfortable that you still live with your ex.
2007-02-20 00:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
turning out to be roommates will harm and confuse the youngsters even extra effective than one in all you shifting out. whether, while you're such super acquaintances and could stand to proceed residing mutually, then don't break up. A divorce, no count number how "solid" and "amicable" is devastating to a toddler. don't be egocentric. You promised to love and look after the different individual for something of your existence. you're apparently in a coarse patch now so which you have desperate to do what you like and divorce. It does not artwork that way now. you have babies and you're able to think of of them first. until eventually there is actual or emotional abuse you're able to no longer even evaluate a divorce. So, suck it up, positioned your guy or woman petty thoughts aside for one and get some counseling. you have 12 years until eventually now all your babies are grown, so as that is lots of time to artwork it out.
2016-09-29 09:03:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that both are you are still together for your children. But if you two are going to date again, then your kids would have to split up all the same. It's ok for both of you to be roommates after divorcing, and your kids should still have the same love they hold before you two divorcing. your kids are growing up and they'll get to understand whats going on around them eventually, they won't feel hurt that their parents are divorced and dating again, it's just that their family is split up and not together, that will hurt your kids just like other kids whose parents are divorced. But what I feel is that you and your husband dating after getting divorced is ok, because you two want to move on after this relationship.
2007-02-20 00:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by Soaring 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Good Idea? But are you both sure that the divorce will remain a divorce all the time?My feeling is that now you may part ways but after running seperately for some distance, you may join back at some stage!! Anyway, its good for your children!!! All the best!!!
2007-02-20 00:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by THE WORRIER 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If that works for the both of you and the children. Just make sure that the children aren't being lied to. Let them know exactly what the situation is. Good luck!!
2007-02-20 00:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! If you are able to do it more power to you. I have often thought about that myself, if something were to go wrong with my marriage. We both love our children and don't want to see them hurt. I, personally, don't think I would be able to handle it.
If it is something that you can agree on and don't see any complications, like jealous feelings or things like that, then go for it.
2007-02-20 00:37:39 · answer #9 · answered by Parlez Entertainment 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds ok but are you sure it won't back fire. the kids are your utmost priority so it should be discussed with them in the open about your decision to stay in one house but live seperate lives. it should also be discussed in detail the house rules and the rules of engagement between you and your ex.
2007-02-20 01:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by speedy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋