I've been dating an un-happily married man for 6 mo's. I've NEVER done this before. I know it's wrong & it violates my morals, but we have an amazing connection & passion 4 eachother. After the first couple of mo's we fell in love & we'd like 2 get married someday. I'm frustrated & have no idea what 2 do. I know I should end the relationship, but he's in the process of ending the marriage. My friends think once a cheater, always a cheater & he may do the same thing w/me someday- if we stay together. I disagree because I know he married due 2 family pressures & was very young at the time. He says it was a big mistake.(1st gf) He'd like me 2 wait this out w/him. He just started a new career & isn't in a place financially where he can leave right now. He's living w/his wife in her parents rental house & his father-in-law's name in on his cars title. He feels stuck. I want 2 believe I'm not being strung along..He says it could take a few more mo's 2 save money,refi his car,move & divorce.
2007-02-19 23:49:42 · 16 answers · asked by Goodgurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Married men who cheat on their wives ALWAYS give the girlfriend a sob story about how unhappy they are and how they are stuck, and "can't leave right now". What he means is--I got tired of doing it with her and want something new on the side, but I'm not really man enough to tell anyone (you or her) the truth. If he is living in his parent in law's house, and doesn't have a car of his own and no money in the bank to speak of, and is a liar on top of all that, does he really sound like that great of a catch to you? He hasn't been that great of a catch for his wife so far, has he? Lose him. You can be passionate for someone that cherishes and takes care of only you, and you deserve that.
2007-02-19 23:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like the wind and as fast as you can. Do not look back and move on with your life without this guy in it. Trust me he is not worth it. Until he ends the marriage and the divorce is final he is not telling you the truth and just playing with you and your emotions. Has he told his wife about you and does she even know he wants out of the marriage? Maybe you should call her and ask her about this and see what she has to say. I doubt very much that he loves you. You are just an easy booty call and a way out for him. Your friends are right he will do the same to you someday. He needs to work on his marriage and stay with his wife and family if he has kids. He should have already filed for divorce a long time ago and not waited to do so if he was serious. You will be much better off without this guy trust me. Tell him it is over and you are breaking it off for now and if down the road once his divorce is final and he can prove it to you then and maybe then you just may be available and waiting for him but for right now you are done.
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2007-02-20 00:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww, hun... I learned this lesson a long time ago, when I got into a situation almost identical to yours. I was young (barely eighteen) and he was twenty-six. He told me for MONTHS that he was going to leave his wife, and then his wife caught him slipping over to my place. When confronted with the question, "Well, is it her or is it going to be ME?", guess who he chose. It's very rare that a married man will leave what he knows for what he doesn't know. Just a forwarning. BTW, that man that I dated, now, twelve years later, is remarried to someone else, and he's been cheating on her, too... While some people DO change (hence voiding out the old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater), most of them do not, and will remain stuck in their ways for the rest of their lives. Do yourself a favor and find a man without the baggage, sweetheart.
2016-05-23 22:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This ones a really hard question.And i wish i could be you for a day to find out the truth behind whats called an affair. this all sounds very sincere but if he really wanted this as strongly as he makes out he would walk from his marriage now. Or even before he met you. But think about this ,if you were so un happy in anything wouldnt you get right out of their now.He as you as an excuse and still doesnt move from the spot.Money or the lack of means nothing at the side of love, trust,loyalty,honesty,.yet he seems to think it does. THINK ABOUT IT>and good luck with either choice you make.
2007-02-20 01:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by patsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure you really want an honest answer. Involved for 6months with a married man and it goes against your morals? What I would do is end it now.. You are part of his confusion regarding his marriage.. Let him go.. Tell him. if he divorces and leaves.. then maybe you can work it out..but He's going to use you anyway.. I've seen this happen to lot's of people.. Kids involved.. Tell him to grow up.. His wife probably works her butt off raising the kids and he's running around with you.. Immature. Sorry
2007-02-20 00:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his wife's family controls the money, holds all of the cards here. your doing a bad thing here, the man is still married, and living with his wife. he is using u and his wife, u have no guarantee of any future with him, plus as long as u are also in his marriage there is no chance he will want to work it out with her. best to move on, morally this is so wrong. u are hearing just what he wants u to hear, there are always 2 sides to every story. think he is always going to give u some excuse as to why he can't leave her.
2007-02-20 00:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. Simple as that. Women will leave for love with their shirt on their back if they love another man. Men on the other hand can love you so they claim but then they think of money loss, having to spend money on this or split that with his wife. He is stringing you along. Its so painful for you isnt it. And there are so so many unhappily married men who are thinking about their own good and their own greed and their own selfishness. I feel so sorry for you. I know you wont believe anyone that writes you things but try this. Give him a deadline either he leaves or you go. And btw once you leave sorry to say there will be another patsy sending messages about how he truly loves her and he will leave. He needs someone to boot up his butt with a steel toed boot he is destroying you for his own benefit. Wake up and leave.
If he loved you if he TRULY loved you, he would be in a panic that you may find another single man. But he is sure of you and using you because you love him. Poor you.
2007-02-20 00:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say leave. The only thing you are doing is causing yourself more heartache. He says he's "in the process" of leaving but how long does that really take. If he were going to leave his wife, honey, he would have already left. Save yourself some heartache...you deserve way better!!! Good luck!!
2007-02-20 01:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i xsay that you must agree to stop seeing eachother until the divorce is final. It won't be easy and could take as much as 1 year, but if you really love him, then it will be okay.
2007-02-20 00:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up girl. He's not leaving his wife. You're his little side action toy. He's feeding you a big line of garbage. You're nothing more than a plaything to him.
2007-02-20 00:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋