I WANT TO MARRY HIM BUT I DONT THINK I CAN BECAUSE HE IS VERY CONTROLLING AND ABUSIVE AND IF THINGS DONT GO HIS WAY HE GETS MAD AND START BEATING ON ME. LAST WEEK WHEN I WENT TO MY DOCTORS APPT. TO HEAR THE BABY HEART BEAT HE STARTED PULLING MY HAIR FOR NO REASON. AND WHEN WE WENT TO ORLANDO AND WE WERE IN OUR HOTEL I WAS HAVING SHARP PAIN IN THE LOWER PART OF MY STOMACH AND I TOLD HIM TO TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL AND HE SAID NO HE DIDNT FEEL LIKE IT..
2007-02-19 23:47:12 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
you shouldn't marry someone who is abusive. get away from him ASAP. he beats on you, can you imagine what he will do when the baby starts to cry in the middle of the night? he is no good for you or your child. this situation breaks my heart, please get away from him. both of you deserve someone who will love you and treat you well, not beat you or control you.
get help from family or check out resources where you live. i don't know if your family is supportive but if you explain the situation, maybe they will be understanding.
i wish the best for you and your baby....
2007-02-19 23:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by cheshiregirl0472 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please leave him. Noone can make you, unfortunately, that is only your decision. My first marriage, when I was 18 got very abusive. It finally took ending up in the hospital with some broken bones before I realized that I needed to get out. It was easier because I had no kids. It will be easier for you to leave before you have this baby. Do you want him to beat your child too??? That is what will happen. And since you know about the abuse, they won't go lightly on you if and when child abuse is found. Go to a woman's shelter and ask for some help. I'm not even saying you should stay there, just for counseling (usually free). My parent's dragged me and it was the best thing they had ever done for me. They probably saved my life there. The counselor's can help you accept and decide what you can and will do. They will keep you safe too if you are in danger when you do leave. They usually have free legal counsel as well. Abuse is a vicious circle. The person can become sweet as pie for days, weeks, months, then it slowly starts to circle back to abusive again. I didn't realize this until I looked back at my relationship. The only way he is likely to change is with getting his own help too. You can get out and keep yourself safe and this unborn child safe too. But only you can do this. I hope you make the right decision before it is too late. Good luck to you and if you would like to talk, feel free to IM me.
2007-02-20 08:01:01 · answer #2 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
UH duh it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out . Don't marry him I promise if you do the controlling and the abusiveness will get worse and think how that can hurt your child and he might abuse the child . Yes it is a given that he will have the same controlling attitude with the child when it gets older . I know this from experience . I was raised by my grandparents and my grandpa was abusive it gave him some sort of power feeling . He didn't start being controlling ad abusive over me though till i was 6 years old . I wound up in foster care at 14 thank god or I would have been dead right now . You need to figure out a way to leave him . Go back and move in with your mom even if she lives out of state . call mom and dad explain the situation and have them send you a plain ticket so you can take care of that baby and makes sure it is safe !!!.
2007-02-20 07:57:00 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ hello_kitty_xoxo ♥ 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't want to marry him but are scared of how he'll react when you say no. Or do you think that by marrying him the abuse will stop? Well I'm sorry hun, but if he's still being abusive to you when your carrying his child, then the abuse will only get worse if you marry him, as he will see you as belonging to him then. You need to get out, and quick, I know it's hard, I've been there. You love him, you'll think he can change, you want your baby to have a father, etc. Stop kidding yourself, he doesn't love you, you don't hurt people you love, leopards don't change there spots, and it's better for a child to have one loving happy parent, than one abusive parent and one weak scared parent. Please take a look at this women's aid site, it tells you how to cover your tracks so your partner won't know you've been looking at it, and I hope you find the courage to leave soon, if you can't do it for you then do it for your baby.
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/default.asp
2007-02-20 08:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by fluffynickers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey whether you are pregnant with his baby or not he should not treat you like that. He needs a rude awakening to realize what he has. He is now a father whether he wants to face it or not. Maybe he is jealous and he is acting out to try and get your attention, but seriously girl think long and hard before you say yes to him things will only get worse with the hitting and pulling hair and stuff. You need to do what is best for you and the baby. You not only have your own life to watch out for but you have your unborn baby's life too. Just trust your heart and you will know what to do. Be careful girl and good luck. Keep in touch. I am here if you need me to talk.
2007-02-20 08:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from this person- you do not want to be with a man who abuses you- remember this could lead to hurting your child. You need someone to support you- if he would not take you to the hospital, that is proof enough he does not really care- and marry someone you know to be abusive would be wrong. Are you still having pains?
2007-02-20 10:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, what if it's not just you next time? I don't want you to worry, but it sounds like you need out. I just don't want you to wait until something happens. You need out now! Do not marry him. If he would not take you to the doctor when you were having sharp pains then it shows he doesn't care. A man who loves his woman does not hurt her just as a woman does not her man. It wont go away and will get worse, especially if he is that controlling. Get out while you can.
2007-02-20 08:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him. Get out of that relationship for the health of you and your baby. Just because you're pregnant by him doesn't mean you're obligated to be with him. You deserve better than anyone who is gonna be abusive to you and your baby. Think about the future. If he abuses you, it's likely that he will abuse the child.
2007-02-20 08:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by Babyface 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you must love him but he needs to seek help with a counsellor befor you can even consider marrying him. Living with an abusive, controling person is only going to bring you down. You are going to slowly loose you. In the sense that in the beginning things might be prety but then slowly and slowly you are not going to be yourself. You wont be allowed to talk to friend on the phone or see them without his permission, then it'll be family and even your mom. You will be all alone in locked in your house to wait on him hand and feet while he beats you for stupid reasons. You are going to lose all of your freedom
You have two people to think of now. Protect yourself and your little one. Best of luck with your decision.
2007-02-20 07:57:00 · answer #9 · answered by Allie D 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No!!!!! No!!!!
A man will never change his ways,being abusuve,,no way!
My dada hit my mum, and it became a habit.
Mum thought that she cud be patient and tried to change him,
but he will hit mum when she is asleep,
for no reasons.
Now my mum is staying far away from him.
Let me tell you this, getaway from him if you value your life and
your baby's life.
Go to your parents, or a put up at a fren's place.Dnt ans his calls. SNEAK AWAY FROM HIM, COZ HE SOUNDS LIKE A TEMPERAMENTAL, AND CRAZY DUDE.
Get help from the Women's Association from your community.
Dnt let him hit you again.!!!
It will always be a habit for him.
No matter what is the case he will flare up, and hit you for no reason.
Start a new life.You can do it..!!
You are not alone. Remember, we are never lack of friends.
Everywhere, we go , so long as you are
willing to ask and seek help, you will build new friendships.
This is the power of Love and Life.!!!
2007-02-20 08:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by rinoao 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋