What is wrong with me?

Question

I find it so difficult to take a side because I have to analyse every situation so as to dig out the good and bad on both sides. Then I can't decide.

Yes, but I can see it gets on peoples nerves.

Answer 1

Theres nothing wrong with you, its just the way you are,you like to see the good and bad in both sides, dont beat yourself up.

Answer 2

Analysing a cituation is a very good thing. Is not good to jump into conclusions. Yes, every now and then you have to make quick desicions but this are not as common as people might think.

Like the song says, if you choose not to decide you had still made a choice. Making a desicion comes from biases, believes, and experience. As you grow older and or see more of the world you'll get a better idea of who you are and what you stand for. Making a decision then will become easier. Note: I said easier. I did not said the correct choice.

Like I said, weight in both sides of a situation is good. What you need to do is put a value number on each point and counter point. For example, you want to by this sport car. The goods about it could be. It looks good, its stylich. Its fast and it goes with your personality. The bads could be high insurance rate. Comsume too much gas. Not as comfotable as a non sport car. You then classify what the problem is really about. in this particular example is about style vs money. So what you have to think what is more important, style or money. If you want the style then at least make sure you can afford it. To me if you can't afford the extra expense for this particular car is not worth it. I know many people that think differnt though. So, the question become how much are you willing to sacrifise your wallet in this particular case. If the question is about relationships, as in how a person threats another person then the question that must be ask is easier. Think, How would I like to be treated if it was me in that situation and is it fair or justified to threat a person the same way person X did? Note: I said fair or justified. Not fair and justified. Something can be justified and not be fair.

In life you also have to take chances. SOmetimes you come accross a crossroad and you must chooce to take a left turnor right turn. You look both ways and both ways look equall to each other. At this point just follow your instinc or flip a coin. I preffer my instincs. Be aware that you could be making the wrong desicion. But, this is part of life. You can't make right desicions all the time. You need to make bad desicions every now and then so you can earn new things. Is sometimes not about making the wrong desicion but how you overcome that bad desicion.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Nothing unless you consider being metoculous and thorough as something wrong.

It is best practice to weigh all available and relevant points to a tituation before coming up with an answer or decision.

A rash decision made in haste may have to be changed in the near future which means more work and thinking. If you go thorugh the whole thinking and weighing process, teh decision you come up with may last forever or at least for a very long time.

However, after all the weighing, you must make a decision or conclusion. Don't leave things hanging.

There is such a thing as over -analysing to the point of indecision.

Decisions have to be made based on available facts. With hindsight, it may not be the best course of action but at that particular time, it was the best solution.

Answer 4

Nothing.

In fact you're luckier than most people who can't not take up their friend's side, whether their friends are right or wrong. It's not a crime to want to stick to your friends but at the same time you aren't using your right to opinion as well and you do injustice to the one whom you do think is right. I was one of these people until recently, when I learned better.

Good for you that you have to think before you take a side. It might put you in a bad spot, but I say don't fret about it. You'll find that people will respect you more in the end. So don't think of changing your attitude.

Answer 5

Well this is a tough one...

There's good and bad things about this.

Good side is you can never get in to trouble for having a side.. for example if two of your friends are arguing and they both want you to take their sides, you cant/wont, therefore you dont lose friends.

Bad side... my sisiter-in-law never takes sides. she never seems to have opinion, and when we ask her what she thinks she just agree's with the majority.. which can get annoying sometimes

Wanting all the facts before you make a decision isn't a bad thing (whether you decide or not) most people rush into things with out having all the information.

So to conclude.. i don't know! cant decide!! hehe

Answer 6

You were not allowed to decide any thing when you were a child. It is learned behaviour. For right now decide on the next small issue that comes up. It doesn't matter if you are right or wrong at this point. the important thing is to make a decision, any decision.

Answer 7

I suffer from the same innate tendencies. First, you need to put yourself in situations where you are forced to make critical decisions. I did this by becoming a military officer. You become much more decisive and confident when your daily routine involves life and death situations, and people and millions of taxpayer dollars rely on your competence.

Now I'm in a position where my ultra-analytical ways serve me well.

Answer 8

Many seemingly clear cut situations have three sides. All of which have merit. The third side being the truth.

Answer 9

yes ur right,check on both sides and then decide

Answer 10

Are you a Libra ??? Or just don't want to be wrong..It's OK...better to make a decision once than every time the wind blows.

Answer 11

Nothing wrong with you. You are an optimizer. I have the same problem. It is overcome with practice. Eventually you will have to take the plunge on some choices and you will need to work on your contentment rating. The one that you exercises when the outcome of your decisions are not perfect.

As for instances where taking a side is of no consequence. Stick with your current routine and just don't take a side. It doesn't matter after all. Having people with a little impartiality is a treasure not a curse.