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My husband and I have opted for full reversal of household roles. He will be staying home full-time taking care of all of the housework (cooking, cleaning, etc) while I go to work at the office. What should I expect? I think he'll do a good job, but I know its not going to be the same.

2007-02-19 22:40:47 · 9 answers · asked by Claudia 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

9 answers

It may take him a while to get a routine down where he can keep the house clean. Men always find that keeping house is harder than they thought it would be! So don't be too hard on him if the house isn't up to your standards in the beginning.

He may also get kinda moody. Men are supposed to be the providers and even if he's open to the idea of exchanging roles, somewhere inside him, he may feel inadequate that he's not making the money.
You didn't mention kids, but if taking over the majority of their care is part of the deal, that's even more reason for him to get moody. Kids or not, he may feel trapped in the house, so give him a reason to get out pretty often.

Good luck!

2007-02-19 22:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by Nasubi 7 · 1 0

I'm in this very same situation 4 years now. I retired from the military and my wife works full-time. I stay home do everything laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc..., What you can expect is basically him going about his day doing the housework and cooking meals etc., but you must understand he may be out and about doing other things as well such as going to the gym, or golfing, or numerous other things.
My significant other resents the fact that i'm going to the gym twice a day working out, swimming etc. You'll find these type of feelings cropping up within a month and you'll just have to get use to the fact that he's not going to just sit home watching soaps on tv after his house chores are finished.

My Significant other resents the fact that i've lost wieght, have a great body that is well toned. She even asked me if i did this in order to attract women. Which was shocking to say the least.

It won't be your husband that is going to have problems adjusting it will be you, and don't be calling him on the phone alot while you are at work as he may not answer the phone either he's out shopping or doing something with his spare time. Doesn't mean he's out getting laid or looking for some female companionship.

2007-02-19 22:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1 1

Treat this like work and delegate 100%.

You have to expect that he will do things differently and probably not to your standard. Beware taking over again just cos you can do things better. Give him time to learn new stuff and get slick.

What bugged you with the conventional roles? YOu know what's neededhere. Make sure you are appreciative of his efforts and notice what he has done.(even if he didn't!) A spot of praise goes down well for everyone. Criticism breeds resentment so when things don't go well be very careful what you dish out.

Beware territorial battles for control in the kitchen! Ask before you eat stuff! Expect things to get rearranged from how you like them!

Be prepared that he will need to have time away from the house as he isn't getting social interaction at work. Bite your tongue when it's pub night or football at the weekend he needs time off too.

If you are really lucky then you will come home to a spotless house, clean laundry and dinner on the table!

2007-02-19 22:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by Dancemomma 2 · 1 1

next time he's taking an afternoon without work, enable him do all the chores. enable him see how plenty artwork that's. in the event that they're your little ones, that's not seen toddler sitting. that's stated as parenting. Sorry. I even have 4 little ones and that i'm on maternity bypass far flung from my complete time activity. by no ability had a house maid and that i clean my own great domicile. For me, i understand the version between clean and boy clean. the home is purely no longer clean. your little ones are sufficiently old that they are in a position to p.c.. up after themselves. i enable me young ones 8, 6, 3 (and that i've got a 10 day old toddler) p.c.. up all their toys and placed it in a plastic bin interior the lounge. no different toys allowed everywhere else. then I vacuum. quickly it's going to be college time. your little ones would be at school and relatively what else are you going to do with your self? If the jobs have been switched, i'd be pissed if my husband did no longer do any domicile initiatives. You 2 for sure had a huge existence substitute with you being area time and removing your maid. he's fairly no longer requesting something which you need to no longer be doing besides. perchance you're depressed through fact of your substitute in place. if so, seek for help.

2016-10-16 02:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well you have to expect that the house might not look exactly the same as it did when you were the one doing it and at home. This is ok though as long as he does a good job. Why the switching if i may ask? Was the a decisision that you both made together?

2007-02-19 23:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0 0

Just hope he does the best he can. What you have to have is a major shift of attitude - be totally satisfied with whatever he has done, don't criticize or tell him how to do anything "better" or "your way". That is critical to this working out. Just because he doesn't do something the way you would do it - doesn't mean it's not done okay. You just need to let go of the control...
I've had to do this over years of marriage ... though I still "prefer" my towels to be folded a certain way, and I don't like soft pasta -- but if he is doing it, praise him for doing it.
Good luck. Remember also that men are not great multitaskers, but they do well with lists.

2007-02-19 23:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0 0

Well you should expect what he would expect of you. Being a homemaker will now be HIS job. If dinner isn't on the table, the laundry done, and the house in good shape, he is failing in his job. If there are kids, obviously they should come first.

2007-02-19 22:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by L.A. Scene 3 · 1 1

It's the 21st century, get used to it!
Regards

2007-02-19 22:46:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 2

When you finish busting your butt, bringing home the money, you can home and clean up the things that you are not quite satified with............................. like the whole house.

2007-02-19 22:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 1 2

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