I was raised in a very dysfunctional family as an only child. I was sold to my husband at 27 and we lived in a cult for 25 years. I was married and abused for 30 years until I ran away. The people in the cult were so busy taking care of the farms they didn't have time to be friends.
I am 60 and a Christian and I pray and pray for friends People at the church are friendly, but no one is close. A counselor I went to said I was like an M&M. I had a hard shell on the outside from all the pain I've been through, but if people could get through that I had a sweet inside! I've done tons of charity work, been in groups, etc. but when my husband was fired last Friday I didn't have a soul to share my pain with. How do you find a friend?
2007-02-19 21:47:40 · 17 answers · asked by Nancy H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
To the person who said I needed pets, I have 3 cats, l dog, a rabbit and fish.
2007-02-19 22:35:48 · update #1
To the person who said volunteer at a community center, I have been a Cub Scout leader for 5 years, a 4H project leader for 15 years, taken a dog or cat for pet therapy for 20 years.
2007-02-19 22:36:55 · update #2
I am a music teacher. I teach at home. Don't drive much. Had polio as a kid and is coming back as post polio syndrome. Also have had 2 heart valve operations and am powered by a pacemaker.
2007-02-19 22:52:01 · update #3
Hi.
I'm really sad to hear your story.
Since your counsellor made that statement, perhaps you have to open up, but I'm very sure it's so much harder said then done.
But my suggestion would be to perhaps look around on the internet for support groups, which comprises of people around the world who have gone through similar experiences as yours, whom you can communicate and share your life/experiences with. You may eventually get to know this person more personally, and who knows you might become his/her friend.
Yahoo groups isnt a bad place to start looking. I actually found a group there that has helped me in my own area of difficulty/problem in life. The net also helps you, as you do not get to see the person face to face. This can help when you wish to share sensitive experiences, but do not have the courage to do so, in a face-to-face situation.
Do remember, there are people out there who are also looking for someone to know and be-friend. You could make a friend in ways you never knew possible.
I wish you the best in your search! =) And may God Bless You!
2007-02-19 22:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by Wei_hao 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try getting out to some social places in your area. Make it a point to go places where you can talk to people. Try joining a community club, like the YMCA. If you still have trouble, keep going to a couselor. I know no one likes to do this, but it does help. I have seen a couple since my second marriage fell apart. Talking to a psychologist will help take a load off. God Bless.
2007-02-27 14:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by kmf77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems as if you have had more than your share of problems in this life. I don't want to make presumptions here but I really need to bring up a point worth looking into by you. Are you dwelling on all your problems with other people? You need to honestly think about that question. If you determine that you may be doing that then that would be a good starting point in acquiring good friends. Unfortunately most people are attracted to others who are positive and look forward instead of backwards. Most would rather you listen to their lives and problems than to listen to yours. That's a fact of life to consider. We need to be good listeners to KEEP our friends coming back. This is just one avenue you can think about and that's all I can offer you at this time. GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-24 14:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by andyt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have had opportunites to confine in someone but because you have never trusted a soul before you don't know how or are scared to!
I wish you all the best, there are some really good ppl out there so I hope that you find them!
2007-02-19 21:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jojo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st off, I'm 40 and I'm not around people everyday and I love it. My job allow me to work alone and I love it. I also am a born again christian. I wanted to have friends then I learn that at times God separate us from people to do a work in us. Your work need to be forgiveness. Of things in the past, because if you don't forgive , God won't forgive you. 2ND. I had to be by myself in order to learn how to love myself. I had to learn to like myself and to be alone with myself.I also say this to you. You have gone Thur a lot of pain, maybe you are displaying this on the outside. If you make yourself friendly, then everyone will be friendly back. One other thing. I believe in God whole heartily and I love ti worship him I also love prayer time to my father. If you believe in praying and the father then his word is true, when he say He's closer then you think. God is your friend. That's why I'm comfortable being alone.I have to work on forgiving people that hurt me in the past and present, it is not easy. try to start there and if you like, you can e-mail me. candycakecream@yahoo.com.
2007-02-19 22:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If You Want a true friend to confide in, you have to be willing to trust someone enough. It's not always easy but it can happen. Put yourself out there. It's like how you tell kids to make new friends: be yourself, be outgoing and new doors will open
2007-02-27 15:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Katie Lynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always heard that in order to have a friend you have to be a friend. Are you trying to reach out to any of the people you are in contact with. I'm not being judgemental but sometimes you can't wait for someone to come to you.
2007-02-27 09:30:19 · answer #7 · answered by seventeendiamonds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am sorry for all the pain you have suffered :( i believe that friends can be found all you need is to let someone in,you work with people and i hope that the freind who is needed so much by you finds you very soon :) nobody knows when they are going to die and hope you have many years of happiness before you leave this world.
2007-02-19 22:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by zee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're a youthful woman nevertheless. do not worry about being in a relationship on the on the spot. concentration on college and draw close out consisting of your human beings. What do you want or opt for for your self? study a thanks to love your self first and premiere, it truly is the way you;ll benefit self-worth as well. at the same time as i replaced into your age i did not have any boyfriends and that i wasn't even allowed to this factor! I felt a similar as you. i will use myself as an celebration: searching back on my teenage years now, i'm satisfied i did not have a boyfriend at the same time as i replaced into in extreme college. I undergo in options all of my pals telling me their boyfriend complications and that i replaced into satisfied i did not might want to deal with the drama that comes alongside with being in a relationship. i'm 24 years previous and that i'm nevertheless unmarried. once i'm thoroughly finished with college and that i have my occupation, it truly is at the same time as i will start up courting. i did not actually have my first kiss until eventually i replaced into 23 years previous and that replaced into fairly well worth the wait, trust me. this may all are available in time. i wish this allows.
2016-10-17 08:11:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My poor dear, true friends will come if you open your heart, maybe try volunteer work like at a community centre and you may make some.
2007-02-19 21:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by chicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋