My husband is going to korea for a year (no he did not volunteer) we have 3 children and 1 more on the way, I am scared he will be different and we will never be the same. I just want to be prepared.
2007-02-19 20:30:42 · 5 answers · asked by AFWife and Mom of 4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Our kids are 3, 2, and 1 and 1 one the way.
2007-02-19 23:37:02 · update #1
I am married to a military man for 22 years, He deployed countless times. I cant say that he didnt change over the years we all do but the only deployments that I saw the changes were the conflict ones. Then the changes werent so drastic that they affected our marriage.
It always took him time to get acustomed to being around the kids again and fitting into our lives once more. He was always the same basic person and in a matter of weeks everything was back to normal for us.
There are things to make seperation easier for both the ones left behind and the one going.
Keep the comunication going, write, send pictures, goodies from home(favorite homemade treats).
Try to have schedueled times for phone calls so you dont miss them or your not sitting home waiting. Be flexable with this, his morning is your night. LOL
Stay busy, if you dont work volunteer. Dont let the stress of being a single parent get to you. There are places that will help with child care so you can volunteer. If the kids are school age spend some time at the school helping the staff out. They always love parent helpers.
Remeber that he cant help that little Johnny is acting out because his daddy is gone try not to blame him or make him feel worse than he already does for leaving you in the first place.
Be prepared for everything to go wrong that can go wrong shortly after he leaves. LOL It always does. The kids misbehave more,demand more attention. The car breaks down, the plumbing backs up.
There are ways to help the kids cope with the seperation. Like getting a calendar and marking off each day until he comes home. Let them send him letters, art work, sometime even their own favorite toy. Mine at times when he would be gone a long time even took personal things from each person like ones blanket and anothers pillow and a stuffed animal.
He in turn left one t-shirt of his for each, he wore it so it smelled like daddy. They slept with it and at times during the day I would see them just pick it up and smell it. Sounds gross but think about his pillow and his sent being on it when he has had to be gone overnight, how you snuggled up to it.
When the smell was gone out of his shirt I sent them to him and he repeated the process and sent them back.
I could go on and on with this subject as my husband was gone alot and I learned how to deal with it the best we could for our family.
Hope this helps and remember your not alone there is a whole military community out there to help you all you have to do is ask.
2007-02-19 21:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by sheryl e 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WELL, would advise you to follow him to Korea for the attachment. I am sure guys will not remain the same when they are on overseas attachment, well talking through experiences which I went through when I was attached to Austrilia. The tendency to have thrillsand fun wi=hen the wife is around is too great to resist.
2007-02-19 20:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by elderguy40s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
those who cheat might want to do it finally regardless of military existence and deployments. And its a lot extra primary in our society lately. i have been a military spouse for 18 years and by no potential cheated. If everybody I knew cheated, i did not know it. yet my hubby has had pals whose better halves cheated on them. the ladies human beings were runarounds before they were given married, they merely by no potential stopped. There are some women those who they do crack lower than the stress of being on my own in the course of the deployment and wondering if their husband will come homestead alive. i have had days at the same time as i replaced into so wrung out that i fairly necessary a pair of solid hands to carry me up and wrap me tight and tell me that is going to likely be ok. There are adult males that take great thing about that factor of weak spot. i'm no longer condoning the spouse's giving in, merely expertise the situations. human beings merely might want to keep themselves faraway from those temptations. And there are merely as many squaddies dishonest at the same time as they are faraway from their better halves wondering they could destroy out with it, or utilising the excuse that they could't bypass that lengthy with out. My husband had a classmate in BNCOC that replaced into that way. fairly some human beings do exactly not take their vows that heavily anymore.
2016-10-17 08:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they have messed up jet lagged schedule, they were TOLD they can die any minute and knowing this can make them insane and careless, they are fighting for the government and have no choice, they have low food and water supply, they have seen their friends die
of course they will be different dont expect much after that.
be sure to comfort him and welcome him when he comes back. he will REALLY need it
2007-02-19 20:35:03 · answer #4 · answered by John Becker 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If i had to vote on a great answer to this question i'd have to pick sheryl e's answer. She's been there and done it all.
2007-02-19 22:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋